I have noticed that men with means have an attraction to unstable women. Ok yes, I thought " oh yeah... sure she's a nut since you've divorced her." but I noticed also that they have the same characteristics. Either men, over the years, have described their past lady friends or I have observed them myself. Speaking VERY GENERALLY, the majority of the ladies are flighty, argumentative, moody or just have an all around bad humor. Then I get to either hear or see these men tap dance around trying to please them. Now it could be just the types of men that I attract or what have you but today at brunch I made mention of this to a guy friend and he agreed that he had thought the same thing.
Could it be that I am too normal? Since I don't have wide mood swings and stay positive I'm just too boring? And if its just the men blowing smoke, why do SO MANY put something about wanting a mentally and emotionally stable woman in their profiles? Where there's smoke there's fire ladies.
Next, I was very put off by a phone call from a man that I thought was a pretty decent gent. In the midst of the laughter he asks," So what makes you think you deserve a good life?" What? I thought he meant something like.. what are you doing to attract good into your life..or do you pay it forward? Something.... ANYTHING other than where he was going. Like.. WHY DO I THINK I DESERVE A MAN WITH MORE THAN 2 QUARTERS TO RUB TOGETHER?
I was FLOORED. Ok, let's see... my life, the literally 1000s of people I have helped over the years, the fact that I am doing my own thing educationally and career wise and hell, I can bring more to the table than just a napkin. Seriously? Needless to say, the conversation was over. I just didn't feel like going through all that.
And lastly.. I date men at least 15+ my senior. It's what I prefer. So an honest question would be "Why?" Ok I don't have a problem with fielding that question. It is legit. "Even why this site?" Not a problem. But last night the end all and be all of Unwrapping Nasty occured.
I had a late night conversation with a gent that I considered to have the makings of a friend. I should have hung up when I heard him listening to Cee Lo Green's "*uck You".
I didn't. He then proceeded to tell me about a 25 YO lady in CA that was blowing smoke up his butt. He was hurt I think and was kinda stuck on the whole gold digger aspect of the whole thing. Ok fine. But then it turned to me. There were questions about possibly people looking at us when we're together because of the racial and age divide. And then, what I thought about the car he drove. I didn't have any thoughts on the matter. When he heard this ... he came undone.
I'm sure we all have had instances where you're chatting with someone and think "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" It goes both ways. Here's a little bit of advice. If the person Unwraps Nasty.. don't sick around for the encore.
I always say, "If it looks weird, I walk."
Have a great week sweerthearts!!!
Happy Seis de Mayo LOL
I just had to put finger to key to note ........
My recent observations..
I have noticed that men with means have an attraction to unstable women. Ok yes, I thought " oh yeah... sure she's a nut since you've divorced her." but I noticed also that they have the same characteristics. Either men, over the years, have described their past lady friends or I have observed them myself. Speaking VERY GENERALLY, the majority of the ladies are flighty, argumentative, moody or just have an all around bad humor. Then I get to either hear or see these men tap dance around trying to please them. Now it could be just the types of men that I attract or what have you but today at brunch I made mention of this to a guy friend and he agreed that he had thought the same thing.
Could it be that I am too normal? Since I don't have wide mood swings and stay positive I'm just too boring? And if its just the men blowing smoke, why do SO MANY put something about wanting a mentally and emotionally stable woman in their profiles? Where there's smoke there's fire ladies.
Next, I was very put off by a phone call from a man that I thought was a pretty decent gent. In the midst of the laughter he asks," So what makes you think you deserve a good life?" What? I thought he meant something like.. what are you doing to attract good into your life..or do you pay it forward? Something.... ANYTHING other than where he was going. Like.. WHY DO I THINK I DESERVE A MAN WITH MORE THAN 2 QUARTERS TO RUB TOGETHER?
I was FLOORED. Ok, let's see... my life, the literally 1000s of people I have helped over the years, the fact that I am doing my own thing educationally and career wise and hell, I can bring more to the table than just a napkin. Seriously? Needless to say, the conversation was over. I just didn't feel like going through all that.
And lastly.. I date men at least 15+ my senior. It's what I prefer. So an honest question would be "Why?" Ok I don't have a problem with fielding that question. It is legit. "Even why this site?" Not a problem. But last night the end all and be all of Unwrapping Nasty occured.
I had a late night conversation with a gent that I considered to have the makings of a friend. I should have hung up when I heard him listening to Cee Lo Green's "*uck You".
I didn't. He then proceeded to tell me about a 25 YO lady in CA that was blowing smoke up his butt. He was hurt I think and was kinda stuck on the whole gold digger aspect of the whole thing. Ok fine. But then it turned to me. There were questions about possibly people looking at us when we're together because of the racial and age divide. And then, what I thought about the car he drove. I didn't have any thoughts on the matter. When he heard this ... he came undone.
I'm sure we all have had instances where you're chatting with someone and think "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" It goes both ways. Here's a little bit of advice. If the person Unwraps Nasty.. don't sick around for the encore.
Don't know how I missed all these posts!! Yo CG! I had a date off the number one marriage site last week... I KNEW he was too young.. But was very sweet so I let him know this upfront...
Well.. He was only 29... DONT JUDGE ME PEOPLE! He KNEW it was only to converse a bit as he lives hours away but works here all week.. Well, aside from me talking to him about what to expect from his 2 year old... and besides talking to him about my kids whom my son is only 7 years younger.. LOL... But guess hat he drove???
YEP! A HONDA!! Heeheehee~
Question #1 Gentlemen.. from now on. will be.. WHAT DO YOU DRIVE?
I DO feel a vehicle is one of the most accurate ways to divulge a personality and what someone's lifestyle is like...
I drive "BLACK BEAUTY" ...
2003 Dodge HEMI Quad Cab...
Shows I am:
BIGGER than most (Protecting myself)
Like POWER and engines...
Like lots of ROOM... and probably have shlpped children everywhere..
Might own a boat to haul things..
A little more "rugged" than your average Princess... Have some Tom-Boy...
I like BLACK, despite how hot it gets and how difficult it is to keep clean...
And it is a most accurate deptiction of WHO I AM... inside...
I AM...
1 TUFF HEMI...
Oh.. and it also shows I'm kind of an idiot.. cuz I'm too short to see past windshield wipers and can't see anything smaller that's behind me! I sit on my Tinkrbell pillow! WOOPS! WATCH OUT FOR ME ON 285 PPL!! Bwahahaha! ;)
Don't know how I missed all these posts!! Yo CG! I had a date off the number one marriage site last week... I KNEW he was too young.. But was very sweet so I let him know this upfront...
Well.. He was only 29... DONT JUDGE ME PEOPLE! He KNEW it was only to converse a bit as he lives hours away but works here all week.. Well, aside from me talking to him about what to expect from his 2 year old... and besides talking to him about my kids whom my son is only 7 years younger.. LOL... But guess hat he drove???
YEP! A HONDA!! Heeheehee~
Question #1 Gentlemen.. from now on. will be.. WHAT DO YOU DRIVE?
I DO feel a vehicle is one of the most accurate ways to divulge a personality and what someone's lifestyle is like...
I drive "BLACK BEAUTY" ...
2003 Dodge HEMI Quad Cab...
Shows I am:
BIGGER than most (Protecting myself)
Like POWER and engines...
Like lots of ROOM... and probably have shlpped children everywhere..
Might own a boat to haul things..
A little more "rugged" than your average Princess... Have some Tom-Boy...
I like BLACK, despite how hot it gets and how difficult it is to keep clean...
And it is a most accurate deptiction of WHO I AM... inside...
I AM...
1 TUFF HEMI...
Oh.. and it also shows I'm kind of an idiot.. cuz I'm too short to see past windshield wipers and can't see anything smaller that's behind me! I sit on my Tinkrbell pillow! WOOPS! WATCH OUT FOR ME ON 285 PPL!! Bwahahaha! ;)
Hope has some good points I had not considered about "what a man drives.'
While I didn't think the woman I mentioned should have judged me for what I chose to drive, I didn't consider that it can be another indication of personality. I don't look at cars that way, so I didn't see it. While I am perfectly comfortable driving a complete wreck to haul junk to the recycling center, as well as a nicer truck for everyday, and a luxury sedan to dinner, she is right that some people DO exhibit their personality in their vehicle.
If a woman can draw inferences from a Honda Civic, she certanly should. If she knows that type guy is not HER type, the sooner she knows it, the better. Just because I don't identify myself with ANY vehicle, doesn't mean there aren't LOTS of guys who do. I think it is very astute of Hope, and anyone else who has noticed these things about themselves and their fellow man.
I knew it in the recesses of my subconsciousness, but I hadn't recognized it. Duh moment. :):)
-CG-
Hope has some good points I had not considered about "what a man drives.'
While I didn't think the woman I mentioned should have judged me for what I chose to drive, I didn't consider that it can be another indication of personality. I don't look at cars that way, so I didn't see it. While I am perfectly comfortable driving a complete wreck to haul junk to the recycling center, as well as a nicer truck for everyday, and a luxury sedan to dinner, she is right that some people DO exhibit their personality in their vehicle.
If a woman can draw inferences from a Honda Civic, she certanly should. If she knows that type guy is not HER type, the sooner she knows it, the better. Just because I don't identify myself with ANY vehicle, doesn't mean there aren't LOTS of guys who do. I think it is very astute of Hope, and anyone else who has noticed these things about themselves and their fellow man.
I knew it in the recesses of my subconsciousness, but I hadn't recognized it. Duh moment. :):)
On the first type you describe.. I agree w/ CG... I doubt many people are seeing their exes as "great catches" and possibly focus too much on how they feel they were wronged than to look inward and seek answers to thier own flaws in the relationship... I personally find it a HUGE turn off for one to bring up exes so soon. To me it's a red flag for anger issues and not moving forward.
As for second example, not enough info to derive a response, as maybe his words were taken in wrong context... OR.. perhaps he is just a jerk stuck on fact he has money and thinks all women are gold-diggers.
The last guy... UGGg! If I hear that music playing.. That would be it! It's DEGRADING! And if that is what he feeds his mind!!! GREAT CALL to ditch that one!!
I do however believe what someone drives tells a lot about them, so that is a cool topic for me. IE: Men with trucks.. I love to boat, jet ski, ride dirt bikes... so this is NOT a negative factor for me..
I also like a man with class, so a man with a classy car works too! I have however found men who drive vehicles like a Honda Civic are not for me. Be it with the mentality or whatever, it has just never been a good mesh. Although I am usually "practical", I find that a little "too" practical for my taste. And a man with a van shows me that although children should always come first, he is possibly far too busy with children to ever have time for a real relatonship.
Hmmm.... INTERESTING...
On the first type you describe.. I agree w/ CG... I doubt many people are seeing their exes as "great catches" and possibly focus too much on how they feel they were wronged than to look inward and seek answers to thier own flaws in the relationship... I personally find it a HUGE turn off for one to bring up exes so soon. To me it's a red flag for anger issues and not moving forward.
As for second example, not enough info to derive a response, as maybe his words were taken in wrong context... OR.. perhaps he is just a jerk stuck on fact he has money and thinks all women are gold-diggers.
The last guy... UGGg! If I hear that music playing.. That would be it! It's DEGRADING! And if that is what he feeds his mind!!! GREAT CALL to ditch that one!!
I do however believe what someone drives tells a lot about them, so that is a cool topic for me. IE: Men with trucks.. I love to boat, jet ski, ride dirt bikes... so this is NOT a negative factor for me..
I also like a man with class, so a man with a classy car works too! I have however found men who drive vehicles like a Honda Civic are not for me. Be it with the mentality or whatever, it has just never been a good mesh. Although I am usually "practical", I find that a little "too" practical for my taste. And a man with a van shows me that although children should always come first, he is possibly far too busy with children to ever have time for a real relatonship.
I guess I never thought about the "what are you doing that that jerk" deal I go through with friends. You know, I guess I thought " if he's successful in his career, wouldn't he take the same care in his personal life?" And all too many times that's not the case. There's also the wanting someone who needs you deal. While men are drawn to women who actually want and need them around, to some extent, it's easy to go to far with that. Many times women want to seem so independent that they appear to not have any use for men. And so, some men tend to go to the other end of the spectrum, the needy, unstable woman. hmmmm....interesting thoughts
CG - Awesome point.
I guess I never thought about the "what are you doing that that jerk" deal I go through with friends. You know, I guess I thought " if he's successful in his career, wouldn't he take the same care in his personal life?" And all too many times that's not the case.
There's also the wanting someone who needs you deal. While men are drawn to women who actually want and need them around, to some extent, it's easy to go to far with that. Many times women want to seem so independent that they appear to not have any use for men. And so, some men tend to go to the other end of the spectrum, the needy, unstable woman.
hmmmm....interesting thoughts
My very recent experience. Exchanged a couple of emails. He contacted me and I didn't once express an interest in him. Infact I tried to put him off, told him I didn't have time for pen pals. As that's what I thought he was, one of the endless emails but nothing else type of guy. So today he send me a note suggesting that we meet in a town hundreds of miles from where I live. He doesn't live there, I think he thought he could bait me with it. It's a tourist spot, very beautiful... " It will be fun" he writes. ??? I have never spoken to him, or expressed an interest in him. But I'm going to drop what I'm doing. Drive hundreds of miles at my expense, to have "fun" with him!!!! He was pretty upset when I said absolutely not!! I don't know any woman who would take off and drive hundreds of miles to shack up with a man she had never even spoken to.. Yes par for the course here, it seems ... so take notice of those red flags girls..
My very recent experience.
Exchanged a couple of emails. He contacted me and I didn't once express an interest in him. Infact I tried to put him off, told him I didn't have time for pen pals. As that's what I thought he was, one of the endless emails but nothing else type of guy.
So today he send me a note suggesting that we meet in a town hundreds of miles from where I live. He doesn't live there, I think he thought he could bait me with it. It's a tourist spot, very beautiful... " It will be fun" he writes. ???
I have never spoken to him, or expressed an interest in him. But I'm going to drop what I'm doing. Drive hundreds of miles at my expense, to have "fun" with him!!!!
He was pretty upset when I said absolutely not!!
I don't know any woman who would take off and drive hundreds of miles to shack up with a man she had never even spoken to..
Yes par for the course here, it seems ... so take notice of those red flags girls..
I'll throw in a couple of my observations, opinions.....
If a woman cares at all what I drive, it is a negative point. I once dated a woman who thought that driving a truck as my personal vehicle was beneath her (and by extension, MY) status. We didn't last long. I didn't care what she drove, and I even understand if you'd like us to take the car to the theatre downtown, but tell me what I should drive on a daily basis??? I don't think so. :)
And regarding crazy, or unstable exes.... I certainly have some that qualify. But I also have some that are completely sane, wonderful people, who for one reason or another, just didn't work out on a 'forever' basis. Maybe my fault, maybe her fault, maybe nobody's fault??? But I think we need to remember on the 'crazy' ones, in other people's past, that often these are people with whom the man had a very strong emotional bond. When that bond breaks, most people see the fault as the other party, not themselves. So we must remember (in an OVERstated sense): That woman hates him. (Or at least strongly dislikes...or feels HE is to blame for her current or past discomfort.)
So, she treats him shabbily, or goes out of her way to cause him discomfort. While this is sad, it is also a common phase MANY people go through. And sometimes this phase can last years. So, when we look at her through the eyes of her ex-, sure, she looks flighty, crazy, vengeful, unstable, etc. But she may be stable and wonderful to everyone but the ex-. And she'll probably get over it, eventually. Now, this doesn't explain even a majority of the people you describe, but it is a significant sub-set, I feel.
Now, if ALL his exes are delusional, demented, unstable and/or vengeful, what (who) is the common factor here? That certainly bears taking into consideration, too. Does he CAUSE this behavior? Or is he just drawn to screwed up women? We men see it all the time in women. We think, "Why on earth would you go out with that loser, when you are such a great woman?" But she does, over and over again. Some women go for the loser. Some go for the bad boy. Some go for the 'project' they think they can fix.....
So do some men.
-CG-
La,
I'll throw in a couple of my observations, opinions.....
If a woman cares at all what I drive, it is a negative point. I once dated a woman who thought that driving a truck as my personal vehicle was beneath her (and by extension, MY) status. We didn't last long. I didn't care what she drove, and I even understand if you'd like us to take the car to the theatre downtown, but tell me what I should drive on a daily basis??? I don't think so. :)
And regarding crazy, or unstable exes.... I certainly have some that qualify. But I also have some that are completely sane, wonderful people, who for one reason or another, just didn't work out on a 'forever' basis. Maybe my fault, maybe her fault, maybe nobody's fault??? But I think we need to remember on the 'crazy' ones, in other people's past, that often these are people with whom the man had a very strong emotional bond. When that bond breaks, most people see the fault as the other party, not themselves. So we must remember (in an OVERstated sense): That woman hates him. (Or at least strongly dislikes...or feels HE is to blame for her current or past discomfort.)
So, she treats him shabbily, or goes out of her way to cause him discomfort. While this is sad, it is also a common phase MANY people go through. And sometimes this phase can last years. So, when we look at her through the eyes of her ex-, sure, she looks flighty, crazy, vengeful, unstable, etc. But she may be stable and wonderful to everyone but the ex-. And she'll probably get over it, eventually. Now, this doesn't explain even a majority of the people you describe, but it is a significant sub-set, I feel.
Now, if ALL his exes are delusional, demented, unstable and/or vengeful, what (who) is the common factor here? That certainly bears taking into consideration, too. Does he CAUSE this behavior? Or is he just drawn to screwed up women? We men see it all the time in women. We think, "Why on earth would you go out with that loser, when you are such a great woman?" But she does, over and over again. Some women go for the loser. Some go for the bad boy. Some go for the 'project' they think they can fix.....
Oh, yeah. Sorry you had such awful experiences, but they're par for the course around here. Walk in to any contact with antennae raised to the full, and as soon as a red flag appears, a sense that something is wrong--get the h**k out of there pronto. That saves a lotta, lotta, lotta grief.
Quoting LaNegrita12:
Happy Seis de Mayo LOL
I just had to put finger to key to note ........
My recent observations..
I have noticed that men with means have an attraction to unstable women. Ok yes, I thought " oh yeah... sure she's a nut since you've divorced her." but I noticed also that they have the same characteristics. Either men, over the years, have described their past lady friends or I have observed them myself. Speaking VERY GENERALLY, the majority of the ladies are flighty, argumentative, moody or just have an all around bad humor. Then I get to either hear or see these men tap dance around trying to please them. Now it could be just the types of men that I attract or what have you but today at brunch I made mention of this to a guy friend and he agreed that he had thought the same thing.
Could it be that I am too normal? Since I don't have wide mood swings and stay positive I'm just too boring? And if its just the men blowing smoke, why do SO MANY put something about wanting a mentally and emotionally stable woman in their profiles? Where there's smoke there's fire ladies.
Next, I was very put off by a phone call from a man that I thought was a pretty decent gent. In the midst of the laughter he asks," So what makes you think you deserve a good life?" What? I thought he meant something like.. what are you doing to attract good into your life..or do you pay it forward? Something.... ANYTHING other than where he was going. Like.. WHY DO I THINK I DESERVE A MAN WITH MORE THAN 2 QUARTERS TO RUB TOGETHER?
I was FLOORED. Ok, let's see... my life, the literally 1000s of people I have helped over the years, the fact that I am doing my own thing educationally and career wise and hell, I can bring more to the table than just a napkin. Seriously? Needless to say, the conversation was over. I just didn't feel like going through all that.
And lastly.. I date men at least 15+ my senior. It's what I prefer. So an honest question would be "Why?" Ok I don't have a problem with fielding that question. It is legit. "Even why this site?" Not a problem. But last night the end all and be all of Unwrapping Nasty occured.
I had a late night conversation with a gent that I considered to have the makings of a friend. I should have hung up when I heard him listening to Cee Lo Green's "*uck You".
I didn't. He then proceeded to tell me about a 25 YO lady in CA that was blowing smoke up his butt. He was hurt I think and was kinda stuck on the whole gold digger aspect of the whole thing. Ok fine. But then it turned to me. There were questions about possibly people looking at us when we're together because of the racial and age divide. And then, what I thought about the car he drove. I didn't have any thoughts on the matter. When he heard this ... he came undone.
I'm sure we all have had instances where you're chatting with someone and think "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" It goes both ways. Here's a little bit of advice. If the person Unwraps Nasty.. don't sick around for the encore.
I always say, "If it looks weird, I walk."
Have a great week sweerthearts!!!
Quoting LaNegrita12:
Happy Seis de Mayo LOL
I just had to put finger to key to note ........
My recent observations..
I have noticed that men with means have an attraction to unstable women. Ok yes, I thought " oh yeah... sure she's a nut since you've divorced her." but I noticed also that they have the same characteristics. Either men, over the years, have described their past lady friends or I have observed them myself. Speaking VERY GENERALLY, the majority of the ladies are flighty, argumentative, moody or just have an all around bad humor. Then I get to either hear or see these men tap dance around trying to please them. Now it could be just the types of men that I attract or what have you but today at brunch I made mention of this to a guy friend and he agreed that he had thought the same thing.
Could it be that I am too normal? Since I don't have wide mood swings and stay positive I'm just too boring? And if its just the men blowing smoke, why do SO MANY put something about wanting a mentally and emotionally stable woman in their profiles? Where there's smoke there's fire ladies.
Next, I was very put off by a phone call from a man that I thought was a pretty decent gent. In the midst of the laughter he asks," So what makes you think you deserve a good life?" What? I thought he meant something like.. what are you doing to attract good into your life..or do you pay it forward? Something.... ANYTHING other than where he was going. Like.. WHY DO I THINK I DESERVE A MAN WITH MORE THAN 2 QUARTERS TO RUB TOGETHER?
I was FLOORED. Ok, let's see... my life, the literally 1000s of people I have helped over the years, the fact that I am doing my own thing educationally and career wise and hell, I can bring more to the table than just a napkin. Seriously? Needless to say, the conversation was over. I just didn't feel like going through all that.
And lastly.. I date men at least 15+ my senior. It's what I prefer. So an honest question would be "Why?" Ok I don't have a problem with fielding that question. It is legit. "Even why this site?" Not a problem. But last night the end all and be all of Unwrapping Nasty occured.
I had a late night conversation with a gent that I considered to have the makings of a friend. I should have hung up when I heard him listening to Cee Lo Green's "*uck You".
I didn't. He then proceeded to tell me about a 25 YO lady in CA that was blowing smoke up his butt. He was hurt I think and was kinda stuck on the whole gold digger aspect of the whole thing. Ok fine. But then it turned to me. There were questions about possibly people looking at us when we're together because of the racial and age divide. And then, what I thought about the car he drove. I didn't have any thoughts on the matter. When he heard this ... he came undone.
I'm sure we all have had instances where you're chatting with someone and think "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" It goes both ways. Here's a little bit of advice. If the person Unwraps Nasty.. don't sick around for the encore.
I always say, "If it looks weird, I walk."
Have a great week sweerthearts!!!
Oh, yeah. Sorry you had such awful experiences, but they're par for the course around here. Walk in to any contact with antennae raised to the full, and as soon as a red flag appears, a sense that something is wrong--get the h**k out of there pronto. That saves a lotta, lotta, lotta grief.
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