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JulySummer
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Posted on Sun, Apr 27, 2014 19:08

It's hard to define loss; losing a penny that causes no concern. Is that a loss?

Not having to go to work. Is that a loss?

Putting down a loyal, loving, protective canine, who was steadfast, silent, and being devoured by a malignant tumor. Is that a loss?

Telling a parent it's okay to let go: I'll be okay; we are all okay. Is that loss?

Losing a spouse, a life-long companion for over 40 years. Is that loss?

 

In this throw-away society, it is hard to differentiate loss from gone, get another. Everything is replacable. Kids get new parents, toys are tossed and new ones bought, cars, homes, boats. It all changes, and change keeps life going.

 

If we believe we'll see lost loved ones, is it a loss when they die? Or, are we to continue until we die and join them? 



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rmac22
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Posted on Sat, May 03, 2014 08:56

 

Re -- Does the grieving for a particular anything end?

 

 

 

I could attempt to answer that question, but anything I can say in a few words would not be complete and would be way too personal. 

 

 

 

I would suggest you pick up a copy of Helen Fitzgerald’s book, The Mourning Handbook.  It covers all sorts of grief. 

 

 

 

There are many books on the subject, some good and some dismal.  Helen’s is one of the best, my opinion. 

 

 

 



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JulySummer
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Posted on Thu, May 01, 2014 17:15

Does the grieving for a particular anything end?

 

Easymantolove, Thank you for the story. I pick up pennies too, and I've seen others pass them by, as if a penny didn't have the value to merit ownership. It's all a matter of perspective, I suppose.

 

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 21:22

 

We all grieve differently, because we are all different.  The differences do not necessarily mean we loved less or more.  Some people do not cry at all. Others weep buckets.  Having known examples of both, I know that each were truly grieving.

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 20:55

easymantolove, I appreciate your detailed comment.  I don't disagree.  It is a matter of perspective.  I always pick up pennies if I see them.  One of the few times ones is paid for doing exercises.  For all of that I pick up nickels, dimes, and one hundred dollar bills.  Yes it has happened. 

 

Still, compared to the others she mentioned, it is a very very small loss.           



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JulySummer
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Posted on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 10:05

Thank you for commenting. 

Is loss only loss when it matters to the one seen as having lost something? For example, when a person, who doesn't like dogs, takes his to the animal shelter, and is happy the dog is out of his life, there is no sense of loss. Therefore, there is no loss, right? It's all a matter of thinking? or caring? or something? I know you'd probably say a person who doesn't like dogs shouldn't get any in the first place, and I agree. 

 

I'm just trying to get a handle on loss and the different variations it takes, so that competent people can matter-of-factly say that each person grieves differently. Is the difference because of the personal perception of loss and how the loss impacts the losing person's life?

 

 

 



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easymantolove
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Posted on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 09:56

Rmac,

 

I would have to argue that the loss of a penny as being "just a little loss" is a matter of perspective.

 

If you have no pennies, loosing the only one you have could be HUGE, especially when that penny buys a bowl of rice for your starving kids.

 

I'm reminded of this story (and there are dozens of versions around the Internet):

 

The Penny

 

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband’s employer’s home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

 

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so she as enjoying herself immensely.

 

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

 

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

 

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny?

 

Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

 

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

 

A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before!

 

What was the point of this?

 

“Look at it.” He said. “Read what it says” She read the words “United States of America.”

 

“No, not that; read further.”

 

“One cent?” “No, keep reading.”

 

“In God we Trust?” “Yes!” “And?”

 

“And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

 

After hearing that story I was out shopping and I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, “In God We Trust,” and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

 

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful!

 

And God is patient...

 

So, is loosing a penny such a small thing?



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rmac22
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Posted on Tue, Apr 29, 2014 20:02

The penny is just a little loss.  The others are huge.



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