I have been reading so many talking about how all turned wacky for them after this early morning Full Pink Moon and eclipse. Interestingly, before we can see clearly, we need to sort the distortion and things that are off center so we can really fix them within our mind, our heart and our soul. So messed up and muddled makes complete sense. But the true test comes if we can sort it all out, understand more clearly and then celebrate in the freedom in which this gives us.
My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/jolene1969
Men: because I look. Do you not realize that on this website on the bottom, if one goes to "recent activities" and clicks on MORE that anyone and everyone can see...you changing your profile and "suggesting" you look for one in a millon..or no players...yet below where you update this information on your profile, you also say and copy paste the same comment to 5 different women and/or like five different profile pctures. Do you really think this is not known? do you really think as a woman I dont notice the "same" comments and that it may seem rather desperate that you hope that if you LIKE ten different women's pictures that one may bite? be choosier please. It is always better to say what you mean and mean what you say. If not...dont wonder why people do not trust. after all... five different women cannot be "the one woman of your dreams" or "the profile that caught their attention"! please we are adults after all.
LIKING ten in a row and/or saying the same copy pasted comments really makes you seem desperate and a fool. well then again, there are those that may bite after all. I just have to wonder if those biters are worth it!
I love my slots. and I know that 90 percent of winning is understanding how the machine works. Dont be foolish. I may just take your jackpot as you walk away not understanding the machine. Take the time to ensure you say what you mean and mean what you say. Do NOT be offending if I dont respond to you, if you say the same line to five others. That is just plain ignorant to not have enough creativity as well to at least take the time to type dfifferent words. A player is always a player. a desperate one is always a desperate one. Be aware of what you convey. I suspect those that are ignorant of this feature, do not bother to read the blogs and participate. Their loss.
The Fantasy That There’s Always Someone Better Just Around the Corner...
The “constant search for something better” has to be the defining characteristic of our generation.
Striving to be with someone with bigger breasts, or more hair, or who has more money, more status, who gives you eight orgasms a week instead of five isn’t really going to lead to relationship satisfaction. No doubt when you do find these things, you start wondering if you can improve upon these too. Surfing around, collecting attention online and with multiple dating, and dipping in our pinky toe is making some people numb to forging genuine relationships.
Reminds me of a quote from Stephen Pinker in “How the Mind Works”-“Somewhere in the world of five billion people there lives the best-looking, richest, smartest, funniest, kindest person who would settle for you. But your dreamboat is a needle in a haystack, and you may die single if you insist on waiting for him or her to show up. Staying single has costs, such as loneliness, childlessness, and playing the dating game with all its awkward drinks and dinners (and sometimes breakfasts). At some point it pays to set up house with the best person you have found so far".
I’ve had many dating and relationship ‘surfers’ get in touch with me. They’ve spent their time worrying about making a wrong move and thinking, Maybe I can do better, and they haven’t really got anything to show for it, except for instead of being perennially dissatisfied with whether they can do better, they now feel dissatisfied with being dissatisfied, plus they become regretful and may even convince themselves that one of these people was ‘The One’. Throw in checking up on them on Facebook and cue envying the One That Got Away But Not Really.
‘People who are sensible about love are incapable of it’, wrote Douglas Yates. Even when courted by the perfect suitor, people are unable to will themselves to fall in love, often to the bewilderment of the matchmaker, the suitor and the person himself or herself. Instead it is a glance, a laugh, a manner that steals the heart…
Groucho Marx said that he would not belong to any club that would have him as a member. Usually people do not want any suitor who wants them too badly too early, because it shows that the suitor is desperate (so they should wait for someone better), and because it shows that the suitor’s ardor is too easily triggered (hence too easily triggerable by someone else). The contradiction of courtship – flaunt your desire while playing hard to get – comes from the two parts of romantic love: setting a minimal standard for candidates in the mate market, and capriciously committing body and soul to one of them.
The trouble with being perennially dissatisfied and shopping around for a better deal, is that not only does it get far too superficial but you’re just never really in anything long enough to have truly enjoyed it.
Ever tried to have a conversation with someone or do something where your mind is elsewhere, or you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, or evaluating and analyzing things? Your mind isn’t where it’s supposed to be – in the present.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about
~~Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Can you imagine a world where we have stepped beyond the need to classify things as “right” or “wrong” and instead live so completely from the heart that we are in total synchronization with the universe’s plan for our lives, even if the life we live goes completely against social conventions?
How much of the misery and despair around us results from people trying to be something they are not? How much of it stems from living up to our societies expectations of what we are supposed to be?
When you can finally be honest with yourself and admit that you are not living from your heart; that your life is not in alignment with your soul purpose; when you finally commit to living authentically and are open to what your heart is telling you, things will change. It can’t be helped.
As you listen to the promptings of your soul; as you learn to act on the instincts and impulses that it sends to guide you; you will find your life becoming richer; deeper; more authentic than anything you could possibly have imagined. But you will also find that many things that you thought were important; many things you thought you couldn’t do without will start to fall by the wayside. Desires, wishes, plans, ideas, beliefs, friendships, relationships; each and every one of them will be subjected to the same test of authenticity. Some will survive the test. Others will not.
And one day, one day you will be able to walk past the concepts of rightdoing and wrongdoing; smiling at them as you pass them by, and find yourself in that field where the person you have become will be able to lay itself down and bask in the wonder of what it truly means to live authentically.
I was listening to the radio just yesterday and they were talking about online dating. Apparently the statistics are that 70 percent of people talk and meet up with another person from a dating website without verifying who they are. Not even an attempt.
I know there are so many ways to verify and it is almost impossible to sometimes weed out those who scam or lie. I do like that this website at least tries to help with verifying age, income and pictures. Most do not.
I was doing some research on the subject and ran across a website, where they have all of the actual cases, of scammers as they are turned in. I was browsing through some of the many scams and thought to myself, as you must be too, I would never be scammed for money! No not me. Wow did I have egg on my face as I browsed the cases with pictures, numbers, stories, emails etc to find one profile of a huge scammer. I actually emailed this guy. He opened it but never responded. Probably because, even though he claimed to know Spanish, he did not. I had written the email in Spanish. The scammer was from India according to the data I read.
This must be a growing problem it seems to have websites to verify. The one I found, you could attach a photograph, a user name, an email, a phone number, a subject line, a profile, a subject brought up.
How do you verify? I have found Facebook helps greatly -one can see regular pictures and how a person is seen and viewed by their friends and family. As many of you also have done I am sure, I verify a phone number or email first. If you are part of that 70 percent please help me understand why?
I'm guessing that you are a caring, loving person that takes great pride in helping others... and that the people in your life admire you for this very much.
Now... I'd like to invite you to take the time to do something for YOURSELF.
You DESERVE to have a lasting, loving, secure connection with a man/woman... but unless you are in the right place emotionally, mentally and spiritually...it is highly unlikely that you will experience it.
Can you think of a time or experience with a man when you KNEW it was YOU who screwed up? Maybe you got a little freaked out or jealous over something small, and you lost control over your emotions and drove your someone away. Or perhaps you became paralyzed with fear that the guy/gal in your life wouldn’t like you, get tired of you, or that they leave you for someone else.
Or maybe you keep attracting the wrong men/women… people who want to be mothered, who want you to give up your friends and hobbies to be at their beck and call. Do you find yourself giving up your life just to make them happy, because you are afraid of the alternative?
Or perhaps you’ve gotten so sad about the lack of love in your life that you’ve begun to feel that you don’t deserve love from an exceptional person who truly cares about you.
A Man/Woman Can’t Fix Your Problem… Only YOU Can
When faced with these difficult realizations, what do you do?
Are you secretly waiting for the RIGHT PERSON to show up who will see past the fear, anxiety, and out of control emotions and instead love you for who you are?
That if you could just meet the right man/woman, all of your problems, fears, and disappointments would simply go away?
I think we’ve all felt this way at one time or another. It’s nice and comforting to think that one day we will all meet the love of our lives and live happily ever after. In fact, this fairytale has been burned into our minds since we were all very young. Only problem is… that’s not going to happen.
It is very dangerous to allow ourselves to believe this fairy tale, because it allows us to overlook the real source of the problem.
Your fear, anxiety, insecurity and out of control emotions won’t be SOLVED by a great man or a great woman. Many of us hold onto a subconscious belief that someone is going to come along and see us for who we truly are inside, recognize our beauty, and accept us wholly for who we are.
And while this does happen every once in awhile, the reality is if YOU aren’t the one who sees and recognizes it YOURSELF first, then the odds of someone else coming along and doing it are very small.
Just like you probably don’t want to be a “mother” to a man, man also doesn’t want a woman who is going to want a “daddy” to take care of her.
A real man… the kind of man I want to be with… is looking for a woman: a lover, a queen, a goddess.
Someone to love him and challenge him. Not someone who he has to try and “fix”.
In order to be that mature, attractive, confident woman/man, you need to learn how to take control of your emotions and break through the emotional and psychological barriers that are keeping you from a happy relationship with the man/woman of your dreams.
But dealing with our internal demons is some of the hardest work we can do. Our fears and insecurities are deep rooted, and often hidden from our own consciousness. I like to think of your own emotional and internal state as a kind of “magnet“ when it comes to your relationship.
When you don’t know what you want, what to do, and know what’s going on inside you… then you don’t have a very strong “charge“ to your own internal magnet. And you don’t have much ability to pull things towards you without a whole lot of work. But when you get yourself in “alignment“ and are in the right internal and emotional state, you start to create a very powerful change or force that instantly draws things to you.
You know that feeling when you’re “in the groove“ and things just come to you, one after the other? It’s like there’s a powerful force that is bringing happiness and good things into your life and your day. But it’s NOT an external force - it’s an internal force that you can magnify to draw happiness and love to you EVERY DAY.
My Challenge to you: Be a Goddess or a Goddess Magnet. You can very quickly “align“ with this powerful force inside you when it comes to true and lasting LOVE. Tap into and bring out the magical center of essence inside of you… giving yourself a powerful aura of CONFIDENCE and WARMTH that Mr. Right/ Mrs. Right can’t help but notice…
"The hardest thing is to live richly in the present without letting it be tainted out of fear for the future or regret for the past".-Sylvia Plath.
How do you manifest things into your life? Is there such a thing as an equation, I’m certainly still trying to figure it out. After reading E Squared by Pam Grout, I am trying and testing to see if it really is that simple…E-Squared is not the first book I’ve read that presents a case for thought creating reality—or for an abundant and benevolent universe. From this book, “This is what I want to know: is there really a force that has my best interests at heart, that can help me live my life, that can help me design my life—is this really true?” You jot down the time you begin the experiment and you give it forty-eight hours. You ask to be shown a clear, clear, clear, sign that the force really exists and for a blessing to go along with it as your proof. Then you wait and see what happens."
"You don't have the luxury of negative thought; of listening to the lies we so often tell ourselves; of being talked out of success by your fears."- Christina Applegate
When it comes to attracting things that seem impossible (love, success, abundance, health or even a miracle), I think you just need to put your doubt aside and just decide to believe. I’m not saying it’s easy. I still haven’t been able to do it in some areas of my life.
Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.
So how do you squeeze out doubt? I think you squeeze it out by smiling and by believing yourself. We all must recognize doubt for what it is: A wasteful luxury.
A week ago for me, it was a difficult day. I suppose all of us are allowed a dark day from time to time. It can only serve to remind us of and to appreciate the "light" days to come.
I sat here in my angst, feeling so alone. Proverbially speaking, "this too shall pass", was not working for me. I sat here on the floor as I do many days, looking at my computer. I closed my eyes, fighting back the overwhelming emotions and fighting back the tears. I should know better, that we are never alone. I encourage and help others each day and remind them of this fact. I felt like a hypocrite. I forced myself to open my eyes, and cowboy up (as one of my great friends always likes to say). To my amazement, when I opened my eyes, the room was filled with angels. They were eight rows deep, spanning the entire room. Then, it was the moment I was able to simply weep and say thanks. I am not alone. Thanks for the reminder.
Feeling alone. Why do people have to feel this way? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them craving connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put here just to nourish our loneliness?
The more I have experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I have realized how necessary these feelings are. It’s good for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is all about.
So without showing my age too much, here are the great lyrics from a song from the Breakfast Club:
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one"-Eleanor Roosevelt. Know your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths and achievements, and learn to love yourself for both.
"The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself" - Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
The biggest struggle in life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults and imperfections. Many of us were raised by parents who were themselves victims - who were not taught to see their own worth, or who were not really seen by their own parents. Our grandparents generation faced massive trauma and upheaval due to the Second World War and the Great Depression. The focus sometimes was on survival and minimizing the damage, rather than on love, appreciation and intimacy. Individuals and families today face the challenges of losing jobs, longer working hours, living paycheck to paycheck and general global economic uncertainty. These stresses can beat us down, or make us build walls around ourselves that are so dense that even our dearest friends, partners, spouses and children can't get in. Yet, there is another way.
When we have the courage to let the walls down - to know and embrace ourselves, despite our human failings, we also open the door to connecting in a more caring, empathetic, intimate way with the ones we love and with all living beings. Our brains are wired for survival, but also for empathy. We have mirror neurons that fire when we see other people's pain. Let us learn to love ourselves so we can be more open and compassionate to others, and so we can take down the walls that limit who we can be and what we can contribute to the WORLD.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We can talk about love and write a thousand books about it, but love will be completely different for each of us because we have to experience love. Love is not about concepts; love is about action. Love in action can only produce happiness".-Don Miguel Ruiz.
Many times it is tempting to think of love as a feeling that inspires us to act in loving ways. However, the problem that comes with this is that we then feel that when we aren't feeling loving we can't, won't or don't have to, act in loving ways. Obviously, this is problematic because there will be times that you don't feel loving. There will be times in your life that you will feel that you have a right to be angry, that other people don't deserve your love and that you are doing everything and the other person isn't doing enough for you. When you feel that you have a right to be upset, you are saying that you are a victim. When you say that there are people who don't deserve your love, you are, in fact saying that you aren't deserving of love.
Loving another person isn’t easy, and it can’t be based on feelings or emotions that fluctuate like the weather. Choose actions that show your love, and make the decision to do it every day.
Recently, I was on a date. It was a picnic on a boat. I helped, him untie the boat, fix then attatch the tarp, and later took on the task of putting oil in the engine. I came prepared with everything for the picnic and even furnished out of my large bag, things he had not thought of. He looked at me and said "you will make a great wife to someone someday!". I am not sure if that was an insult or something to be flattered by.
I dated a man who was very tongue in cheek about it telling me I was way too easy and I could be taken advantage of (nice girl syndrome). anyway... he at first mentioned he liked having me on his priority list. But 5 weeks later he brought up "the talk" because he was wondering if he should have one basket or several. (women). This blew me away entirely. But he still called each day and several times! He found himself slapping his forehead when he would call me to relay some great news in his life or some worry. His sons, his customers, his friends and even his ex wife wanted me around constantly. I walked away as I was putting more work into helping him with his "pains" and his past. I never demanded anything from him yet he disrespected me. Today I see that what he was doing and saying was to help him stay emotionally protected.
I've realized something important recently. After spending tons of time thinking about how men and women experience love and relationships differently, and reading hundreds of books and articles on how the human mind works and our "inner-psychology," I've come across something fascinating.
Each of us has a system of beliefs or "maps" of the world that we use to organize our experience and make meaning out of what happens around us.
I believe that lots of women have a unique set of these beliefs that I call their "Emotional Love Map". It's really just a fancy name for the pictures and expectations in your mind that create the beliefs about how your love life and relationship should look and FEEL.
Here's where it gets really interesting...
Men and their natural or default "emotional states" can quickly make women feel frustrated and hopeless about finding true and lasting love in their life. Unfortunately, lots of men play the role of the unavailable man. Some play it through a large portion of their single lives.
Because a lot of the behavior, communication, and beliefs that men have don't match up with the "Emotional Love Map" of the woman they're with. Although I do admit, I would say there were a few relationships where my emotions/attitude matched the men being described as “emotionally unavailable.” As a woman, I try intentionally not to criticize the men I am with and take what they are willing to give me without demands. Apparently this is setting me up for a total lack of effort, instead of appreciation and gratitude that I let them be themselves. I admit, that’s consistent with my personal experience. How do I let them know I deserve more without coming across as too critical of them?
I am finding more and more men it seems, saying they are available and yet they really are not. Is it for protection of getting hurt? Is it because you dare not take a risk? I tend to think men and women look for basically the same things in life. I suppose how we get there is quite different.
Let's Give Chivalry Another Chance. It's been unfairly maligned as sexist, but women and men alike would benefit from bringing it back.
Take the Titanic for a history lesson: Three-quarters of the women on the ship survived; over three quarters of the men, by contrast, died. In Washington DC, there is a memorial to these men. The inscription on it reads: "To the brave men who perished in the wreck of the Titanic...They gave their lives that women and children might be saved."
About a year ago, a group of today's men were tested the way that the men on board the Titanic were. When the cruise ship Costa Concordia hit a rock and capsized off the coast of Isola del Giglio, Tuscany, last January, men pushed women and children out of the way to save themselves. This contrast is indicative of a larger trend—the decline of chivalry and the rise of boorish behavior among men. Chivalrous behavior is benevolent because it flatters women and leads to their preferential treatment. But it is sexist because it relies on the "gendered premise" that women are weak and in need of protection while men are strong. Perhaps because of women's ambivalence about chivalry, men have grown confused about how to treat women. Will holding doors open for them or paying for the first date be interpreted as sexist? Does carrying their groceries imply they're weak? The breakdown in the old rules, which at one extreme has given rise to the hookup culture, has killed dating and is leaving a lot of well-meaning men and women at a loss.
I believe that chivalry provides the positive framework to maximize the overall happiness of men and women. Most women, want to be treated like ladies. Chivalry is about respect. It is about not harming or hurting others, especially those who are more vulnerable than you. It is about putting other people first and serving others often in a heroic or courageous manner. It is about being polite and courteous.
Women, want to be treated like ladies. Chivalry is about respect. It is about not harming or hurting others, especially those who are more vulnerable than you. It is about putting other people first and serving others often in a heroic or courageous manner. It is about being polite and courteous.
On the flipside, why should women NOT also be expected to give of themselves? To take care of their man? To be more old fashioned and to give more to their man than just "looks". What do you think?
“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”
― Gabriel García Márquez
"Ninguna persona merece tus lágrimas, y quien la merezca no te hará llorar."
“He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
"los seres humanos no nacen para siempre el día en que sus madres los alumbran, sino que la vida los obliga otra vez y muchas veces a parirse a sí mismos".
Lovely words RIP Que Dios lo Bendiga en su camino al Cielo
“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo
Vulnerability is the doorway to love, and gives us access to true strength. For many of us, self-protective armor is usually unconsciously erected at a young age. Although we think it will help us, it is actually the cause of much of our adult suffering, because it seems to separate us from the very love we desire. Awareness of it is a big step toward freedom.
The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.
I’ve discovered that letting go of self-armoring is necessary for happiness and well-being. Usually we're trained to think that to be open and vulnerable is a weakness, but it is actually just the opposite. When we open and surrender to the love within, we have access to the true strength of Spirit
“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.”
― Peter Hamilton
Some ignoramus (one of my personal favorite words) said, "Ignorance is bliss." No it's not. "Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is poverty, tragedy, illness, and devastation. What you don't know will hurt you. (Jim Rohn)"
I was making some lists for myself today and here they are-I encourage YOU to make your own lists:
Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:
“I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; we’re actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that we’re suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!”
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” - Alice Walker
While it's clear that this quote was written referring to activism in both gender and racial sectors, it can also be interpreted as a lesson for everyday living.
When we are more invested in the opinions and approval of others we give away our personal power. When we put more value in the needs of others than in our own needs we give away our personal power.
We can give away our personal power easily and in small ways that we might not even notice or think don’t really matter. The freedom to live our life to it’s full potential is not something that exists “out there”. Our freedom lies in the everyday moments of our life and in the tiny choices we make with each of these moments.
So, I’d like to challenge you this week to consider:
Think about something in your life that is currently upsetting you. What role does another person or people have in contributing to this negative feeling? Consider how in holding others responsible we are sacrificing our own personal freedom.
There are so many moments in our lives that we take for granted. Wasted moments. I don’t believe that in most instances this is done on purpose. Rather, we get so caught up in the every day tasks of life that we find ourselves “too busy” for anything else. We waste so much time on things, that in the grand scheme of things, really don’t matter all that much.
Don’t be “too busy” to love and to cherish others. Take hold of the opportunities you are given, no matter how big or small, because once a moment has passed, it is gone forever.
Truth be told, the most important decision you will ever make is what you do with the time that is given to you. So let’s revisit the question: What do you need to stop wasting time on?
Recently, situations in my life forced me to take a good hard look at this word: FAITH. Sometimes until we are faced with no options except putting into action and trusting that we can really experience the power "faith" has in our life.
Having faith means having the intelligent ability to know how to use the power of positive thinking to help oneself and understanding its limitations on the real world. The basis of Biblical faith is in accepting and putting into practice the promises of God. Faith is accepting what God has said in His word. When true faith is present action will be the result. In other words faith if real will produce action.
Two words are associated with faith which are "belief and trust." They can not be separated.
Belief and Trust are two words that define what faith is.
Belief is an acceptance of the truth. Trust is an action and result of belief.
Paul Harvey said, "If you don't live it you don't believe it."
You cannot separate these three words. They are totally interdependent on each other.
I challenge you to truly put to test this little word -FAITH- and experience the wonder of its greatness.
Therefore, be steadfast, immovable ... To be steadfast and unmovable is to be spiritually grounded. A steadfast person knows what he believes and cannot be “tossed" back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind. If we are not diligent in our study and meditation of truth, we are vulnerable to error. It is also very unwise to take a fragment of truth and treat it as if it were the whole thing.
I am human, and fail so often in this area. But I will strive to live the Truth.