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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sat, May 18, 2013 19:13

With the recent blogs regarding WHAT men and women are SEEKING with online dating, I thought I would share a little COMMON SENSE approach versus research. 

 

As a former advertising executive, I will stake this claim...

 

One doesn't need statistics, a degree, or a background in advertising to figure these things out. Stats are often skewed, as many people lie on the questionnaires as well as lie to themselves about what they seek.  Many people, as we have witnessed in our experience, don't appear to know WHAT or WHOM they seek, while there are those who are very self-aware of their desires due to their experiences. These self aware individuals might be considered "fault finders" by the insecure or negative daters because they reject someone due to a personality or physical attribute they do not seek. In reality, they know this aspect of the individual will NOT suit their needs, so they weed them out.  

 

Here's some EASY, COMMON SENSE TIPS from an ADVERTISING perspective.

 

WOMEN:

 

MEN ARE VISUAL CREATURES... especially at first viewing. (Regardless of how much we want to "make them" admire our minds. LOL)  They do not turn their heads on the street and think, "WOW! I sure bet that woman is SMART! I want to meet her!"       

 

 POST SEVERAL DECENT PHOTOS OF YOURSELF MAKING CERTAIN THEY ARE AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NOW and reveal your personality! I do NOT recommend tons of "Glamour" shots, as he may be disappointed when you meet. Most of us do not look like a Glamour shot every day! You also need a couple of photos to show your "figure" as well. This does not mean everyone needs to throw on a a bikini. It means make sure you have a couple of RECENT FULL LENGTH SHOTS to display your body size and type! It has been my personal experience with over 13 years of on/off online dating, WEIGHT has been the biggest issue for men. Use FACIAL SHOTS ONLY w/ NO SHADES, etc. for your INITIAL profile photo! This allows them to see your FACE, versus those who put far away pictures when they peruse profiles by the hundreds! If they can't see you well, they are NOT likely to click on you. There are too many other women. (or men) 

 

If I had a dollar for every man who has told me they have met numerous women who were 20/30 lbs heavier than their photos suggested, I'd have a bank full of money. Many men have told me numerous women have used old photos and they did not even recognize them when they met! 

 

This is FRAUDULENT advertising and you do all women a disservice when you do this! IT'S DECEITFUL AND IT'S A LIE! 

 

And speaking of LYING... I advise everyone STOP putting you are many years younger than you are for SEVERAL reasons.

 

1)  Guess what? Chances are, YOU LOOK YOUR AGE, (or close to it) regardless what you think.  

 

2) Your lack of honesty and justifying it by saying you think men will not pull up your profile, only confirms your own lack of maturity with dating as well as your own insecurities. This deceitful  behavior is a reflection on YOU, not men. 

 

3) Men who are SERIOUS daters, seeking a GENUINE CONNECTION, may look at women a bit younger, and even "look" at women MUCH younger... Because THAT'S WHAT MEN DO... THEY LOOK! But SERIOUS MEN SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP also LOOK AT WOMEN THEIR AGE!  

 

4) If men DON'T look at women THEIR own age, they are more likely than anyone else you date to scoop you liars up and use you, and then toss you to the curb when they are done. And WHY?  Because they WANT SOMEONE YOUNGER and never respected you for lying to them!

 

5) The most VITAL reason to be truthful? Men seeking a genuine connection "require" AND "deserve," .....................HONESTY! 

 

Lastly, DATE YOUR PHOTOS!! (Men AND Women!) 

 

MEN: 

 

If you do not wish to have a woman salivating over your "toys" versus you, and you complain of Gold Diggers? STOP POSTING YOURSELF ON YOUR YACHT while standing 100 feet from the camera in your shades where we can't see your face! And if you don't want a woman to ogle over your money, why is every picture posed with some exuberant $$$ toy! This is akin to a woman only posing in her bikini saying, "I just can't understand why he can't see I'm also smart!" 

 

UH..... DUH???????? 

 

Further, I have met men who have grossly lied about their age and placed very old photos on their profile without displaying the "REAL" them. They were heavier, had no hair, (or very little,) and looked far older than they portrayed.  So know this men....... 

 

While I understand your dilemma with women, I want you to know, there ARE women like me who DESPISE the liars on both sides of this "FRAUDULENT FENCE!" 

 

Every party involved in "FRAUDULENT CONDUCT"  with online dating is partially responsible for the "Lying Stigma" that goes along with it. So you women that complain because a man fudges his income? Suck it up sweetie if you are one of those who "think" you look soooo much younger than you really are and "fudge" by a few years on your profile. 

 

ALL THE LIARS ARE A DISGRACE! And one lie to one individual may mean little, but means a lot to someone else. IE: IF it is true men are less caring about a woman's income than women are of a man's. Well, what if the man uses the analogy of, "Well, I will just fudge the numbers here a little on my income. I LIVE like I make that much!" Well, that is THE SAME analogy as a woman fudging "a little" on her age justifying she looks younger than other women her age. 

 

If we start "justifying" our own lies to skew the numbers, we darn well can't judge a man when he skews HIS numbers. So everyone should JUST STOP LYING! 

 

In a sense, as ORLANDO states in another blog in the forum section, PEOPLE ATTRACT THEMSELVES. Well, they do on at least ONE LEVEL. Educated individuals seek a date or mate who appears educated. I've never dated a doctor, lawyer, or anyone with a higher education who desires a woman who fails to articulate herself well. Therefore, if you seek a man or woman with an education, your best hopes are to speak properly, write your profiles fluently, and portray the more refined elements of your personality.

 

"I ain't never met no cardiologist out there seeking Honey Boo Boo's family!" LOL...

 

And lastly, the attention you place in your profiles is indicative of the attention you will place on the individuals viewing them. If a man places little thought to his profile, I come to the conclusion this is about as little thought as he will place on me when dating. Your profile is an "advertisement" to find a mate; so take pride in it, and make it count! 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Thu, May 30, 2013 21:34

Thank you BEWELL,

 

I had a good time. A friend brought over champagne, white roses and dark chocolate to ring in midnight! 

 

But, I like to think of my birthday as being the entire MONTH!! I start celebrating on the 6th with my son's b-day... What a great young man he is! Then I got hair done and mani/pedi the next week, then my B-day and this week went to Ruth Chris's... ;)

 

My children called me and I must have spent 3 hours on the phone with them, so that was the real highlight! 

 

I hope your time away was enjoyable! Was it to see the grand-baby by chance? 


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BeWell
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Posted on Thu, May 30, 2013 19:59

Happy belated birthday, Hoping,

 

Been out of town and haven't visited the blogs in a while. May this be the most fantastic year for you ever....... BeWell



BeWell and wishing you only the best ! ..................;-D

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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Fri, May 24, 2013 05:20

Hi there LADIES,,,

 

My Birthday was great, thank you. Roses, chocolate and champagne from a friend to ring in Midnight. Then spent hours on phone yackin w/ kids on my b-day..  Turns out, Now that I am "old," my eldest daughter will be, well, how did she say it? Can't recall if it was worded, 

 

"Since I'm the young one," or "Now that you are old,"--- 

"kind of" the same difference.. LOL.. 

 

But, it was completed with....

 

"I'll have to find a rich man and buy you a tanning salon. You'd be really good at that, mom." 

 

I'm uncertain if my new "claim to fame" in the family is that now that since I am "above 45," I'm now old and worthless? Or if I just can't find a man? Or if I can now relish many old geezers with poor eyesight would still prefer to date my 20 year old daughter, or... 

if I should revel in the fact my daughter acknowledges I know a lot about tanning coffins, you know, since I've been using them longer than she's been alive... 

 

BUT I MAY HAVE FOUND A FITTING DATE! 

 

OH BOY!! Bwahahahahahaha!! ;)


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Curious2078
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Posted on Wed, May 22, 2013 16:30

Very well said, Hope.  Very well said indeed.  I just hope even 10% of MM subscribers take heed of what you've said. 

 

AND--HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRLFRIEND!!!!



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Windrider735
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Posted on Tue, May 21, 2013 18:08

Well put, Princess, and a happy belated birthday. It would have been on time if I could have gotten through.

 

I agree completely with you, especially your thoughts on men (and women) who don't take the time to express who they are as a person and what qualities they're looking for in a potential date/mate. There's nothing more irritating that to meet someone who is the total opposite of the portrait they painted in their profile. Honesty and integrity are things that head my own personal list. Much more important than looks, money, and expensive toys.

 

The 'Brats' said to tell you hello.


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Orlando__
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Posted on Sun, May 19, 2013 08:05

Thanks for the mention in your blog.  Very sweet!!!!



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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