Member's Blog > Removed_flagent32246_126986286's blogs > Should I have SEX on the first date if we have chemistry?
Should I have SEX on the first date if we have chemistry? Sort by:
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Posted on Mon, Feb 17, 2014 15:00

I have recently went on a first date that we had great chemistry and we were very attracted to each other. She had a few drinks and wanted to have sex with me that night. I told her we should wait. She was very angry and upset. What should I have done?


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Let us all find the right person that completes us.

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DLeeD20...
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Posted on Fri, Mar 28, 2014 04:11

Wow.  Doesn't sound like she was wrapped too tight.  Lol. You did the right thing, I think.  Later, she could have been scarier than that!



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Posted on Mon, Mar 10, 2014 15:25

Most women who would get angry like that probably have alot of unnecessary drama in their lives. Perhaps she was ovulating. Biological drives can be fierce. But there's a solution for that too. Body, mind, heart & soul, each of us is  too precious to be reckless.



**************** "A man chooses a great woman as part of a Spiritual journey to a higher level. A great woman is the inspiration. You can always see the character of the man by the woman he chooses." ~ John Dean "I must be a Mermaid for I love the deep water and dislike that which is shallow." -- Anais Nin

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leonicvir...
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Posted on Fri, Feb 28, 2014 09:20

OK.......

 

Let's go

Don't wantcha for the weekend
Don't wantcha for a night
I'm only interested if I can have you for life, yeah
Uh, I know I sound serious and baby I am
You're a fine piece of real estate
And I'm gonna get me some land

Oh yeah
So don't try to run, honey
Love can be fun
There's no need to be alone
When you find that someone

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha by the time I say "Go"
(I'm gonna getcha)
You'll never say "No"

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha it's a matter of fact
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha don'tcha worry 'bout that
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha bottom dollar in time
(I'm gonna getcha)
You're gonna be mine
(I'm gonna getcha)
Just like I should, I'll getcha good

Yeah, uh, uh
I've already planned it
Here's how it's gonna be
Uh, I'm gonna love you and
You're gonna fall in love with me

Yeah
So, don't try to run honey
Love can be fun
There's no need to be alone
When you find that someone

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha by the time I say "Go"
(I'm gonna getcha)
You'll never say "No"

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha it's a matter of fact
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha don'tcha worry 'bout that
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha bottom dollar in time
(I'm gonna getcha)
You're gonna be mine
(I'm gonna getcha)
Just like I should, I'll getcha good

Yeah, I'm gonna getcha baby
I'm gonna knock on wood
I'm gonna getcha somehow honey
Yeah, I'm gonna make it good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, yeah
So, don't try to run, honey
Love can be fun
There's no need to be alone
When you find that someone

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha by the time I say "Go"
(I'm gonna getcha)
You'll never say "No"

(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha it's a matter of fact
(I'm gonna getcha)
I'm gonna getcha don'tcha worry 'bout that
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can betcha bottom dollar in time
(I'm gonna getcha)
You're gonna be mine

Oh, I'm gonna getcha
I'm gonna getcha real good
Yeah, you can betcha
Oh, I'm gonna getcha
(I'm gonna getcha)
Just like I should, I'll getcha good
Oh, I'm gonna getcha good

http://youtu.be/Z3Pb3EJY5Qg



 



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Jenkne...
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Posted on Wed, Feb 26, 2014 15:21

Is anyone familiar with Steve Harvey's 90-day rule?  He says not to give the "cookie" for 90 days.  Some cynics may consider the cookie as some kind of bargaining tool while others realize it takes time to get to know someone without certain activities complicating the process.  This is Steve Harvey's rule, I'm not implying one thing or the other, just an interesting point.  I think he offers some very practical advice but NINETY days can seem like a long time to a lot of people, he does make you think though!!



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brew4...
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Posted on Tue, Feb 25, 2014 11:14

Good for you Flagent, had the same thing happen to me when I first started dating after my divorce...she too was very upset but I knew that although she was very nice and pretty that I did not have feeling for her more then friendship, she offered I politely told her I was not ready, and she was mad... sounds like you like her so just stay the course and if she truely cares for you then it will work out. Best of luck to you and just be the good guy you seem to be.



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Jenkne...
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Posted on Tue, Feb 25, 2014 01:07

Quoting 3345roc:

Really obscure?  I'll try to be more explicit.  I know you're a big BO fan and  I thought the skull looked like him without the big ears.  That is a skull, right?



Yes Roc, to me and apparently some others, it looks like a skull. I should have just left your comment alone.  It was an analogy of how someone may appear one way and then you get up close and you see something else. Thank-you for the reply.

 

​***************************************************************************************​

 

 

By the way, if anyone cares, we are allowed to judge a certain way according to the bible. I'm no bible thumper but a lot of people manage to get that judging thing entirely wrong, so since I just read someone's misguided interpretation. Here it an easy way to think of judging. We judge for our safety, for protection in other ways,etc.,etc..

 

 

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John 7:24

King James Version (KJV)

24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.



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StunningYetShy... Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Feb 25, 2014 00:32

Quoting flagent32246:

I have recently went on a first date that we had great chemistry and we were very attracted to each other. She had a few drinks and wanted to have sex with me that night. I told her we should wait. She was very angry and upset. What should I have done?



God forgive your prejudgements. I have always intimately been involved with my long term relationships on the second time of meeting. We stayed together for 3.5 years. While my previous relationship lasted 8 years and we have two beautiful children. A women finding a man highly attractive and both feeling chemistry, passion and attraction towards one another will only make their love stronger. People who make such judgements are the ones who are envious, jealous and don't know how to love or be kind towards others. Affection and love is important. Being sensual and caring while allowing the opportunity for bonding is important to start something amazing. Some have never been in love.  Don't listen to women with a negative aurora. If a women isn't interested in you, they wouldn't sleep with you, unless a propstitue, which I've been hearing by friends many have been browsing this site and e-mailing with ridiculous suggestions and making the good women look bad. Obviously this wasn't an unsolicitied connection according to your post. 



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Posted on Tue, Feb 25, 2014 00:27

Let's put this on a different light: you dated her for a while (like 3 weeks)... the chemistry is great. You are ready for the next thing... sex....

You plan something romantic... and sweet... and then... it happened....

 

Then you realized... she is bad! Really bad in bed!

 

Now... how would you feel? 

Would you feel that you have wasted all that time?

Would you try to improve sex by teaching her how to be better?

Would you ignore it and continue to dig deeper into the relationship...because afterall... she is perfect in every ways... except that... and sex isn't the most important thing in the relationship?

 

Ok, i get the drunk part, too much to drink, yes you should say no. 

i have to question whether her temper is due to alcohol as well or other reasons.

 

I don't understand the no sex on first date rule... i don't understand a lot of conventional ideas... they don't make sense to me.

 

If dating is all about getting to know each other, then isn't sex the most important part of the date? 

Realistically... a relationship between a male and female in this way... is about sex... isn't it?

Sure we use word like chemistry... but that's a euphanism isn't it?

I mean how many relationships have been broken because of sex?

 

If dating is about getting to know each other... then why do they have rules against discussing some taboo topics on first date? 

No topics should be considered taboo if you're trying to get to know each other right?

Every topics should be discuessed, analyzed, understood, and know how each person stand on every single issues if possible. 

I mean if you're gonna set a purpose(getting to know each other) to some idea (dating)... then why create contradictions around it with these illogical rules? 

 

I swear sometimes dating is like the English language.

 

I can honestly say... that i have never gone on a date... because i have never followed any of these rules. 

 

 



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Livnl...
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Posted on Mon, Feb 24, 2014 15:23

You did the right thing. I think Mtnsunny puts it perfectly - I couldn't add a word to her analysis if I tried.

 

OK - now to be nasty, if I were you and I was a nasty, randy guy - I'll triple up protection and plunder the goods and walk! Oh well, but I'm not a nasty, randy guy...lol.

 

You did the right thing, and in my humble opinion, if I were you I won't even consider a second date with her, if a lasting and respectful relationship is what you are looking for. For a fling, she's a great candidate.

 

Good luck.



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Jenkne...
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Posted on Sat, Feb 22, 2014 20:12

I would judge the whole thing from start to finish, pick it apart , analyze the hell out of it then probably run for the hills!! lol

 

Upon first looking, one may see a rose but look closely and you may see something altogether scary.  

 

 

PS I should be getting paid for this stuff :)

 

 


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Posted on Sat, Feb 22, 2014 03:16

I agree. I did not judge her. I think her anger was from the rejection.



Let us all find the right person that completes us.

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StunningYetShy... Recommended
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Posted on Thu, Feb 20, 2014 12:35

I read a few replies, and I wouldn't judge a person based on what chemistry was involved between you. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't judge her because she felt an attraction to you.



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Jenkne...
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Posted on Thu, Feb 20, 2014 11:22

Quoting Dakota35:

Sounds like you found a quality woman.  You should marry her, but just don't let her drink with your buddies.

 

 



Who knows, she may not be able to be drinking around his female friends either!!  Times have changed.



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Jenkne...
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Posted on Wed, Feb 19, 2014 19:58

Yes, as someone else typed already, you did the right thing. I would have to be concerned that she does this on most of her first dates. Were you really different than anyone else? No offense to you but it's something to think about.



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Anya...
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Posted on Wed, Feb 19, 2014 14:29

i agree.good job



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rmac...
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Posted on Wed, Feb 19, 2014 07:12

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 

 

 

RMac



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StunningYetShy... Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Feb 18, 2014 21:21

Having sex is easy, but waiting to find the right person with mutual interest and a deep level of connection is far more difficult, appreciated and respected in my humble opinion. 



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Gray...
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Posted on Tue, Feb 18, 2014 09:02

I definately think you did the right thing.   If you really like her and respect her then its worth a sober head to move to the next step.  As for her being "mad" at you, she could've assumed that you were not attracted to her and you were politely attempting to tell her you were not interested...as long as you explain that you are attracted to her and you would rather wait, things should be fine.  Good Luck!



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NGL20...
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Posted on Tue, Feb 18, 2014 05:53

@Flag, you wrote,". She had a few drinks and wanted to have sex with me that night. I told her we should wait. She was very angry and upset."    of course she was, she felt you rejected her ! no one likes that feeling.

 

I'm not saying you did the wrong thing. You did what you felt was right, so it was the right thing to do.



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