Quoting fifficus:

Just a very short one today but...hey squirrelly, I'm here!! :)¿
Just came back from a gallery opening and one of the ladies there did something similar as to what happened to me some time back - just one of my (many - I may add!) embarrassing moments.
I have decided to share my most innocent one with you (It does get worse - a lot!) and hopefully get some feedback from others who have also done stupid things, so at least I can make myself feel a bit better that I am not the only one that is a walking disaster! ¿
....We are invited to a function where everything with rank and name is invited. Panic!!! I have nothing to wear! (Of course I have, but I can't possibly wear the same thing twice now can I? - there are lots of important people there, I have to try and impress and women talk for crying out loud!) So, off I go and manage to track down a smart silky number consisting of skirt and blouse (very versatile and can be mixed and matched to make another outfit!) - now please do not think that this was an easy task! I lived in the country side and to find ANYTHING that can pass as a cocktail dress (Yes, strict dress code!) in the little boutiques usually looked as if it was designed for funerals, child christenings or weddings! I was extremely lucky to find something I liked in the first place I looked - plus to get something in silk, well god must have really smiled on me that day! I looove silk! Such a wonderful light material that flows beautifully and is perfect in any climate.
Ok, so the panic is over, the dress question sorted, I've done my war paint (well lip stick and mascara anyway - for anything more elaborate I would need to enroll in lessons - no time!) we head out and its the usual small talk coupled with the inevitable "May I introduce you..blah, blah, blah,... Smiles (false and real) everywhere - waiters walking around with glasses of Champagne and canapes and I don't know how I manage it, but every time I take a bite of something, I can guarantee that someone will ask me a question just at that precise moment! I will always admire those who never seem to have this problem and can make it through the entire night without trying to chew frantically, smiling apologetically and waving their hands across their mouths to gain time to swallow so they can answer the question. Why does nobody teach you this as a child? Should be part of the curriculum!
As the drinks flow and everyone loosens up a bit, I follow the call of nature. Unfortunately its a loong walk from the bathrooms back to the lounge, across the dance floor and pass the tables to the bar where we took position. Even though I don't drink much, I am fully aware that 1 or 2 glasses on me seem to have the same effect as an entire bottle to others! I was still in the safe zone drink wise but nevertheless had to carefully navigate my way back as it requires some concentration trying to walk gracefully and ladylike in high heels when you are not used to it. I walked along the corridor passing several people, taking the opportunity to stop and gather my strength to carry on the rest of the passage with a bit of small talk along the way. Then I made my way across the dance floor, successfully navigated my way pass the first table dishing out smiles to whoever was looking in my direction when someone I knew waived me over and involved me in a conversation. I have no recollection about the conversation (no I wasn't drunk - just happy that I still looked good and managed the long walk without looking like a stork in a salad or tripping myself up!) As I stood there with my back to the dance floor, hands on my hips (so it must have been something I feel passionate about!) ...I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and was faced with a woman who started stuttering at me. I smiled at her encouragingly to spit out whatever she wanted to say and she blushed and waved me to closer. I was slightly bemused by her strange behavior but of course I obliged... I bent forward and she cleared her throat and said "Mam, I don't know how to say this ...but ...ehm, you've got your dress tucked in your knickers! My smile vanished for a split second as I realized I'd been flashing the entire dance floor with my derriere for the last few minutes and god knows who else on my way back from the bathroom! Did I pass the chancellors wife? Wasn't my husbands boss behind me? Oh sweet Jesus! How much is showing? Hell, never mind, what knickers am I wearing? Did I opt for the sexy number or did I go for the Bridget Jones style arm pit warmers? How can I check, help, I can't remember for the life of me!
I decided to thank the woman with a reassuring smile¿for her bravery in¿coming over and telling me (well you have to give it to her, most would have just collapsed laughing and not said anything) ¿and quickly assessed my options.
Now do I go all the way back and flash my behind to the rest of the room as I leave or do I rectify my predicament on the spot? I opted for the 'on the spot' solution and felt the sexy underwear, phew! At least one good thing! Now the weight of my shoulders was lifted, I could relax and laugh about it with the others (No choice! It was the only thing to do to save face somewhat!) Had it been the Bridget Jones knickers I would have died and probably ordered a bottle of whiskey for myself!
Needless to say that I needed a drink after that and it all went downhill from there....forget too much champagne, walking in high heels, wearing mascara when you usually don't .. I ended up having a ball, thinking that I must look reasonably attractive after all to receive soo many smiling nods and looks from everyone ....when I realized on the next trip to the call of nature that I must have rubbed my eyes and now resembled a Panda bear with huge black smears around my eyes. If people smile at me now I become very suspicious of their motives and if there is a bathroom nearby you may see me disappear for a moment to check...
Well done Fiffi - never lose your personal style but.... at least I am consistent with it!¿
¿
¿
¿

Just a very short one today but...hey squirrelly, I'm here!! :)¿
Just came back from a gallery opening and one of the ladies there did something similar as to what happened to me some time back - just one of my (many - I may add!) embarrassing moments.
I have decided to share my most innocent one with you (It does get worse - a lot!) and hopefully get some feedback from others who have also done stupid things, so at least I can make myself feel a bit better that I am not the only one that is a walking disaster! ¿
....We are invited to a function where everything with rank and name is invited. Panic!!! I have nothing to wear! (Of course I have, but I can't possibly wear the same thing twice now can I? - there are lots of important people there, I have to try and impress and women talk for crying out loud!) So, off I go and manage to track down a smart silky number consisting of skirt and blouse (very versatile and can be mixed and matched to make another outfit!) - now please do not think that this was an easy task! I lived in the country side and to find ANYTHING that can pass as a cocktail dress (Yes, strict dress code!) in the little boutiques usually looked as if it was designed for funerals, child christenings or weddings! I was extremely lucky to find something I liked in the first place I looked - plus to get something in silk, well god must have really smiled on me that day! I looove silk! Such a wonderful light material that flows beautifully and is perfect in any climate.
Ok, so the panic is over, the dress question sorted, I've done my war paint (well lip stick and mascara anyway - for anything more elaborate I would need to enroll in lessons - no time!) we head out and its the usual small talk coupled with the inevitable "May I introduce you..blah, blah, blah,... Smiles (false and real) everywhere - waiters walking around with glasses of Champagne and canapes and I don't know how I manage it, but every time I take a bite of something, I can guarantee that someone will ask me a question just at that precise moment! I will always admire those who never seem to have this problem and can make it through the entire night without trying to chew frantically, smiling apologetically and waving their hands across their mouths to gain time to swallow so they can answer the question. Why does nobody teach you this as a child? Should be part of the curriculum!
As the drinks flow and everyone loosens up a bit, I follow the call of nature. Unfortunately its a loong walk from the bathrooms back to the lounge, across the dance floor and pass the tables to the bar where we took position. Even though I don't drink much, I am fully aware that 1 or 2 glasses on me seem to have the same effect as an entire bottle to others! I was still in the safe zone drink wise but nevertheless had to carefully navigate my way back as it requires some concentration trying to walk gracefully and ladylike in high heels when you are not used to it. I walked along the corridor passing several people, taking the opportunity to stop and gather my strength to carry on the rest of the passage with a bit of small talk along the way. Then I made my way across the dance floor, successfully navigated my way pass the first table dishing out smiles to whoever was looking in my direction when someone I knew waived me over and involved me in a conversation. I have no recollection about the conversation (no I wasn't drunk - just happy that I still looked good and managed the long walk without looking like a stork in a salad or tripping myself up!) As I stood there with my back to the dance floor, hands on my hips (so it must have been something I feel passionate about!) ...I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and was faced with a woman who started stuttering at me. I smiled at her encouragingly to spit out whatever she wanted to say and she blushed and waved me to closer. I was slightly bemused by her strange behavior but of course I obliged... I bent forward and she cleared her throat and said "Mam, I don't know how to say this ...but ...ehm, you've got your dress tucked in your knickers! My smile vanished for a split second as I realized I'd been flashing the entire dance floor with my derriere for the last few minutes and god knows who else on my way back from the bathroom! Did I pass the chancellors wife? Wasn't my husbands boss behind me? Oh sweet Jesus! How much is showing? Hell, never mind, what knickers am I wearing? Did I opt for the sexy number or did I go for the Bridget Jones style arm pit warmers? How can I check, help, I can't remember for the life of me!
I decided to thank the woman with a reassuring smile¿for her bravery in¿coming over and telling me (well you have to give it to her, most would have just collapsed laughing and not said anything) ¿and quickly assessed my options.
Now do I go all the way back and flash my behind to the rest of the room as I leave or do I rectify my predicament on the spot? I opted for the 'on the spot' solution and felt the sexy underwear, phew! At least one good thing! Now the weight of my shoulders was lifted, I could relax and laugh about it with the others (No choice! It was the only thing to do to save face somewhat!) Had it been the Bridget Jones knickers I would have died and probably ordered a bottle of whiskey for myself!
Needless to say that I needed a drink after that and it all went downhill from there....forget too much champagne, walking in high heels, wearing mascara when you usually don't .. I ended up having a ball, thinking that I must look reasonably attractive after all to receive soo many smiling nods and looks from everyone ....when I realized on the next trip to the call of nature that I must have rubbed my eyes and now resembled a Panda bear with huge black smears around my eyes. If people smile at me now I become very suspicious of their motives and if there is a bathroom nearby you may see me disappear for a moment to check...
Well done Fiffi - never lose your personal style but.... at least I am consistent with it!¿
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