No photo, they email you, you ask for their LinkedIn profile, no response and they still continue to email you scripted lines about how you may be the one for them. They send you a couple of lousy photos, tell you things about their family, job, divorce, but all still very vague information.
Should you waste your time emailing or cut to the chase and ask to talk on the phone?
What has been your experience? I hope the guys chime in here too.
No photo, they email you, you ask for their LinkedIn profile, no response and they still continue to email you scripted lines about how you may be the one for them. They send you a couple of lousy photos, tell you things about their family, job, divorce, but all still very vague information.
Should you waste your time emailing or cut to the chase and ask to talk on the phone?
What has been your experience? I hope the guys chime in here too.
It is a shame there are so many profiles on this site with no photos and just as bad, only 1 photo. It does take effort and risk to be here. Be safe this holdiay weekend. Look before you leap and be happy and content with yourself if you have any hesitations. Listen to your inner voice.
It is a shame there are so many profiles on this site with no photos and just as bad, only 1 photo. It does take effort and risk to be here.
Be safe this holdiay weekend. Look before you leap and be happy and content with yourself if you have any hesitations. Listen to your inner voice.
Dear , i understand concern with regard to provide right up front professional profile to stranger . Right here , i have got stalker , women who turned out to be mentally ill . Oh Lord it was quite a bit problem including police raport and a few letters to millioniare management to delete her profile , she was removed . Ican imagine how much trouble can get into attractive women who in good faith will give all the ID info out there . Please do not do that , wait , chat .. make a call , then why not .. there is nothing to hide ...Cheers ~~
Dear , i understand concern with regard to provide right up front professional profile to stranger . Right here , i have got stalker , women who turned out to be mentally ill . Oh Lord it was quite a bit problem including police raport and a few letters to millioniare management to delete her profile , she was removed . Ican imagine how much trouble can get into attractive women who in good faith will give all the ID info out there . Please do not do that , wait , chat .. make a call , then why not .. there is nothing to hide ...Cheers ~~
Great posts. Thank you everyone. I hope this information gets passed on and taken seriously. Trust me, I am listening and appreciate all the advice. Time to reflect. It has been 2 weeks back into the online dating world for me. Orlando's headline keeps ringing in my ears. Will someone please rescue me from this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great posts. Thank you everyone. I hope this information gets passed on and taken seriously. Trust me, I am listening and appreciate all the advice.
Time to reflect. It has been 2 weeks back into the online dating world for me. Orlando's headline keeps ringing in my ears. Will someone please rescue me from this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone who asks for a Linkedin profile before they'll "talk" to you through MM emails--no goodniks for sure. If information seems vague, raises red flags in your mind--drop 'em faster than you'd flick a tick off your neck. All obfuscaters are cheaters/liars/scammers--people to be eliminated from your list of possible romantic partners, or even possible friends, immediately if not sooner. I know that won't leave you many men to choose from [I've been on here for several years and the number of legit contacts I've had can be counted on less than one hand--and I'm not exactly ugly or otherwise a major turnoff for my age group], but the ones remaining will be the real deal.
Quoting Dmarie1956:
No photo, they email you, you ask for their LinkedIn profile, no response and they still continue to email you scripted lines about how you may be the one for them. They send you a couple of lousy photos, tell you things about their family, job, divorce, but all still very vague information.
Should you waste your time emailing or cut to the chase and ask to talk on the phone?
What has been your experience? I hope the guys chime in here too.
Quoting Dmarie1956:
No photo, they email you, you ask for their LinkedIn profile, no response and they still continue to email you scripted lines about how you may be the one for them. They send you a couple of lousy photos, tell you things about their family, job, divorce, but all still very vague information.
Should you waste your time emailing or cut to the chase and ask to talk on the phone?
What has been your experience? I hope the guys chime in here too.
Anyone who asks for a Linkedin profile before they'll "talk" to you through MM emails--no goodniks for sure. If information seems vague, raises red flags in your mind--drop 'em faster than you'd flick a tick off your neck. All obfuscaters are cheaters/liars/scammers--people to be eliminated from your list of possible romantic partners, or even possible friends, immediately if not sooner. I know that won't leave you many men to choose from [I've been on here for several years and the number of legit contacts I've had can be counted on less than one hand--and I'm not exactly ugly or otherwise a major turnoff for my age group], but the ones remaining will be the real deal.
No se sienta mal por no hablar ingles, aqui habemos muchas personas que hablan español (las oportunidades son para todos) de hecho usted encontrara aqui la mas amplia gama de paises, todas las personas estan buscando su media naranja (ya que el trabajo y el dia a dia no nos permite salir a encontarlos) Internet es una herramienta fabulosa.
Usted es una mujer atractiva y la admiro por estar aqui junto a todos nosotros buscando su alma gemela.
No se desanime y siga hablando español.......
Suerte
Francie
Ocaso01200,
No se sienta mal por no hablar ingles, aqui habemos muchas personas que hablan español (las oportunidades son para todos) de hecho usted encontrara aqui la mas amplia gama de paises, todas las personas estan buscando su media naranja (ya que el trabajo y el dia a dia no nos permite salir a encontarlos) Internet es una herramienta fabulosa.
Usted es una mujer atractiva y la admiro por estar aqui junto a todos nosotros buscando su alma gemela.
Webcam is mostly for "knowing they look like their picture" and watching "mannerisms."
HOWEVER... In using SKYPE... YAHOO.. etc.. Make certain you create an account WITHOUT YOUR REAL NAME.. should you use it for possible dates. STALKERS and FREAKS can come out of the woodwork and before you know it, you are infested with someone you do NOT want in your life.. who has access to tons of information about you.. I have not utilized my webcam much.. But I normally have spoken on phone quite some time to know we have a bit in common etc.. before meeting..
VIA phone.. Just make sure to BLOCK your phone number.. If a man cannot understand a woman's need for safety.. HE ISN'T REALLY A MAN! My last "flub" via phone? Guy seemed nice enough.. I gave him my number after one lunch date and many conversations. (another online site) Well.. he started calling me excessively.. like several occasions 13 times in one night! I then started listening to messages.. HE WAS DRUNK! Turns out the guy is a functional alcoholic!! His barrage of calls were so disturbing I started freaking out! He'd cal me slurring my name! I have him in my phone under STALKER! I have not heard from him in over a week now.. and am praying it is over! I threatened him with police involvement.. BUT .. guess what.. BY LAW.. the police cannot get "involved" so to speak, unless there is a "threat" made. YEP! Ppl can bug you all they want and you have little recourse unless you can prove you feel threatened.
SO I DON'T ADVISE ANY LADIES GIVE THEIR NUMBERS OUT TO ANY MAN THEY HAVE NOT MET IN PERSON AND SPENT ENOUGH TIME WITH TO KNOW THEM A LITTLE!
*67 (STAR 67) Then the phone number.. If calling long distance.. I believe you must "add the one" even should your cell add it normally.. B/C the *67 confuses the phone..
Use it ladies! That's what it's there for! And you men dating crazy women who stalk? TOO BAD! LOL.. Naw.. seriously.. I feel badly for you men too cuz what are you going to do???.. call and whine to cops.. "Janie's bugging me!" HaHaHa!
HI DMARIE..
Webcam is mostly for "knowing they look like their picture" and watching "mannerisms."
HOWEVER... In using SKYPE... YAHOO.. etc.. Make certain you create an account WITHOUT YOUR REAL NAME.. should you use it for possible dates. STALKERS and FREAKS can come out of the woodwork and before you know it, you are infested with someone you do NOT want in your life.. who has access to tons of information about you.. I have not utilized my webcam much.. But I normally have spoken on phone quite some time to know we have a bit in common etc.. before meeting..
VIA phone.. Just make sure to BLOCK your phone number.. If a man cannot understand a woman's need for safety.. HE ISN'T REALLY A MAN! My last "flub" via phone? Guy seemed nice enough.. I gave him my number after one lunch date and many conversations. (another online site) Well.. he started calling me excessively.. like several occasions 13 times in one night! I then started listening to messages.. HE WAS DRUNK! Turns out the guy is a functional alcoholic!! His barrage of calls were so disturbing I started freaking out! He'd cal me slurring my name! I have him in my phone under STALKER! I have not heard from him in over a week now.. and am praying it is over! I threatened him with police involvement.. BUT .. guess what.. BY LAW.. the police cannot get "involved" so to speak, unless there is a "threat" made. YEP! Ppl can bug you all they want and you have little recourse unless you can prove you feel threatened.
SO I DON'T ADVISE ANY LADIES GIVE THEIR NUMBERS OUT TO ANY MAN THEY HAVE NOT MET IN PERSON AND SPENT ENOUGH TIME WITH TO KNOW THEM A LITTLE!
*67 (STAR 67) Then the phone number.. If calling long distance.. I believe you must "add the one" even should your cell add it normally.. B/C the *67 confuses the phone..
Use it ladies! That's what it's there for! And you men dating crazy women who stalk? TOO BAD! LOL.. Naw.. seriously.. I feel badly for you men too cuz what are you going to do???.. call and whine to cops.. "Janie's bugging me!" HaHaHa!
Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. Online dating is not my preference, but as we all know, trying to find "the one" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
I did cut to the chase with Mr. Wonderful yesterday. Very kindly too, just on the off chance he was being genuine. Immediate silence. Have not heard from him since. Yay!
You mentioned using your webcam first before using your phone. I have Skype, but never use it. Do you use this first all the time?
Thanks again!
Dmarie
Hi Hoping4love,
Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. Online dating is not my preference, but as we all know, trying to find "the one" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
I did cut to the chase with Mr. Wonderful yesterday. Very kindly too, just on the off chance he was being genuine. Immediate silence. Have not heard from him since. Yay!
You mentioned using your webcam first before using your phone. I have Skype, but never use it. Do you use this first all the time?
I don't post a pic, but gladly send several, all dated, to anyone who asks. Anyone who won't give several good, current, candid shots, is either not real, or not really motivated to meet a great person.
And I don't do Link In, or Facebook apps, either, for that matter. I don't need to, and I don't want to.
But I am looking for one amazing woman, so I should be willing to rpovide plenty of personal data. Sure, be smart. Especially women, don't give out home addresses until a couple of in-person, neutral site dates. If either of you is traveling to meet, you should both have positive picture I. D. of the other. Even if meeting locally in a public place, before leaving there for a private place, be sure you have positive I.D. And be sure he knows you have texted that name to a friend.
TALK, to each other !! WEB CAM each other. If someone can't or won't do those things, at least to get to know each other, don't go any further. Duh, if he only gives you a cell number, and only talks during the day, he's married. Or will only text, and after the fact, and not talk. Be realistic, smart, and perceptive. If you ask a harmless question, and he or she is evasive, make note. If you ask her home address, SSN and bank account number, SHE should make note (and immediatley discontinue communication of any sort.) :):) But like it takes BEING a good neighbor to have a good heighbor, you have to BE real, to find real. If you are not willing to open yourself to another (a little at a time) you'll never find yourself inside another's heart.
(As a side note, sure, some guys just want you to go to web cam immediately because trhey want a peep show. But isn't it worth it, to know THAT immediately? Just cut 'em loose immediately. No harm, no foul.)
Facebook is a great tool to really see a person's world. I have thousands of pics on mine. But giving 'Friend' access on FB is risky, because if they do go psycho in a short time, they have all your friend contacts, and can spam them or trash you to them. And it is kinda cold to categorize, notarize and memorialize 'prospects' and see them (or YOU !!!) moved to the 'didn't pan out' status while another few prospects appear (and disapear.) If you don't want rejected prospects to view this, you either have to dump them or never add them. Again, cold. But it is also a great way to know if someone is 'playing' you. FB keeps NO secrets !!!!!! repeat.. FB keeps NO secrets !!!!!
-CG-
I don't post a pic, but gladly send several, all dated, to anyone who asks. Anyone who won't give several good, current, candid shots, is either not real, or not really motivated to meet a great person.
And I don't do Link In, or Facebook apps, either, for that matter. I don't need to, and I don't want to.
But I am looking for one amazing woman, so I should be willing to rpovide plenty of personal data. Sure, be smart. Especially women, don't give out home addresses until a couple of in-person, neutral site dates. If either of you is traveling to meet, you should both have positive picture I. D. of the other. Even if meeting locally in a public place, before leaving there for a private place, be sure you have positive I.D. And be sure he knows you have texted that name to a friend.
TALK, to each other !! WEB CAM each other. If someone can't or won't do those things, at least to get to know each other, don't go any further. Duh, if he only gives you a cell number, and only talks during the day, he's married. Or will only text, and after the fact, and not talk. Be realistic, smart, and perceptive. If you ask a harmless question, and he or she is evasive, make note. If you ask her home address, SSN and bank account number, SHE should make note (and immediatley discontinue communication of any sort.) :):) But like it takes BEING a good neighbor to have a good heighbor, you have to BE real, to find real. If you are not willing to open yourself to another (a little at a time) you'll never find yourself inside another's heart.
(As a side note, sure, some guys just want you to go to web cam immediately because trhey want a peep show. But isn't it worth it, to know THAT immediately? Just cut 'em loose immediately. No harm, no foul.)
Facebook is a great tool to really see a person's world. I have thousands of pics on mine. But giving 'Friend' access on FB is risky, because if they do go psycho in a short time, they have all your friend contacts, and can spam them or trash you to them. And it is kinda cold to categorize, notarize and memorialize 'prospects' and see them (or YOU !!!) moved to the 'didn't pan out' status while another few prospects appear (and disapear.) If you don't want rejected prospects to view this, you either have to dump them or never add them. Again, cold. But it is also a great way to know if someone is 'playing' you. FB keeps NO secrets !!!!!! repeat.. FB keeps NO secrets !!!!!
Most professional working people have a LinkedIn profile. I think this is a good way to very the person's identity. What are your thoughts on using LinkedIn as a tool to look into a person's professional profile?
Most professional working people have a LinkedIn profile. I think this is a good way to very the person's identity. What are your thoughts on using LinkedIn as a tool to look into a person's professional profile?
Thanks Orlando. Any other advice and tips will be greatly appreciated. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of attention. There are so many things to be mindful of with regard to safety and I hope to bring awareness to this subject through my blog.
Just a follow-up. Professor Toma and his colleagues published work in the Journal of Communication recently and found that liars in online dating profiles "write shorter online personal essays." Moreover, he also found other ways to spot online dating liars:
Liars tend to use fewer first-person pronouns.
Liars use more negative words like “not” and “never,”
Liars use fewer negative emotion words like “sad” and “upset"
They offer less information when they are concealing. You may want to check out the profile from those men (or women if you are a man) and see if they fit the bill.
Quoting Dmarie1956:
Thanks Orlando. Any other advice and tips will be greatly appreciated. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of attention. There are so many things to be mindful of with regard to safety and I hope to bring awareness to this subject through my blog.
Just a follow-up. Professor Toma and his colleagues published work in the Journal of Communication recently and found that liars in online dating profiles "write shorter online personal essays." Moreover, he also found other ways to spot online dating liars:
Liars tend to use fewer first-person pronouns.
Liars use more negative words like “not” and “never,”
Liars use fewer negative emotion words like “sad” and “upset"
They offer less information when they are concealing. You may want to check out the profile from those men (or women if you are a man) and see if they fit the bill.
Due to horror stories I have heard from men with some women.. (Yes ladies.. there ARE crazy women out there as well... LOL)
Well, due to this.. I prefer a man who is a wee bit cautious, as in ... I, as a woman, don't require a man's full name, rank and serial number... (Hence linked in profile not a pre-req) I have dealt with men who have harrassed, stalked etc.. and once I was forced to get the police involved due to a man's harrassing etc.. (Not off this site.. and years ago.. EXPERIENCE has taught me well!)
Anyway, for me.. CAUTION PREVAILS... I don't care for a man to know where I live or who exactly I am until I really know he is not a flake! So I respect the same from him. I have had men who were totally understanding of my need for precaution and they STILL gave me all THEIR information.. But this was not a requirement.
HOWEVER... Pictures are required! And that's why I date mine! I had one guy I met who was 13 YEARS OLDER than his profile stated! (I think his photo was that old as well! LOL) I now ask HOW OLD IS THAT PICTURE! LOL... It appears your friend may be hiding something and yes..I say CUT TO THE CHASE! And if he can't understand your need for some answers that are perfectly legit...... I say RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Very attractive woman you are.. Please be careful out there! I've witnessed a lot in my 13 years of on / off online dating.. and it hasn't all been pretty! If a man won't allow me to block my number.... I'm not interested. Webcams are great before he ever has to have your number!
Best Wishes! Let us know what happens.. and WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF MM BLOGS!
DMARIE...
Due to horror stories I have heard from men with some women.. (Yes ladies.. there ARE crazy women out there as well... LOL)
Well, due to this.. I prefer a man who is a wee bit cautious, as in ... I, as a woman, don't require a man's full name, rank and serial number... (Hence linked in profile not a pre-req) I have dealt with men who have harrassed, stalked etc.. and once I was forced to get the police involved due to a man's harrassing etc.. (Not off this site.. and years ago.. EXPERIENCE has taught me well!)
Anyway, for me.. CAUTION PREVAILS... I don't care for a man to know where I live or who exactly I am until I really know he is not a flake! So I respect the same from him. I have had men who were totally understanding of my need for precaution and they STILL gave me all THEIR information.. But this was not a requirement.
HOWEVER... Pictures are required! And that's why I date mine! I had one guy I met who was 13 YEARS OLDER than his profile stated! (I think his photo was that old as well! LOL) I now ask HOW OLD IS THAT PICTURE! LOL... It appears your friend may be hiding something and yes..I say CUT TO THE CHASE! And if he can't understand your need for some answers that are perfectly legit...... I say RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Very attractive woman you are.. Please be careful out there! I've witnessed a lot in my 13 years of on / off online dating.. and it hasn't all been pretty! If a man won't allow me to block my number.... I'm not interested. Webcams are great before he ever has to have your number!
Best Wishes! Let us know what happens.. and WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF MM BLOGS!
Thanks Orlando. Any other advice and tips will be greatly appreciated. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of attention. There are so many things to be mindful of with regard to safety and I hope to bring awareness to this subject through my blog.
Thanks Orlando. Any other advice and tips will be greatly appreciated. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of attention. There are so many things to be mindful of with regard to safety and I hope to bring awareness to this subject through my blog.
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