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THIS BECAUSE IT'S GOOD ADVICE.. Sort by:
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dcpehold
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total posts: 220
Posted on Wed, Jun 07, 2006 19:24

Ladies this is some good advice... please read it when you have time.... ;-) HEAR WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.


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thewomandriven
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total posts: 4
Posted on Sat, Jun 10, 2006 04:31

dcpehold It's about time: a blog that is really saying something. I have put myself through about everything that you mentioned when I was in my early twenties. By the age of 26, I had seen all that I just about wanted to see in dating. I had gone through all the abuse that I was going to take. Sister, what I learned was that I needed to love myself first. You can't expect a man to love you when you don't. That's when I starting approaching everything in my life differently. I'm a young, attractive, successful, educated, Christian sister (not fanatical).....with excellent credit. I've had three relationships since I've made that discovery. I stopped jumping in and out of worthless ones......just to so call "validate my womanhood." Now, at 31, and proud to still be very, very single.....with no baggage! I expect all and more of what I can give in a relationship....AND NOTHING LESS! I no longer look at how beautiful the outside package is. If his credentials aren't right, I won't give him the time of day. Hell, I'm an A+! Why should I let a man get by with a D-? For the shallow people reading this, the total package is not just looks. I'm not single because I have to be but because I choose to be. I will never settle for a man again! There is no way that I could possibly, even remotely, be happy. Patience in this department is so detrimentally key! God knows what I'm looking for and waiting on. When He sends him, I will know it's him. Again, what a great blog! Terri aka thewomandriven


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