You know that I went through a messy divorce my ex has to do full financial disclosure, I am told my son has to stay in a country I despise. * Barbados:
I live in a million dollar home plus, My mom has died , my best friend, my grandfather, grandmother all within a few years.and a divorce and being separated from my son.
If I won the powerball this week I would have the same pain,
Some things in life are so priceless.
It is hard for me around xmas. I see all these commercials where everyone is happy wishing that was me even over some simple things like baking cookies for Santa.
Those are the moments,. not the diamond commercials
So happiness is just a state of mind it is not the home you live in .
It is never from the clothes you wear....it is from love of your family and friends because true love has no price tag it is priceless like the hope diamond.
It's the smallest things in life that bring the biggest pleasures
1"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter !" Headline in a newspaper.
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day. nih
2Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No Duh! Ya Think !
3Police Begin Campaign to" Run" Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
4,Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy that Vet is
5Miners Refuse to Work after Death ! .
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! refusing to work
6.Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
7.War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
8.If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
9.Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
10.Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
11.Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma's construction program!
12.Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge
13.New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
14.Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
15.Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
17.Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
18,Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is.... of headlines
19.Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
Barbie's Christmas List! :o)
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245
North Pole, North Pole
December 12, 2006
Listen you, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas
Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather,try wearing a bikini in the north pole but then you would be warmer you have more fat sorry santa and drowning in fake tea from one too many
tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had
better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and
trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2006
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. I want tennis shoes,
No more six inch heels,
How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to
cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?! I mean do you know how it feels not to be able to change your underwear for 365 days plus. Plus :It looks like cellulite!
3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hel..l, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken.I mean we all know he's gay I love gay men just not as boyfreinds and I am not Grace and do not want my ken to be Will. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.
4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.
5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.These double D's are aching my back and I want a bigger waist you heard me 20 inches is a bit ridiculous.
6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet,
a public relations senior account exec!How about me being the next Donald Trump or Bill Gates. I mean I liked being a teacher and pet doctor and those are much needed jobs but come on Santa.
8. A new, more 2006 persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun,
outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum. Barbie with her choice of birth control...another patch. and pajamas vs Looking like all I wear is Victoria Secrets or a bikini all day please.
9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
10. Mattel stock options. It's been 44 years--I think I deserve it.
Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line.
If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new blonde bimbo doll for next Christmas.I resign.
Barbie ...12 dec 2006
It's that simple.