#1 Dating Site for Successful Singles and Admirers
Millionaire Blogs > Coachfrankie's blogs > Life is NOT FAIR- get over it
Life is NOT FAIR- get over it Sort by:
Author
coachfrankie
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 91
Posted on Tue, Jul 04, 2006 15:09

I have a FREE BMW to give away.. who wants it? Who???? Ok going , going .. GONE.. to the highest bidder. Was that you? No? NOt fair you say? Whoever said Life is not Fair, was absolutely correct. Since we have all heard this and know this to be a truism, why then are we always so surprised when it is not? One of my pet peeves on these sites is to read the following " i have posted a picture so I need to see yours, its only fair". I have to say, this drives me crazy. I am not sure why and I apologize to the many who have this on their profile. Why didn't we say How unfair it is to be looking for someone at this stage of our life? How unfair it is to be this age and compete with women 15 years younger for the same men. How about how unfair it is that most of the time, men NEVER join these sites and women are the ones who pay so that they can recieve mail. Wanna know what I think is unfair? NOTHING...smile.. yes that is true. All is fair, because we chose to be here. We chose by either our actions or inactions the life we are now living. No, life may not be fair. Good people get hurt and bad people live on..would it be fair to say.."that's life"..yup How about becoming old in the North American culture? Is that fair? NOPE! I would prefer to be from some Asian family as I get older.At least i would be respected for my wisdom..smile.. Is Life fair that I was hit, that Hirosho has cancer or that Erica's friend recently died? Maybe not. I think we waste our time worrying about stuff being Fair or NOT instead of being grateful for what we have, choosing to make do with what we do have, and learning to be happy and making the best of bad situations( staying positive) Keeping a sense of humour is probably the best thing you can do to arm yourself against an Unfair world. You could complain..thats where the BMW comes in.. BITCH, MOAN and WHINE- you have two minutes- GO!!!!! Pardon? no ones listening..Okay I want to be fair.. I am.... smile. CF


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
southernstarr2006
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 365
Posted on Wed, Jul 05, 2006 16:36

Hi CF.. one can always count on your insightful and heart felt essays... Its true live isn't fair..even a friend of mine who is a judge said.." Erica...life is not fair and there is no justice." Get used to it. Philip dying was just another validation of this fact..I mean what is fair about life being taken away from a good man who had everything going for him...and everything before him .... To what point , cause , reason does this happen. Life does see so unfair at time but while on the face of it these words seem harsh, they are comforting at some levels. If life isn't fair, the hurt, anger and frustration are justifiable - the coach really wasn't fair for not putting me in the starting line-up, the boss isn't fair for promoting someone less qualified than I, my parents are not fair in always siding with my brother. Sometimes we are more altruistic in our feelings - it is not fair that much of the world goes to bed hungry each night, that violence is a daily fact of life in many corners of the globe and that justice is many times not equal under the law. The concept of life's unfairness serves as an explanation, however inadequate, for many of the world's miseries and allows us to accept life as it is. If life were fair, it would fly in the face of the individuality and diversity we all hold so dear - that makes each of us unique. What a dull world it would be if everyone were as well formed as a super model, as athletic as Michael Jordan or Lance Armstrong, as creative and intelligent as De Vinci, Einstein or Edison and wealthy as Bill Gates. It can also, in a less noble sense, relieve any feelings of guilt or responsibility - life just isn't fair and there isn't a whole lot we can do about it - in fact, life would be quite uninteresting to boot. Also, if life were fair, it could mean we would all be equally miserable - poor, hungry and unhealthy. The concept of life being unfair can serve to keep the status quo, to justify our inertia in pursuing self-improvement or ameliorating the lot of our fellow man. It could even be considered intrusive, self-serving or presumptuous to interfere in the lives of others, however well meaning. Perhaps life is not fair and maybe it is best that way. But perhaps it is also time to attach a corollary to that adage: life may not be fair but it can be fairer. We can all try to make it better. By saying positively that life can be fairer we do not sacrifice our individuality or uniqueness. We do not dwell on what can't be done but on what can be. We can truly feel a little less guilty by making a difference in someone else's life. With our small efforts, we won't appear too self important - if so, the damage would be minimal. It also makes the task of fairness more manageable - we may not be able to save the world, but we can improve a piece of it. While life isn't fair is a win-lose proposition, making life fairer is a win-win. It can lead to our own self-improvement, especially of our souls and in the process, make life a little better for those around us. No one can go back and start a new beginning.... but anyone can start and make a new ending. ???After the winter comes the spring....After the night comes the dawn.... After every storm, there comes a clear blue sunny sky and a new day and a new start and a new opportunity to make a difference in someone's heart..." Erica Anne


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
coachfrankie
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 91
Posted on Wed, Jul 05, 2006 09:11

Ladies- I salute YOU! YOU get it and that is a rare and wonderful thing. Lotus- I and MANY coaches I know use gratitude journals and you are NOT naive or hopelessly optomistic. Humans are..or they are not.Their choice. Ebreeze..man the troubles you have known..huh? and Debbie- YOU are an emerging light on here. Don't stop posting...you are brilliant.. cf


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
lovelylotus
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 489
Posted on Tue, Jul 04, 2006 23:05

Frankie- Yet another though-provoking post... Life is what you make of it. I can chose to be angry about whatever hardships have come my way (and they have, despite my youth!) Or I can choose to view adversity as a learning experience, something that makes me stronger and more resilient. I'm not always able to do this instantaneously, but time and prayer always seem to give a bit of perspective. I can try to condition myself to appreciate the good in my life- family and friends, my love for my job, the opportunities I am handed every day. When I was in college, I helped coordinate an alcohol/drug abuse outreach program for local high school students. One of our first projects was to contact an AA chapter and find people to speak on the dangers of drinking. These people had been beaten down- prison terms, stints in rehab and psychiatric hospitals, poor family relationships, debt like you wouldn't believe, etc. They had been stepped on by life and in turning to the bottle, stepped on themselves. Upon speaking to them, I was amazed to find a group of people full of hope and joy. When I asked how they could be so positive, they shared one of their keys to recovery. They had been encouraged to create a "gratitude list," a list of all the things they were thankful for. One of the women I talked to told me how she expected to only come up with one or two items. By the time she was finished, she had filled two pages! I think if most people tried this, they would have the same result. I am one of the young things you refer to (if it makes you feel any better, I am not competing for anyone!) Perhaps I sound naive. In fact, I probably do. Life is going to throw some very hard knocks my way, but if I can weather them with grace and optimism, perhaps I will grow up to be as strong and vibrant as women like you!


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment