Lets turn a sad story into a short one
Posted on Jun 15, 2006 at 10:10 AM
I hope and pray I do not offend you in any way shape or form as this is only my opinion and will call it as it see it. By your short description I will say the following and remember that I am not a professional in this field; however I am a mother of two wonderful children and have been left on my own to raise and care for them. You apparently have some issues to deal with. Needing to set your priorities straight and begin to live for yourself and your children should come high on your list. Reclaim your independence and be honest with yourself as well as your partner. Set some time and rediscover what it is that you really want or feel.
Being with a man out of pity or obligation to him or children is not good. You should be with him because you want to or love him. Not because you feel trapped in that relationship. And as far as him being someone great later, well sweetie, he is 32 years old and according to you he still lives with mama. That is not the type of man I would personally want, but granted you are not me. I do not know his situation or background but if he has not stepped out to make something of himself by this age, well Beauty - what is he waiting for? While you may be young you need to think foremost of your two precious little ones, whom rely on you for everything. You are a mother and when you do not have a husband you become not only mother but father as well. Assume that role and make it your own. Claim your independence; find yourself before trying to find someone else. Either let him go or tell him exactly how you feel. Honesty is still the best policy and when you play with the emotions of your man. You can really scar him greatly not to mention what you are doing to your children. If he truly loves you he will find the way to be with your family.
Grandfather was such a great man and he would always advise me to make sure I understand the difference between caring for someone and truly loving someone.
My way of looking at it is that I care for many people, friends, and extended family, I even care for many humanitarian causes; but the word love comes dearest to me. I would have to say that I love my son and daughter, my mother and father and some day I hope to love a man very deeply again (understand that the love for a man is extremely different than any one of the loves above, it is a deeper feeling, a true connection of mind and spirit not to mention all the fun you can have with him which only belongs to him).
A good test when you love someone is when you wake up in the morning laying next to him, do you???.. (I will give simple examples to keep it clean)
1) Think of what you will make for Breakfast?
2) Think of your children and what uniform or clothing they will wear for the day?
3) What specialty should I prepare for dinner?
4) Or, what should I do (or try) to make him stay a little longer in bed with me.
My choice is always, how I can tempt him into staying with me a bit longer in bed. Again this man stays in your mind, your soul and in every part of your being. If he is not in your heart and mind by this now, he will only be second to someone else. You can not tie someone to you out of self preservation or obligation. Let him go if you do not truly want, desire, and love him for he will find out one day and he will end up hating you for it. And by you being on this site tells me that you are looking for someone else.
I may be wrong and you might get better advice, and hope you do.
Well hope you get the answer you seek. And remind you again that this is only a conservative point of view.