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More about the scammers Posted on Feb 05, 2012 at 12:54 PM

I have few blogs regarding scammers. I even included in my profile all kind of ways about how to catch them. But I want to add one more blog to the others because - this one scammer - really passed with flying colors a lot of the advices I included in any blogs and in my profile.

Here is the story and I hope it may help some of us to (at least) weed out Nigerian scammers that pretend or even live in UK, US or Canada. I met a guy on this site (he deleted his profile about 3 months after I start talking with him on the site - I am not sure if he is not here again under a different profile - even a woman's one). I even talk with him on the phone. He pretended to live in Ireland. And his accent matched the region. I did my research and found audio files with accents of the people living in that region. Listened very carefully to them in order to make sure that the accent matched. He had everything verified in his profile except millionaire status. I did even a IP address check on his email header and I asked him for copies of his IDs - that he was very prompt to send. The only thing he didn't want to do - was to get on Skype pretending that the connection is very bad from Ireland. After reading some of the romancescam site forum entries I did a little search about Nigerian people. I found out that they are very superstitious. So still having a suspicion about this guy I sent him an e-mail cursing him if he is a scammer. What happened after ....  really amazed me....




He dissapeared for 2 weeks. On the third week he wrote me an email to apologize and recognize that he is a scammer and asked me to free him from my curses. I told him that I will do that only if he sends me a video with the real him and talking about something that only he and me will know. I am keeping that video as a reminder that you can't be careful enough with these scammers. 2 days later I got the email with the video. He was a black guy. Considering my IP tracing and the fact that his phone number is not from the list of the UK numbers that you can redirect - he is really leaving in Ireland, UK. And believe me - he is taking all the time in the world to talk with you. I don't know what he is getting from this because I didn't send him any money - it's true he tried to ask and that is what kept my suspicions going. But he continued to talk even when I refused to send any money.




So keep in mind these scammers are not afraid to be caught by us or the police - but seem to fear a lot a divine punishment. They are very afraid of curses. Try that when a person you talk with doesn't want to use Skype to talk with you. And don't trust Yahoo Messenger they figured a way to get around that as the video rendering for it seems to be very slow in a lot of computers. I had a scammer that I didn't talk even for a week that was trying to use that trick on me. I close any communication with him before getting to any curses.




There is another blogger here that has very good advices and stories regarding scammers and I advice you to read his blogs as well. Look for smax117. Why I am trying so hard to warn people about these scammers? Because I am really frustrated with these scammers and how much they take from our time. Now I learned to cut them short. One more lesson learned. And find attached one of the photos the UK scammer is using. For sure that is a guy he is talking with - pretending that he is a woman.




So guys, keep an eye on who you are talking too. The scammers have no issue in using other people photos in trying to fool you. That drop dead beauty that sounds so much in love with you can be in reality a guy ......

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Understanding Men and Women Different Views Of Everyday Life Posted on Sep 25, 2011 at 08:33 AM

I see a lot on this site man complaining about women being drama queens and so on. I always wonder what they mean by that. I heard many times in my life men also complaning about women talking too much or nagging too much.

On the other hand I heard as often, women complaining about men being too lazy. or not being there for them as much as they need. Or even men ignoring them.

I totally admit that these complains sometimes have solid bases. But many times I also feel that we just missunderstand each others. And for that I want to share this part from John Gray's "Why Mars And Venus Collide" with you.

"A woman's brain has a larger corpus callosum, the bundle of nerves that connects the right and left hemisphere of the brain. This link, which produces cross-talk between the hemispheres, is 25 percent smaller in men. In practical terms, this means men do not connect feelings and thoughts as readily as women do. In a very real sense, women have superhighways connecting their feelings to speech, while men have back roads with plenty of stop signs.

This stronger connection between different parts of the brain increases a woman's ability to multitask. When she is listening, she is also thinking, remembering, feeling, and planning all at the same time.

A man's brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single hemisphere to accomplish a task. A woman's brain is more diffuse, using both hemispheres for many tasks. This neurological difference allows men to focus and to block out distractions for long periods of time. On the other hand, women tend to see things in a broader context, from a larger vantage point.

Men tend to do one thing at a time in their brains and in life. When a man is under stress, he can easily forget his partner and her needs. He may be focusing on how to get that promotion, so he forgets to bring home the milk. A woman can easily misinterpret his forgetful behavior as uncaring. After she has misunderstood his forgetful behavior in this manner, it is even harder for her to risk asking him for more support.

This insight can help a woman not to take it personally when he is at his computer and seems annoyed when she asks him a question. For her, it is a simple task to shift her attention when she is interrupted, but for him it is much more difficult. If he seems annoyed, she can remember that it is much more difficult for him to shift gears rather than take it personally.

In a similar manner, women become annoyed when a man tries to narrow down the focus of her conversation to a single point. He may interrupt her and ask her to get to the point, or ask what she wants him to do when she is still just connecting all the dots of what she is talking about. Quite commonly men will say, "I understand," but a woman hears that he wants her to finish talking. He feels she doesn't have to continue, because he understands. Since she is still in the process of discovering what it is she wants to say, she knows he cannot fully undersand...

The differences in brain structure between men and women has another important effect on stress relief. A man can more easily disengage from his serious, responsible left brain and allow it to rest and regenerate. When a man is stressed, he can simply change his focus to a hobby or watching TV and he begins to relax. He shifts from using his left brain, which is logical, practical, and reality-based, to his right brain, which is feeling, risk-taking and fantasy-based. By making this shift, he automatically disconnects from the stress of his responsibilities. In this manner, a man can shift gears and disengage from everyday worries with greater ease.

A woman does not have this luxury, since the connective tissue between the two hemispheres of her brain won't allow her to disengage as easily. When she is on the right side of her brain, trying to relax or have a fun time, she is still connected to her analytical and rational left brain.

On a practical note, understanding this difference helps men to recognize the futility of making comments to a woman like "Just forget it" or "Don't worry about it". She can't make this shift the way a man does, but she can talk about what is bothering her. If a man can't solve a problem, his way of coping is to forget about it until he can do something about it. If a woman can't solve a problem, then she feels, "At least we can talk about it"... By remembering her problems, a woman can actually free herself from their gripping hold on her and her mood.....

Most men appreciate a beautiful and orderly home, yet they can easily return to an untended house and simply relax while watching TV. In his world, relaxing comes before tending to the home. After a long day at work, a man takes a deep breath and begins to relax at just the thought of going home. When a woman returns home, her stress levels go up. Every cell in her body  says, "this house must be cleaned up before we can relax."

Even if she wanted to rest, she couldn't. Her mind is too busy with standards that she must uphold... In a woman's mind, there is a long to-do list. Until it is finished, it is very hard for her to rest, relax, or do something simply because she enjoys it."

I hope that with this insight in how our neurological structures are different, we may get a little bit of more understanding about each other.  I will recommend everyone to read this book ("Why Mars And Venus Collide"). This may stop some unrealistic expectations we have for each other and hopefully will make our relationships full of joy and pleasure.

Finding your very best true friend Posted on Sep 11, 2011 at 02:01 PM

There is something that I found some people forget when thinking about dating. The dating is not only about chemistry and first dates that can go great or not.

Dating is really a journey. A journey of finding someone special. Some people get tired in waiting and searching to find that someone and at some point may settle for less. Some go the other direction and start searching more and more hoping that at some point there will be someone to fit all their checklist. But all these people may have forgot one thing.

You don't need to find a perfect person. None of us is perfect and will never be. Finding your soulmate or your partner for life (call him/her as you want and as many names as you want) is really finding your true best friend. The friend that will be there when you are going through hard times, the friend that will not feel bad to give you a shoulder to cry - even in public - when you have a bad day, the friend that will not care if you put few extra pounds in times when you worked hard and didn't have time to exercise. You need that friend that will make you see that tomorrow is a much brighter day and you just need to finish today in order to get to tomorrow.

Money may bring good days and they may last for long times. But especially the recession times we went through are an example that money can go away very easy and fast. If you worked hard for them you will find a way to get them back. But how about the person that you thought was your partner - are you sure that he/she will stand by you through all these times. Will they give up on their preferred sports or special cosmetics just to be there for you, until you recover?

I didn't go through such a situation (just in case you may wonder). But I saw this a lot around me.

So my question is - and I will really like to see your comments - are you feeling that through all this dating process you may have forget about finding your true best friend or you were able to always keep that in mind?

How To Spot Fake Profiles Posted on Sep 04, 2011 at 03:44 PM

I will start first by saying that the MMCounselors on this site are doing a great job in trying to clean all the fake profiles. But with the ammount of people that subscribe daily I think is closer to impossible for them to spot all the fakes. So, I am hoping that more people on this site will read my post and ..... let's all of us do our part in cleaning this site of fakes/scammers/money diggers.




Read The Profiles Very Careful


Most people that create a fake profile don't have time to fill too many sections, their descriptions are very short and they have problems with even the basic English. For them is a number game. This is not the only site they will try to post a profile, they need to worry about a lot of profiles all over the place, especially if someone flags them and their account gets deleted. They will need to create a whole new account and hope that they will not get flagged again. If a profile has a lot of "Ask Me" and /or says very little - there is quite a good chance that that profile is fake.




Some fakers got even better. Knowing that a short description may flag them they started copying and pasting bits and pieces from other profiles. So, read the full description, if it seems that doesn't make sense then doesn't matter how long the description is - it is just another fake profile. Flag them and ask the MMCounselors to take a look at the profile.




There is another tool that is out there to help you in spotting a fake profile. If a profile has only one or two photos and they look super great it is possible that they are just photos copied from the Internet. There is a tool called TinEye. It is verifying if a photo you submitted is shown anywhere else on the Internet. So just right click of the photo you suspect as being a fake, save it on your hard drive and submit it for a check. That is how I flagged a profile of a person - when his photo proved to be of a real estate person - totally different what he was saying he is.


The Profile Looks Right But The First Few Message Exchanges Look Awful




A scammer may have copied a great profile from somewhere else. So may be hard to know that you are talking with a fake. You send him/her a message and they start responding. If their responses are very short and their English is totally different that the one in the profile - then you better contact again an MMCounselor and ask them to do a check.




But I met scammers that are even worst than that. They write in a very good English. But in the first message exchange their story is changing totally. In one message they may tell you that their wife/husband died of cancer and few messages later they will tell you that their other half left them and they have a totally broken heart. Or the profile is mentioning that he has a child and a while later he/she may tell you that they have no kids or they have more than one kid. And the examples can go on and on. Be alert and if you feel there are lies, just flag them and close the discussion with those kind of individuals.


I wish everyone good luck in finding that special one we are looking for. Until then let's try to make all the dating experience as easy and great as we can. And let's help in making this site a great site to meet other wonderful singles.




There was a very good question from one other member of this site - Sistercounselor - asking about talking on the phone or chatting off MM right away. I am adding the answer I gave her to this blog as I think is something that will help a lot of us:




"Talking on the phone right away can have a good side, but can be bad in the same time. Hearing a person voice on the phone, can help you discover if he/she is really an English speaking person or not. If he/she is from an English speaking country but he/she can't put two correct sentences together - you have your answer about a fake. But I will advice using a cell phone and not your own home phone. US, Canada, UK have reverse phone search engines and using such an engine a person can find out your address. Cell phones are not listed on these engines and any mobile company can help you change your phone number for a small fee. Same stays for chatting off MM. If your chat program gets away your real name and address then use one that you can hide such things. Your well being and safety are much more important than anything else. And if he/she are pushing you in giving up any personal information, do exactly what this site is asking for identification, ask them to scan a photo ID for you and white out things like the ID number if they are not feeling totally comfortable to send you that. A real person will understand your need for safety, if they don't - how you can trust them in the future if in the start of your relationship together they are not willing to help in building a good relationship.


Very good question Sistercouselor. I will try to add this answer to the original blog."



I will also advice to stay on the MM site as long as you need until you feel comfortable to use an email or chat or phone. Always keep your safety in your mind.

Sept. 25, 2011. Found another very interesting information on another blog. There is a site romancescam and if you put a dot com in the end you have the full site address. They have a huge database of scammers with photos and email addresses they use. As well as other useful information.

As I will come across more such useful information I will keep updating this blog.

Jan. 14, 2012. One more place for you with information about scams and scammers. romancescambaiter and put a dot com. If you follow the links you can even see some scammers caught on camera.

And one more thing I just came accross. Nigerian scammers are getting better and better. They start having fake (photoshop changed