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aestheticleader
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Posted on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 00:43


We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as hot or sexy, I’m never described as cute.  What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? What do you mean when you describe someone as being hot, sexy, attractive, or cute?  How do others describe you?


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We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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aestheticleader
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Posted on Thu, Jul 26, 2012 07:35

Jim,
I truly believe that you do "get it". There is a deeper level of connection that occurs between individuals when they are open to it.. . and my work in aesthetic leadership continues to reveal that such a deeply felt connection is often described by individuals as a type of unexplainable "pull" that one feels. 
Gina
 



We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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Posted on Wed, Jul 25, 2012 22:29

Well, asethetic leadership is something I am interested in learning more about... and I certainly agree that some individuals have the ability to connect with others at a deeper level...
In my own professional work I have had the opportunity to measure the levels of psychological existence of over 1.5 million people,  I  teach this along with neuropsychological emotional processing to corporate and physician leaders. By the way.... what intrigued me about you....were your eyes...
I believe there are different componets of attraction...  asethetic, intellectual, emotional, chemical (phonemes) and spiritual...I also believe that energy...that which comes from your inner being, your soul....is the deepest level of connection between two people... though the use of neruropsychological processing (micro-facial expressions) you can tell a curtious smile from a sincere smile... you can read emotions... some people have what I call a "gift" the ability to connect at a deep interpersonal level...though the use of NLP, you can teach someone to "connect" but you cannot teach that deep soulful unspoken connection .. For couples, it is when a touch is not just a touch, a look not just a look but rather a feeling of energy that permenates your heart, mind and soul... it is totally natural, easy and requires no work.... it just is.... it is that level of communication that is almost telepathic, you know what the other is thinking without asking.... you are connected to the extend of feeling one...
I think many are seeking their soulmate ( I know I am ) and desire this level of oneness... I think women have the edge over men in understanding this and I think to truly "get it" it helps to be at a high level of consiousness.
By the way.... the most important quality I look for is "kindness"...and that is what I saw in your eyes....
Some times things just happen.... this is one of those times...
 
Jim
 
 



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rmac22
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Posted on Mon, Feb 27, 2012 08:51

Quoting Diana: "But, I think the most important factor is if I get the sense he really likes women…."

I especially like this. It gives hope to we men who really like women.

rmac



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Conyersguy Recommended
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Posted on Mon, Feb 27, 2012 06:05

Many of us know this "it" factor.   My sexist judgment says that you women ascribe either sex appeal, or sexual willingness to other women you feel aren't necessarily as attractive, but have "it." 
 
I have a dear male friend who has "it."   I have known him for 40 years, and he's had "it" all that time.   Early in life he had long curly hair and the cool hippie vibe going.   He married soon after college, but still had "it,"  according to his legions of fans.  He's now a single, mid-50s, career governnment employee, and still has "it."   
 
In my opinion, a little better than average looking.  Good but not great shape for his age.  Good, but in no way distinctive, hair.  Smarter than average, but no quantum physics. Fun, Funny.   No "hidden asset" that would engender devotion.:):) 
 
But a nice guy, and an absolute babe magnet.    Out mutual lady friends don't know what it is, but they all agree, he has "it."   
 
Now,if any of you MM women want to see for yourself, just contact me and I'll arange meetings..........for a fee, of course. :):)   
 



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rmac22
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Posted on Tue, Feb 21, 2012 21:03

Hi Diana:

Yes, I do think some men have an “it” factor. Not that I can see it. I only have to observe that some men easily attract women, indeed are pretty much surrounded by women for reasons that are far from obvious. The whole idea of an “it” factor is that it is a certain indescribable, unexplainable something. Anyhow, some examples:

There was a person way back in college. Shaped generally like a football with his waist at the fattest part, his feet at one end and his head at the other. He always seemed to be dating very attractive girls. It turned out I dated one for awhile who had dated him. When I determined this, I asked her why she had dated him. None of my business, but I wondered. Was he smart? Not particularly. Nice? Well the ladies thought so. Witty? I don’t think so. So what was his special charm? I don’t know. She could not or did not say.

Then there was a person at a different university, dumb, all animal energy. He too had no trouble finding dates with attractive women. None seemed to date him for very long, but most seemed willing to date him at least for awhile. This on a college campus, a place where dumb isn’t in it Beats me.
.
Last case, working world, women chased him, lots of them. He took it all for granted. Neither attractive nor ugly; just was. Smart? This was at a think tank. Everyone was smart or at least was supposed to be.

I am sure there were men that women would find handsome that also had an “it” factor. I just don’t remember any obvious examples.

rmac



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Diana3316
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Posted on Sat, Feb 18, 2012 09:23

Quoting rmac22:

Diana, Aetheticleader, and Smiles: Is there an "it" factor for men?

rmac


Ahhh…..Rmac. Leave it to you to ask a most intriguing question. I have been thinking about this ever since I saw the question. For sure, some men have the ‘it’ factor, which is not easily described…..but I absolutely know when I see it!!

I don’t ‘feel’ it instantly, like a man might feel ‘it’ about a woman. For me, I begin to get a sense of a man’s masculine power, the ‘it factor’ if you will, once I start to speak with him. I start to understand “this man is the whole package”.....intellect, wit and heart. (It's really important if his humor is amusing to me). But, I think the most important factor is if I get the sense he really likes women….and seeks them out. He is neither intimidated by them, nor views them as objects to be possessed and controlled. He really likes how they think, how they feel and most importantly the value they bring into his life……in most cases preferring the company of a woman over buddies.

I think because these kind of men truly LIKE women...they seem to connect and understand them, which creates an environment that draws women to them.

Please share your thoughts. Do you think some men have an 'it' factor? How would you describe it? Can one man tell when another has it? :)



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aestheticleader
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Posted on Wed, Feb 15, 2012 10:05

Rock Hudson in Giant and Jack Lemmon in The Apartment both had the "it" factor.


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We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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aestheticleader
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Posted on Wed, Feb 15, 2012 10:02


Oooh la la! A man with je ne sais quoi  is a man with the “it” factor. It is difficult to translate je ne sais quoi in English and still capture the deep feeling that it creates. It is a matter of personal taste and it may not translate very well to others.  In my opinion, it is knowing yourself well enough to embrace and exude those positive characteristics that you possess. Others that find those unique characteristics appealing will identify that individual as someone with the “it” factor. Rock Hudson in Giant. Jack Lemmon in The Apartment. Both very different type of “it” factors but both exude the positive traits of their character.

 


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We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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rmac22
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Posted on Tue, Feb 14, 2012 12:11

Diana, Aetheticleader, and Smiles: Is there an "it" factor for men?

rmac



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Diana3316
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Posted on Sun, Feb 05, 2012 10:05

Rmac~
You are so right about the 'it' factor. It has nothing to do with actual physical features. I'm sure every man has met a stunningly beautiful woman, that fell flat as a pancake.

And you are also right about pictures not always being able to capture 'it'. But Marilyn had it all. :))


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aestheticleader
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Posted on Thu, Feb 02, 2012 07:27

Rmac is getting closer perhaps to the "feelings" underlying this inquiry.  I have done extensive research in the field of Aesthetics and am convinced that  our perceptions of beauty include that which we feel deep within us. As such, some individuals can reach us at a level that is difficult to put into words. Individuals are similar to art and music in that way .... While my research is in Aesthetic Leadership, the discovery suggests that some individuals posses aesthetic qualities that can go beyond charismatic. Marilyn possessed that quality for many.  


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We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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BradB30
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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 21:57

Thanks for honest self critique! I'm honest real and joyful!

Good luck finding the nth of happiness!!!

BradB30



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aestheticleader
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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 19:37

Great discussions! I am certainly flattered if I am referred to by any of the descriptors that I mentioned and I definitely mean them as a compliment if I refer to someone else as hot, sexy, attractive, or cute.  CambridgeFellow had some great insights regarding the location or environment having an influence on the terms selected.  I had the opportunity to speak with CambridgeFellow recently and he is definitely a very attractive and charming guy.  I thought this because of a combination of his photo and the discussion that we had.  He is very sincere, interesting, and thoughtful in his communications..... these features made me think of him as a very attractive and charming guy.  



We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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CambridgeFellow
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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 13:34

Dear AsetheticLeader,

When we chatted the other day and i referred to you as "cute", my intent was pretty much what Smiles19772000 (aka ms. ireland) said. Which is it is less sexual and more about the face, which is more appropriate for two people who do not know each other well. I think men should not be too forward when they first meet a woman. And calling a woman "sexy" is a bit forward for me. Also, it might give the women the impression that the man is only interest in sex, and many woman are turned off by this.

Another thing that is interesting to note is the difference between what one says and what one thinks. For example, at a cocktail party, a man might see a woman in a hot dress and think "she's hot". Yet if he goes up to her and says, "I think you are hot", she might be turned off. So men need to tone it down a notch when they first meet a woman, in my view. And "cute", instead of "hot" or "sexy", is a way of toning it down.


Best Wishes CambridgeFellow
 



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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 11:33

I agree with Smiles



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rmac22
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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 11:23

Some women have a "something" an "it" that defies easy explanation. They may not be as attractive point by point or feature by feature as another, but if they go down the hall every man sees them and that is not so for their counterpart.

To say they are attractive does not get it, they have something else. Marilyn Monroe was an example. I have some private examples, but referencing them would mean nothing to you all.

Pictures usually don’t fully show this “it.”

I think "hot" and "sexy" are over used or we need another word for what I am talking about here.

Otherwise I can't add anything to what CG and Smiles said.

rmac



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aestheticleader
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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2012 07:35

Ha Ha! I definitely see what you mean. How do people describe you?  I would give it a shot, but no photo came up. Are you hot? sexy? Attrctive? or Cute?



We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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Conyersguy Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 09:52

I find it a little hard to believe a woman of 50 doesn't know the difference between cute and hot.
 
Look at your own profile.    Cute is you in the black top.   Hot is you in the black dress.   
 
Class dismissed.  :):)
 
-CG-



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aestheticleader
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Posted on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 08:30

Great comments! Your observations certainly make a lot of sense. While descriptive terms are subjective - and therefore not universal, there may be some common understanding of what they mean.  I also believe that men and women might use these descriptive terms differently.....but I guess we will have to wait and see what the guys have to say.    



We all use words to describe physical appearance. I’m always described as "hot" or "sexy", I’m never described as "cute". What’s the difference between hot, sexy, attractive, and cute? Aestheticleader .... Always described as sexy, never described as cute!

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