Members Only
Most Recent Visitors
Members Only

47 • Man
Members Only

36 • Woman
Members Only

46 • Woman
Members Only

59 • Man
Members Only

59 • Woman
Members Only

49 • Woman
Why Do Cougars Die Young? Posted on May 18, 2010 at 09:25 AM

I read this article from my homepage news and I found it to be very interesting and thought y'all might enjoy it too.




By Hannah Seligson, The Daily Beast


A new study says women who wed men who are much older-or much younger-have an increased risk of death. Hannah Seligson on why marrying outside your age range might be hazardous to your health.


Rare is the study that unites cougars and gold-diggers. But according to recent numbers from the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Germany, women who marry much younger men and women who marry much older men have something in common-both groups suffer an increased risk of death.


Why would age-gap relationships affect a women's longevity?


The reasons depend on which group you fall into. For younger women with older husbands, life expectancy can be both the cause and the effect. "When a younger woman marries an older man, he is more likely to die before she does," says Dr. David Eigen, a Boca Raton-based psychologist and author of Women-The Goddesses of Wisdom. "And we know that when one spouse dies, the other is more likely to die within a few years." In other words, take up with an older man, and be prepared to take on some of his risk of death, too.


Younger women are particularly at risk when it comes to kicking the bucket soon after their older husband dies because they tend to be more financially dependent on him. "After the death of a spouse, there's the greater possibility women will suffer financial hardship, which can weigh on a person," says Eigen. Call it the Anna Nicole Smith Effect-a year after the death of her billionaire husband, 69 years her senior, the busty blonde was in bankruptcy and ensnared in multiple legal battles.


But even if your older gentleman is still breathing, he may not be huffing along vigorously enough to keep you young. "A younger woman living with an older guy is more likely to be doing activities that, well, don't keep her young," says Eigen, "like playing bingo."


And even if your husband is keeping you active, it might not be the right kind of active. "Women who marry older men often become caregivers, and caregiving is stressful and can shorten a women's life span by about 25 percent," says Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life.


So trade in your aging husband for a younger, fresher face and increase your longevity in the process? Unfortunately, it's not that simple. The study's researchers say the age gap cuts both ways, and that even women who marry the strapping young mountain biker-the so-called cougars-may see their risk of death increase as well.


A 2003 study by AARP found that 34 percent of all women over 40 in the survey were dating younger men, and 35 percent preferred it to dating older men. Mandel says that women in these relationships-the kind that shows like Courteney Cox's Cougar Town have made icons of-are put under a particular strain when it comes to aging and body image, even more so than women who are married to men their own age. "When your husband is young and your body is changing, you are more stressed and insecure than the average woman.
"Stress is an inflammatory process, which causes cardiovascular problems, and has been implicated in many disease processes as well as exacerbating symptoms," says Mandel. This can also, she says, lead older women to exercise addiction and severe dieting.


Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Weil Cornell Medical College in New York City, agrees. "Maybe there is something more stressful, socially and physically, about the role of being the older woman in a couple. They have to keep up with their younger and more energetic husbands."


Susan Winter, the author of Older Women, Younger Men who has lived with (and been married to) men that have ranged from 16 to 22 years her junior, says it's not easy to live outside the social sanctions.
"I know. I've done it," she says. "In essence, women are dying earlier because society invalidates their choice of partner. So maybe it is the limited social construct that kills, not the mate's age."


Which means that the increasing normalization of older women with younger men could make a difference. Samantha Jones, Madonna, and Demi Moore just might save us yet."Without that societally imposed stress, a later study may prove it's actually healthier for women to have a younger husband," says Winter.


So forced to choose-for your lifespan's sake, of course-is it healthier to go younger or older?


According to the study, women marrying a partner seven to nine years younger increase their relative mortality risk by 20 percent compared with couples who are both the same age. If your partner is seven to nine years older, your relative mortality increases by only 8 percent.

But personally, Winter doesn't care. "As for me," she says, "I would rather die of a heart attack in bed with my younger man than die of boredom changing adult Pampers."


It's all in the profile pic.. Posted on Apr 24, 2010 at 08:03 PM

.....after all, isn't it? You gotta have that first impression / hook. I'm sitting here wondering how such the double standard we really do live in. I've heard many a complaint from the men about not being able to recognize a potential mate from their profile pics when they finally meet. It seems women are prone to upload a photo of their better looking sister posed as themselves or a true photo but 20 yrs younger. I'm sure that happens but it isn't all just the women. I have run into quite a few profiles lately that prove the men to be just as vain and dishonest. I can't really say totally dishonest, but full disclosure after a few emails or actual meeting doesn't count....kind of dishonest anyway in my humble opinion. I am so disappointed right now. I've been emailing a guy that I thought was cute and sure enough.....found an updated photo on his profile.....real age wise photo sneaked right in there as an afterthought after a couple of months. Holy Moly, I had to look hard to figure out if it was the same person. Geesh and here I thought he just kept himself in good shape or inherited good genes. Shame on me.  I'm thinking the logic here is to get someone's interest first...then full disclosure?  Guys......or Gals......we have got our true selves. I couldn't stand to see the disappointment in their faces if I didn't. I'm curious if it's just me feeling this way? I know it's all superficial and it's been talked about here many times...but in reality....first impressions really are always need to be attracted to them and they need to be your type unless you are able to think outside your box. So when you do find someone you are attracted to visually and you find out they aren't what you were lead to do you react? It's hard for me to accept the deception.

Snakes Alive!!!! Posted on Apr 15, 2010 at 08:36 PM

Ok gang.....I am 59yrs old and up until 10:00 pm on 4/15/ 2010...I have never had a snake in my house. I just got home from having dinner with the grand kids, nice wonderful evening....walked in the house, took my shoes off, turned on a few lights and there....right under the kiddie table I think I see a really big earth worm. So I bend down to get a closer look to see if it's dead or not....then it slithers...FAST.....oh my gosh....there is nothing I'm more scared of than a SNAKE. Now I'll was a baby snake, it really doesn't matter to me. I went out to the garage and did I ever have a hoe?  I thought I did, but I couldn't find it in the attic? I couldn't bother about climbing up in the attic to get it. If it's even up there. So all I can find is a rake. It'll have to do. I've never killed a snake before but I knew I had to. Good Gosh, I whacked that thing until I thought it couldn't I move it around and can't get it up on the tines of the rake. So I'm going to just push it out the door.....well, I must have just knocked it out because it rose from the dead and started slithering again. I became obsessed. I'm not sure how many tiles I've probably cracked but I finally put that snake out of it's misery. I kept flipping it around until I caught it mid-air onto one of the tines onto the rake. Carried it outside and across the street and tossed it out on the soccer field. I know I should feel bad about killing that baby snake but I am scared to death of them and no way could I get it out of my house alive. So I have a you think there might be another one in here with me? It was a baby snake so I'm worried there may be more???? Crap....I don't think I can go to sleep tonight and that's not good. I've got a tee time at 10 in the morning......Since typing this I'll bet I've looked down at my feet 50 times.

Scared  Sh#%less


The Masters Posted on Apr 08, 2010 at 07:34 AM

Hi Gang....haven't posted in awhile. I've had a bit of blogger's block, much better to say than instead of nothing cool happening in my life right now....ha......anyway....the sun is out, looks like a bright day, and The Masters starts officially today. So it's ALL GOOD!


I am pumped about the Masters this year. The anticipation of Tiger coming back, will he fall on his face or take his crown back? I would like to see him do well, but my heart belongs to Ernie Els. I really want The Big Easy to take it this year.


Did anyone catch the new Nike commercial? Not sure how I feel about that. I think Nike should stay out of the rehab business and stick to selling shoes. Billy Payne's speech sounded more like he was preaching and lecturing, even though it was written well. I thought the timing was awful.


Have a great day ya'll,



Hi-jacking a Blog Posted on Feb 25, 2010 at 05:25 PM

I've heard this term before and I'm sure I'm guilty of it. I just want it on record that I don't mean to trespass in this way and if I have I'm sorry.....but..... Is it really a bad thing? I know it's not a good thing to respond to some one's blog and then pose another question off topic and turn it into 'what about me' kind of thing. What I'm talking about is, when we write a blog and start getting responses, I for one, love the witty comments that result and yes it tends to go off topic, but it's because someone says one thing.....makes someone else think of something else and comments, etc etc. but I love it. I don't think of it as hi-jacking. I think it is more of a group of people sitting around and bouncing stories, ideas and jokes...poking fun and having fun. I like that feeling of camaraderie. Is this something that really upsets fellow bloggers? It doesn't upset me...I just like to exchange ideas. Now if someone were to respond to this with...."Hey did any of you see Crazy Heart, I think it might win the Oscar"....Ok...that might make me pout, however I would probably respond that I saw it and loved

Just rambling here but curious about the hi-jack thing.

New in blogging,