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The Horrible Letter E Posted on Dec 16, 2008 at 09:09 PM
A mom and pop business being open 7 days a week, left the married couple having to take separate vacations. One day the elderly man was telling me how the letter "e" almost caused him a terrible divorce. He continued to tell me about the card he sent to his wife. "Having a great time and lots of fun, wish you were her."
Letter to the Bank Posted on Nov 30, 2008 at 10:11 AM
To Whom it may concern, In lieu of what seems to be happening internationally with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could advise me? If one of my checks is returned marked "Insufficient Funds," how do I know whether that refers to me or to you?
Chrisitmas Delay Posted on Nov 30, 2008 at 07:18 AM
It seems that Christmas might be a little delayed this year.
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Letter to a Husband Posted on Nov 29, 2008 at 08:17 PM
To my darling husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife, XoXoXo PS. your girlfriend called
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What have I done??? Posted on Nov 28, 2008 at 01:00 PM
Have I done anyone here any wrong? I have met only a few on this site. Those that I have met and went to see, I gave of myself asking of nothing in return. I have conducted myself as a perfect gentleman to the few women I have met on here. I don't know of anyone that would say anything bad about me. I am a very giving man and would help anyone in need. I gave monetarily, spiritually and physically of myself in order for others to have a better life. I laugh when I get blocked by others as I have no clue what has been done or said to warrant said actions. I mean no harm to others and I try to avoid any actions that might offend others. Tell me what I have done wrong and I will try to correct my mistakes. I look to better myself everyday and hope that someone can be up front and tell me if I do something or say something wrong. We learn by our mistakes only if we know we made a mistake.
Gods Problem Now Posted on Nov 21, 2008 at 03:08 PM
When the graveside service had no more than terminated, There was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
No Hard feelings Posted on Nov 15, 2008 at 11:23 PM
As everyone knows. I am a republican. I was not in favor of a democrat taking office. My party lost, your party won. So let us be friends, Let arguments pass. I'll hug my elephant, You kiss your ass.
Best Campaign Button Posted on Oct 31, 2008 at 11:11 PM
The best Campaign button this year.
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I'm Voting Democrat Posted on Oct 24, 2008 at 12:39 PM
I'm voting Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse. I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius. I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit. I'm voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters. I'm voting Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my @#% it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view. "A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own"
SIGN OF THE TIMES Posted on Oct 15, 2008 at 08:58 PM
Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze? Doesn't look good to me.
Economic reversals Posted on Oct 15, 2008 at 08:49 PM
Due to recent economic reversals and the rising cost of electricity, gas,and oil, the 'light at the end of the tunnel' has been turned off. We apologize for any inconvenience. Sincerely, Your United States Government
Pulling the Blogs Posted on Oct 14, 2008 at 08:37 PM
Seems that a couple of my blogs got pulled. Yes, they were political and they were against Obama. I guess they must have been pretty close to home. How sad it is that we can't share what we read with others. The blogs were cartoons from Australia and their views on American politics. How sad it is that we can not share some things with others on the MM site. I mean no malice nor harm to anybody and didn't feel this was doing any harm. Sometimes life just sucks.
StockMarket Advice Posted on Oct 13, 2008 at 01:07 AM
Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or selling of stocks, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON. Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks: American Can, Interstate Water, National Gas Company, Northern Tissue Company. Due to uncertain market conditions, I advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean. It's a tough market out there. Be careful!
The USA bail out or Blow out Posted on Oct 05, 2008 at 07:59 PM
First we need to figure out where we were when things were fine... Greenspan was running the finances. The fuel costs were $2.50 a gallon, the Republicans were the majority in congress and everyone was able to afford their Mortgages. Problems arose; In 2006, Democrats became the majority in congress. Bernankee took over for Greenspan and raised the interest rates. People had a hard time making their Mortgages. Fuel rose to almost $5.00 a gallon. People worked for less money as lay-offs were increasing in the work force. Politicians are getting their cost of living increases while the American people are loosing their homes. I really think Politicians should wear outfits like race car drivers,,, that way we would know who their sponsors are. The USA is giving out more than 700 billion dollars a year in Foreign oil. It is said that the USA has 2 and a half times more oil than the rest of the world. All we need to do is tap into it and the USA would be sound again. The USA needs to get back the money they gave away. The Politicians answer to the bail out. Loan the money to the big businesses so they can give the CEO's more money and the big money investors can recuperate their losses. After all is said and done, Politicians will pat themselves on the back and give themselves another raise for being so great. I'm sure we will still be loosing our houses to high mortgage payments and the Politicians will be trying to figure out why their plan didn't work as well as projected. They will give themselves another raise since they will have to work harder to figure out another bail out plan.
5 Ways How to Treat People Posted on Oct 05, 2008 at 07:18 PM
First Lesson - Cleaning Lady. A professor gave us a pop quiz. A conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until he read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?' Surely this was some kind of joke. The student had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would anyone know her name? After handing in the paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, the student asked if the last question would count toward the quiz grade. 'Absolutely, ' said the professor. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.' One should always know and acknowledge someone you see everyday. Her name was Dorothy.. 2. - Second Lesson - Picked up in the Rain One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: 'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.' Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.. 3- Third Lesson - Always remember those who serve. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. 'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked. 'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. 'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. 'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. 'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip. 4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition. 5 - Fifth Lesson - Giving When it Counts... Many years ago, a volunteer worked at a hospital, she got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. The volunteer saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. The most important thing in life is not money. It is our heart and how we use it.
Wyoming Hot Tubs Posted on Oct 05, 2008 at 02:37 PM
Sometimes sharing is not an option.
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SORRY Posted on Oct 01, 2008 at 02:15 AM
I don't think my last blog was that funny.... I think I was a little irritated. I have been complemented on my humor for those who do not know me. For those who do know me.... You know I could care less. Not much bothers me in this life. I am 55 and only have a few more years left here on earth. More that likely,,, I don't belong on this site;;;;
PEOPLE WHO DO NOT BELONG ON THIS SITE Posted on Oct 01, 2008 at 02:12 AM
I am sure there are a lot of people who do not belong on this site. We had all kinds of offers of help for us from newbees and we somehow are still here blogging away. I seem to remember a psychologist that joined just to help us out with our problems. Seems she didn't last very long. Now we have a newbee that is telling us who belongs and not belongs on this site. I am not a paying member and think it is ironic that someone comes and says who should be and who shouldn't be. Very few people on here know who I am and how much I have lost in the past few years. I do know or I believe that my net worth is still more than most people on this site. Who has the right to determine who should be and who shouldn't be on this site? I also see the woman who said that is not a paying member. What is with that??? You really think we can not afford a few dollars a month???? Get real Nippie!!! Pull your head out of that dark place in between your leggs!!! I hope you find the Millionaire of your dreams and he keeps you well... Maybe he can afford your membership fees on this site.
A LEGAL QUESTION ? Posted on Sep 12, 2008 at 03:27 PM
Is this statutory rape???
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