Yesterday my X and I made peace with each other.
After learning some pretty ?not so pretty? facts about myself and how I was in our marriage, I took the initiative to contact him. I apologized for the things I now know I did / did not do to make our marriage successful. I acknowledged him for the good that he brought into our relationship as a husband and the great father that he is. I acknowledged that he deserves to be happy and to have the right woman in his life. I spoke from my heart as I?ve never spoken before. I meant every word I said. After I said what I had to say, I asked if there was anything else he needed to hear from me.
My intent and sole purpose for our meeting was to apologize to him and take full responsibility for my part in the break up. I had no expectation of whether or not he should even listen, no expectation of getting an apology from him in return. I took a risk of being called many not so ?pretty? names and of being rejected. I was clear that more hurt could result. But I also realized that it could no longer be about me. It had to be about what?s best for our relationship as parents of two wonderful young men. Either way there was a lesson for me to learn from this experience. What I received in return was an offer from him to take me out for dinner, he asked if he could give me a hug (and I accepted and reciprocated), he offered to help me should I need it or want it some time in the future. He apologized for his part in the breakup and asked if there was anything I needed to hear from him that I?ve never heard from him before. I did not have a list. I have not made one up nor do I intend to.
I know that we are both at peace to continue our journeys and to move on. For the first time in our lives we spoke with one another as we never did before. I wish this kind of closure and peace for each and every person on this site and in the world.
After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean
leaning and company,
and it doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because you never know what will happen tomorrow.
After awhile you learn that
even sunshine burns if you get too much.
And you learn to plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth
Just my way of sharing...........
Happy Easter / passover to all here on MM
What holds you back from being and doing more?
Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to understand that ALL problems are rooted inside us. Even the blocks that appear to be outside of us are only reflecting back an issue we have inside that we have not yet owned. Once we address our inner issue, the outer situation no longer troubles us.
The buck always stops with us. We step into our power when we accept responsibility for our lives.
"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ?Why me?? becomes a theme song."
-- Roger Dawson
"...look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: ?It's up to me.?"
-- Arthur Freeman
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for college: drink alcohol, party, and you?re pretty much a free spirit.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case. LOL...a different perspective for sure
This is a bit long but worth reading. Wish I'd remembered this story this morning as I spoke to someone I love.
A certain good woman one day said something that hurt her best friend of many years. She regretted it immediately, and would have done anything to have taken the words back. But they were said, impulsively, in a moment of thoughtlessness, and as close as she and her friend were, she didn't consider the effects of her words before hand. What she said hurt the friend so much that this good woman was herself hurt for the pain she caused.
In her effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village. Explaining her situation, and asked for advice. The older woman listened patiently in an effort to determine just how sincere the younger woman was, how far she was willing to go to correct the situation. She explained that sometimes, in order put things back in order, great efforts must be made. She then asked: "Just what would you be willing to do,
to repair the harm done?" The answer was heartfelt. "Anything." Listening to her, the older woman, sensed the younger woman's distress, and knew she must help her. She also knew she could never alleviate her pain by living her life for her, but she could teach, if the younger woman would first listen, and then learn. She knew the outcome would depend solely on the character of the younger woman. She said, "There are two things needed to do to make amends. The first of the two is extremely difficult. Tonight, take your best feather pillows, and open a small hole in each one. Then, before the sun rises, you must put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town. When you are through, come back to me. If you've done the first thing completely, I'll tell you the second. The young woman hurried home to prepare for her chore, even though the pillows were very dear to her, very expensive. All night long she labored alone in the cold. She went from doorstep to doorstep, taking care not to overlook a single house. Her
fingers were frozen, the wind was so sharp it caused her eyes to water, but she ran on, through the darkened streets, thankful there was something she could do to put things back the way they once were. Finally, as the sky was getting light, she placed the last feather on the steps of the last house.
Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older woman. She was exhausted, but relieved that her efforts would be rewarded. "My pillows are empty. I placed a feather on the doorstep of each home." Now, said the wise woman, "Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before." The young woman was stunned. "You know that's impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps!! You didn't say I had to get them back!! If this is the second requirement, then things will never be the same." "That's true", said the older woman. "Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can ever return them to your mouth. Choose your words well, and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love."
Have you spoken words that you wished you could take right back?