Howto Dance in the Rain
Posted on Sep 15, 2008 at 12:03 PM
I just received this and thought I would share it with you..........
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is,
Has been, will be, and will not be.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to dance in the rain..
Posted on Sep 07, 2008 at 12:42 PM
This zeroes in on the gut issue quickly! Are we all aboard the USS Ship of Fools?
The first time I read this quote, I thought it was dangerously true. Then I really started pondering it and thought
how would this apply to our own lives/careers? Let's look at it again to see how absurd it is.
You couldn't get a job at McDonalds and become district manager after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.
You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't join the military and become a colonel after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.
BUT.... 'From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a
Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate.
That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working.
After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free
World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days?
We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start.
AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public seems to feel comfortable with this and campaigning for him.
We wouldn't accept this in our own line of work, yet some are OK with this for the President of the United States of
Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol.
You Want Change?????
Posted on Aug 04, 2008 at 10:10 AM
Hey guys...facts are facts!!
This has to make you think a little bit, if not then keep your blinders on!
George Bush has been in office for 7 1/2 years. The first six the economy was fine.
A little over one year ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.
4) the DOW JONES hit a record high--14,000 +
5) American's were buying new cars, taking cruises, vacations o'seas, living large!...
But American's wanted 'CHANGE'!
So, in 2006 they voted in a Democratic Congress & yep--we got 'CHANGE' all right.
In the PAST YEAR:
1) Consumer confidence has plummeted;
2) Gasoline is now over $4 a gallon & climbing!;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $12 TRILLION
DOLLARS & prices still dropping;
5) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.
6) as I write, THE DOW is probing another low~~11,100-- $2.5 TRILLION DOLLARS HAS EVAPORATED FROM THEIR STOCKS, BONDS & MUTUAL FUNDS INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS!
YEP, IN 2006 AMERICA VOTED FOR CHANGE!...AND WE SURE AS HELL GOT IT!!!....NOW OBAMA, the DEM'S CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT--AND THE POLLS SAY HE'S GONNA BE 'THE MAN'--CLAIMS HE'S GONNA REALLY GIVE US CHANGE!!
JUST HOW MUCH MORE 'CHANGE' DO YA THINK YOU CAN STAND???.....
Posted on Aug 02, 2008 at 05:41 AM
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a
sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We didn't know what to call her so we just named her 'Pussy-cat.' We felt so sorry for her we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
Now my husband and the vet do NOT get along. The vet calls my husband
'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the Vet 'El-Charge-O'.
They love to hate each other and constantly snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us
know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she really stinks. 'He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty old cat anyway, not him.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is
located in the same building, right next door to the vet.
The MD's waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive and decided to get his revenge.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and by the way, I think she's
pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door behind him, leaving my husband behind to face the gapes, snickers and guffaws of the waiting room patients.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even! (or maybe even ahead)
*From an email from a friend in Michigan. Too good not to share.
Posted on Jul 27, 2008 at 02:19 PM
A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'
The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'
Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me an Obama fan.'
Origin of the Internet
Posted on Jul 27, 2008 at 08:31 AM
Just got this in the mail today. Thought it was clever enough to share. Enjoy!
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader called Abraham of Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot of Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Dot Com'.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, 'Why dost thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?'
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, 'How, dear?'
And Dot replied, 'I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS).'
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy A man named Maccabia did secrete (look it up, it means to hide) himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, 'Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.'
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known 'eBay' he said, 'We need a name that reflects what we are.'
And Dot replied 'Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.'
'!' said Abraham.
And that is how it all began.
Al Gore had absolutely nothing to do with it.
A BAD AMERICAN
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 at 03:06 PM
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, or anything else, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them..
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!
Strange SEX LAWS, etc.........
Posted on Jun 20, 2008 at 11:06 AM
Proof That The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination.. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesiais decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind"!)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.(But of course!)
In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception:
Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of???)
(Bet the government payed for this research !!)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too!)
And, the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And you thought you had bad breath in the morning!)
Tax The Rich????
Posted on Mar 03, 2008 at 01:51 PM
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are
all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he
proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right,"
exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all
of them for even half of the bill!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
And Barack Obama and the do nothing Democrat congress have promised to RAISE taxes on the rich.
God Help Us All.
Who's Yo Daddy?
Posted on Jun 15, 2008 at 07:11 PM
The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child
Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's details'; or putting it another way, Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was
fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure as to the identity of the
father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide
you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a
man I met that night.. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send
me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's
had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am
Awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate
and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications
for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the
Country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same
8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,
can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also
borned at the same time ... Well, I don't have a clue.
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney
World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur.. The only thing that I remember
for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
8956 Miller Avenue, mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all,
Like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support them.
Posted on Jun 10, 2008 at 03:46 PM
The purpose of fighting is to win.
There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and
skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
As John Steinbeck once said:
1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.
2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
3. I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.
4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The
reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and
asked him 'Why do you carry a .45?'
The Ranger responded, 'Because
they don't make a 46.'
6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady
commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'
8. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE
But wait, there's more!
I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I did. She said 'Well I certainly hope it
isn't loaded!' To which I said, Of course it's loaded, it won't work
without bullets!' She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of some one evil coming into your house?' My reply was, 'No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.'
To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank. I'm a firm believer of the 2nd Amendment! If you are too, please forward.
"The true soldier fights
not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves
what is behind him."
G. K. Chesterton
Italian Humor : )
Posted on Jun 08, 2008 at 07:30 AM
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature distinguished man with gray hair, impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take full responsibility."
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $ 2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and says;
"You gonna try again."
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???
Posted on Jun 07, 2008 at 04:27 AM
BARACK OBAMA : The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
CHENEY : Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE : I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER , CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
NOW ADD YOUR OWN REASON AND PASS IT ON!!
From Jay Leno
Posted on Jun 06, 2008 at 07:29 PM
No matter what your political convictions are this is eye opener.
What a thankless people we are!
Jay Leno wrote this; it's the Jay Leno we don't often see...
As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.
'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?''
A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?
B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?
C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.
H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.
J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.
K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?
Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U. S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it... are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?
Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O. J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way... Insane!
Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.'
'With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'
How to decide Who to Marry
Posted on Jun 04, 2008 at 11:04 PM
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?Both don't want any more kids.-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?When they're rich.-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.-- Ricky, age 10
Charles Schultz Philosophy
Posted on Jun 03, 2008 at 08:32 AM
The Charles Schulz Philosophy
(This is marvelous!! Scroll thru slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy full effect)
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.
You don't have to actually answer the questions.
Just read it straight through, and you'll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials..the most money...or the most awards.
They simply are the ones who care the most.
'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia!'
''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!?
Posted on May 30, 2008 at 10:42 AM
Taycot's NC Blog got me thinking about my own quest for Paradise.
I want to find a place in the country ( like NW Lower Michigan's Resort area where I grew up ) but without the extreme climate.
I've checked out NC and think it is almost perfect except I don't want to live on the side of a mountain. I would rather have 5 or 10 acres of forest and fields in God's Country, not too far from a small city, with gently rolling land and a Lake nearby.
I'm going back home to Northern Michigan this summer to see family and friends but I'm thinking of checking out Tennessee on the way.
Does anyone know of a small resort area in Middle or East Tennessee that I should explore?
The Perfect Solution
Posted on May 22, 2008 at 03:50 PM
Every once in a while, I get an original idea that seems so logical that I just have to share it. This one came to me the other day and I think it has great merit. If you think so too, I hope you pass it on to everyone you know and help cause a groundswell of support that reaches the highest offices in Washington.
THE PERFECT SOLUTION
#1 - AMERICA IS ADDICTED AND DEPENDENT ON OIL.
#2 - WE NEED AN IMMEDIATE SOURCE OF REASONABLY PRICED OIL.
#3 - WE NEED IT NOW AND FOR THE FORESEABLE FUTURE, UNTIL WE CAN EXPLORE OUR OWN VAST SUPPLY AS WELL AS ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF ENERGY.
#4 - WITHOUT IT, WE ARE GOING TO DIVE INTO AN ECONOMIC DEPRESSION DEEPER THAN ANYONE OF US CAN IMAGINE. LOOK AROUND YOU?. IT HAS ALREADY STARTED.
#5 - IRAQ HAS ONE OF THE LARGEST OIL SUPPLIES ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND IS PUMPING IT NOW.
#6 - WE HAVE LIBERATED IRAQ AND SPENT HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS AS WELL AS THOUSANDS OF AMERICAN LIVES TO DO SO.
#7 - IRAQ OWES US AN INCALCULABLE DEBT FOR THEIR FREEDOM FROM TRYANNY AND OUR CONTINUED COMMITMENT TO THEIR SECURITY.
#8 - IT?S TIME IRAQ MADE AN EFFORT TO REPAY THEIR DEBT TO AMERICA.
#9 ? WE WILL TAKE 100% OF IRAQ?S OIL PRODUCTION AT THE WORLD?S GOING RATE.
#10 ? WE WILL PAY 50% IN CASH AND THE OTHER 50% WILL APPLY TOWARD REDUCING THEIR DEBT TO THE USA.
THE RESULT? PROBLEM SOLVED AND DISASTER AVERTED. ANYONE ELSE HAVE A BETTER IDEA?
Writers Note: While not politically correct, I think this is a perfectly logical proposition. Is it na?ve? Maybe. Is it too much to ask of Iraq? I don?t think so. Should everyone in America read this email and pass it on? You be the judge.
I Wish You Enough..........
Posted on May 22, 2008 at 09:25 AM
Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments
together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, 'I
love you and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough.
Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.'
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window
where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to
cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by
asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be
'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a
'I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the
reality is -- the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.'
May I ask what that means?'
She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other
generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment
and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even
more. 'When we said , 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other
person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain
Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting
it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray
the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away, forever.
And so, This is my Wish for you.................
I WISH YOU ENOUGH
NEW RULES 2008
Posted on May 17, 2008 at 06:05 AM
New Rules for 2008
Internet, ... Stop giving me that pop-up ad for "Old Classmates"! There's a reason we don't talk to people for 25, 30 or 40 years. It's because we don't particularly like them!!! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days. He's mowing my lawn!
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, ... it cost less than a dollar! What did you expect it to contain, ... trout !?!?
Ladies, ... leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows. Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket. Water, .. . without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a 'soft drink'. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice, and let it melt. There's your flavored water!
Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a re-designed pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target !!! You just solved the Social Security crisis !!!
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order an "Iced vanilla decaf grande half-soy/half-low-fat, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra-dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n-Low, and one NutraSweet,'... oooh, ... you're a huge asshole !!!
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing 'Enter', verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. Not to mention that it's right above the crack of your ass, and translates to 'beef with broccoli'! The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the 'Seven Deadly Sins'. ESPN recently televised the 'U.S. Open of Competitive Eating', because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting?! Oh wait! They're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show'.
I don't need bigger, 'mega M&Ms'. If I'm extra-hungry for M&Ms, ... I'll go nuts and eat two!
No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies, and new homes, and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want, and having other people buy it for you, isn't 'gift-giving'. It's white people's version of looting.
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. 'He's two,' will do just fine, ... not '27 months.' He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
If you ever hope to be a credible adult, and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If you do, then plan your future around saying, ... 'Do you want fries with that?'
Anyone else care to add to these?