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Is Online Dating an Illusion? 70 Views 05/17/13
According to John C. Bridges, author of The llusion of Intimacy: Problems in the World of Online Dating, digital technology is fundamentally changing the landscape of intimacy and mating in America. Bridges refers to this technological dating as an "illusion."  Here's why:
1.  Lies and more lies: Bridges research indicates the vast majority of people misrepresent themselves in their online profiles.
2.  Lust at first site: Bridges seems to believe that, rather than love, there is “lust at first sight.” He offers one question that may predict a second meeting: “Can I see myself in bed with this person?”
3. Clicking addiction: The Internet itself represents a reward system that can be addictive, with each click revealing a potential liaison with a new partner. Bridges refers to the irony of excessive online searching for a partner as having attention consequences. As in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, incessant computer use can distract the individual from real-life relationships.
4. Destined to fail: Bridges reveals that the majority of online relationships fail. This is possibly due to the competition and large numbers of potential mates online, which can encourage a never-ending search for new partners.
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What Makes You Click? 59 Views 05/17/13
Three scholars from the University of Chicago and Duke took at a look at online daters to see what makes them "click."  They wanted to know what are the "mate preferences" between men and women in online dating.  Here are the results:

    1. There is no strategy employed by any gender.

    2. Men and women prefer someone like themselves (i.e., attributes, character, interests).

    3. There is a strong preference for dating the same race in both genders.

    4. Women prefer men with high incomes; men prefer women who are attractive.  This was the only unique difference between the sexes.


In layman's terms, men want hot same-race women like themselves and women want rich same-race men like themselves.
 
Source: Hitsch, G. J., Hortaçsu, A., & Ariely, D. (2010). What makes you click?—Mate preferences in online dating. Quantitative Marketing and Economics, 8(4), 393-427.
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Attractiveness and Internet Dating 69 Views 05/16/13
Attractive people are considered by others to have many positive qualities than "non-attractive" people (Dion, Bersheid, & Walster, 1972). In internet dating, individuals with attractive profile photos are viewed more favorably than others on many levels (Fiore, Shaw Taylor, Mendelsohn, & Hearst, 2008). Rebecca J. Brand, Abigail Bonatsos, Rebecca D’Orazio, and Hilary DeShong (2012) from Villanova University have shown those with attractive online photos are rated high.  Specifically, attractive people are typically perceived as being more competent, intelligent, socially-skilled, and well-adjusted (Feingold, 1992).  Counter to this, there is research to show attractive people (especially women) suffer from higher levels of insecurity.  In essence, others perceive attractive people positively but attractive people don't always feel that way about themselves.
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Uncertainty Reduction in Online Dating 27 Views 05/16/13
Research by Berger and Calabrese has show when faced with a stranger there is a need to reduce uncertainty.  This is usually done through information seeking or communication.  This holds very true in online dating.  Unfortunately, the research also shows many people lie in online dating.  This leads to a vicious cycle of mistrust.  I find that to be true first-hand. Because some low-life guy lied to a woman I am treated with even more uncertainty.  Now, I don't blame women for that.  It's best to be careful.  It is just sad that online dating has come to epitomize lack of trust.
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7 Shared Qualities of Fake Profiiles 67 Views 05/14/13
A 2013 study of 60,000 deleted profiles from SeekingArrangments website and published in Business Insider found the 7 most shared qualities.




  1. 82% of the 60,000 banned accounts listed their religion as "Catholic."

  2. 63% of the 60,000 banned accounts listed their relationship status as "widowed." Scammers use this to play the sympathy card.

  3. 71% of the 60,000 banned accounts said they were "females."

  4. Scammers like to appear smart too. 54% of the 60,000 banned accounts said they had a Ph.D. and 37% said they had a graduate degree.

  5. Many scammers list their location abroad. 28% of the fake accounts said they were based in Nigeria. 23% were in Ukraine. 21% were in the Philippines.

  6. 36% of the 60,000 banned accounts listed their ethnicity as "Native American." 19% said they were "mixed."

  7. 26% of the 60,000 banned accounts listed their employment as "Engineer." 25% said they were "royalty." 23% listed themselves as "self-employed."





 
 
 
 
 
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Men like their women dumped 95 Views 05/13/13
Research shows men prefer women who were dumped by their last boyfriends, while women prefer men who initiated their last breakup. When a man initiates a breakup, his actions reinforce the male dominance that is inherent to gender roles. Therefore, knowing his prospective girlfriend was dumped reassures him that he'll be the one in control. On the other hand, when women leave their boyfriends, guys may consider them high-maintenance and picky, which could also make them worry that she will eventually reject him as well. Meanwhile, women prefer guys who initiated their last breakup because it suggests that he isn't hung up on his ex.

Source: Stanik, C., Kurzban, R., & Ellsworth, P. (2010). Rejection hurts: The effect of being dumped on subsequent mating efforts. Evolutionary psychology: an international journal of evolutionary approaches to psychology and behavior, 8(4), 682.
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Fault-Focused Dating 35 Views 05/13/13
A newly published meta-analysis of over 400 studies of online dating support its popularity (second only to meeting through friends).  Unfortunately, online daters are fault-focused or view profiles and then actual dates from a negative viewpoint.  This leads to quick exits when relationships inevitably get complicated.

Source: Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online Dating A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3-66.
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Love Arranged or In Love? Which is Better? 35 Views 05/13/13
Dr Robert Epstein of Harvard did research that suggests those in arranged marriages - or who have had their partner chosen for them by a parent or matchmaker - tend to feel more in love as time grows, whereas those in regular marriages feel less in love over time.
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Interesting Stats for Online Dating 85 Views 05/12/13
Interesting stats for online dating:
Source: Reuters, Herald News, PC World, Washington Post







































































Type of hair color most people are attracted to 
Blonde32 %
Brown16 %
Black16 %
Don’t Mind16 %
Red8 %
Bald8 %
Gray4 %
Girls Prefer 
Nice Guys38 %
Bad Guys15 %
Blend of Both34 %
Any man I can get6 %
Guys Prefer 
The modern career girl42 %
The girl next door type34 %
The hottie24 %
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Women are pickier 42 Views 05/12/13
Researchers led by Peter M. Todd, of the cognitive science program at Indiana University, Bloomington and published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that when given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks while women are far more selective.  "Women made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with the women's self-rated attractiveness. They didn't greatly overshoot their attractiveness," Todd said, "because part of the goal for women is to choose men who would stay with them" But, he added, "they didn't go lower. They knew what they could get and aimed for that level."
Women's choices in men, the study showed were far more discriminating than men's. 
Source: cited above
 
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90% of Dating Fraud Perpetrated on 20 and 30 -Aged Women 48 Views 05/12/13
Ever wonder who are the biggest victims of dating scams?  It turns out 20-30 something year old women are the biggest victims of fraud by dating scammers.  Based on 41,093 cases of fraud reported to the Criminal Investigation Bureau (CIB) in Taiwan, this age and gender group were the most targeted.  Of course, these are statistics from Taiwan and not other countries.  Still, it is an eye opener.
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Research says people go for hotties 49 Views 05/12/13
This should be no surprise, but research by Dr. Allison Lenton from the University of Edinburgh in the  UK has found that in speed dating or online dating, when given lots of choices, people go for hotties.  Her study found the very attractive got most of the attention or dating offers while the unattractive got few or none. 
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Triangle Love Theory 81 Views 05/06/13
Ever heard of the Triangular Theory of Love?  It's interesting.  Robert Sternberg created this theory in 1986. In this model, all love is composed of three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Intimacy involves closeness, caring, and emotional support. Passion refers to states of emotional and physiological arousal. This includes sexual arousal and physical attraction as well as other kinds of intense emotional experiences.  Commitment involves a decision to commit to loving the other and trying to maintain that love over time.

Sternberg described eight different kinds of love based on this triangle:


1. non-love (low on all 3 elements),
2. liking (high on intimacy only),
3. infatuated love (passion only),
4. empty love (commitment only),
5. romantic love (intimacy and passion),
6. compassionate love (intimacy and commitment),
7. fatuous love (passion and commitment),
8. and consummate love (all three together).
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Scammers and more scammers 178 Views 05/05/13
I get about 6 or more scammers per day visiting my profile.  It's easy to spot them.  They have the 1-2 photos that are highly professional or they have very poor English grammar.  I've learned to spot them almost immediately.  One of my favorite tools is Google reverse images.  I just check out their photo and... Bingo... Google tells me they are NOT WHO THEY CLAIM TO BE. 
I report them to MM and they are banished from the site. 
 
I don't blame MM.  They honestly try to catch them.  In fact, I give them credit for finding them before I do.  I used to get more than 6 per day but they MM has gotten better at catching them.   I appreciate the integrity they are trying to uphold.
 
I often wonder if they are some GUY sending me messages from some remote area in Africa.  It's got to be a lousy job.  Who knows.
 
Wishing you all the best in your genuine search.
 
Orlando
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Is there ethnic bias among online daters? 355 Views 08/28/12
Is there ethnic bias among online daters?  Apparently the answer is yes.  Gerald A. Mendelsohn, a professor in the psychology department at the University of California, Berkeley has found “a very high rate of same-ethnicity dating.”  He found 80 percent of the contacts initiated by white members were to other white members, and only 3 percent to black members.  Black members were less rigid: they were 10 times more likely to contact whites than whites were to contact blacks.  He didn’t address other ethnicities in his study.
Source: NY Time: 11/12/11,
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What Creates Chemistry? 242 Views 08/26/12
This is a semi-rhetorical question:  What creates chemistry in a relationship?  From a research viewpoint I know the answer since I'm a professor.  A study done by Peretti and friends found the following 6 areas need to work together (much like baking a cake) to create chemistry.  The ranking is also listed by order of importance by individuals in the study. 

  1. physical attractiveness 

  2. similarity

  3. spontaneous communication

  4. reciprocity

  5. warm personality

  6. longing


That's all well and good intellectually, but in reality I have been divorced 5 years and chemistry doesn't come easily to me (or not at all honestly).  I can get some of these but not all the ducks line up. 

Source: Peretti, Peter O.; Abplanalp, Richard R.  Social Behavior and Personality: an international journal, Volume 32, Number 2, 2004 , pp. 147-154(8)
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