I dare you. I dare you to look within and find your confidence. Confidence allows you to move forward and to expect success rather then to fear failure.
When our confidence is lacking there is a strong self-doubt at work. You can not move forwards in your dreams and goals if you have self-doubt. An inability to believe in yourself ties you in knots and makes it impossible to succeed. It is a tormenting fear. It stems in being wrong in who you are and an inability to accept your self and to have the confidence in decisions you make in life. The result is a confusion that can be overwhelming. You are indecisive for fear of being wrong. Self-doubt pretty much means being double minded. It is unstable in all ways. It can cause you to shrink back and hide in fear instead of moving forward and taking chances. Fear prevents your progress in your destiny. You should have the power of love, calm, well-balanced mind, discipline and self-confidence.
Self-doubt comes often as a result of growing up or living in dysfunctional relationships. You end up believing that bad things will happen and so you expect them to happen. You grow to expect and therefore you won't have any disappointments when they do happen. It leads to self-doubts and a very negative attitude. You must relearn to say NO to fear and doubts and to say YES I CAN DO IT instead.
The first step in confidence is to make up your mind to not show fear in your life. You must walk in power and love and a sound mind. You need to see yourself as being worthy of love. You are a special and unique creation. Faith in yourself expects good things to happen to you. It enables you to accept and deal with the mistakes you make. It allows you to feel safe and live without worry or fear. It increases your
understanding and acceptance of yourself and allows you to be more secure and better able to face situations that come our way. Confidence allows you to lean on, trust in and depend on your strengths. And it teaches us how to do this with others likewise.
We all have a free will. You can exercise willpower to make decisions. You can override negativity by exercising your willpower to believe. The more you practice believing in yourself the easier it becomes in time. So Dare to take a look inside your mind. What do you see there? Do you see self- doubts? Or do you see a Confidence from knowing and believing in a deep unconditional love. I want to encourage you to renew your mind and to see the beauty that is within you. Don't let feelings rule your life anymore! Take a step forward and believe. YOU ARE VALUABLE AND SPECIAL.
So what do you have to loose? Look at all that you have to gain though by
daring. So I DARE YOU.
I remember the screaming. Hearing that sheer terror in the voices. I grabbed my cell phone as I ran out the door and running down the street dialing 911. It's pure chaos at the top of the street and there laying on the curb along one driveway is one young man. Frustration as 911 has me on hold I go to him. No one is helping him and he's just laying there. Doing a quick visual assessment of his injuries I tell his friend to come and apply pressure to the worst of the wounds. Finally getting through to an operator and being told that Police are on the scene, I remember giving her hell and telling her that we need an ambulance immediately and the seriousness of the wounds. I hear a neighbour near me commenting "stupid teens". Does it matter if they are teens or not, this boy is hurt and needs help. Trying to calm his girlfriend down and to get him to calm down. Telling him to focus on his mother and family. To focus on living. To focus on his friends. There is so much blood. But he's still talking and is watching me, as I simply hold his feet up and stroke his leg reassuring. What is taking the paramedics so long? Why is no one else trying to help? Everyone is running around in pure chaos, there needs to be some order and comfort given. Finally a paramedic arrives and I move away to move people back to give him room. As the shirt is cut away the severity of the wounds shocks even me. This kid should be dead. Why was this done to him? I sense that he's a good guy and just an innocent victim, and this is later confirmed. He was trying to protect his friend's girlfriend from being assaulted by younger teen boys. His friend never made it though and died that night.
There were other adults all around and yet not one stepped up and tried to help. One neighbour had done all she could at the start of this and called police on being woken up. She's badly shaken as this all happened on her front lawn and pretty much in front of her eyes. Holding so many people that night in comforting, supportive hugs. Yet there were men there who never even tried to help and merely gawked. The excuses I hear from people as to why not to get involved make me sicker then the sight of those wounds.
Why don't people want to get involved?
I came back tonight to read the blogs after a long break and I guess I had hoped for something different. Yet here we are once again. Different players but it's the same old story. I guess I really don't understand it.
I've been on the internet for the past 12 years. I've seem a lot over those years. Had to deal with a lot too. But in the end I guess experiences offer clarity of mind. What most of you don't understand is that in your constant bickering and name calling just how immature and demeaning you are portraying yourselves. Let's face it, seriously this is the behaviour we expect from teenagers. Have some simply not grown up? Do you feel that everything anyone else does has to be taken personally as a strike against you? Is jealousy THAT comsuming? Why do people intentionally try to hurt others? Yes it's hard to turn the other cheek and walk away, but not getting sucked into the fight actually makes you the better person in the long run. And think how much better you'll sleep at nights not having the emotional termoil in your lives caused by this crap. And YES it really DOES effect your personal life.
So can someone explain why this is going on again?
After taking on the children's playroom (aka Chaos Central) I sat down at my computer and decided to read a few of the online articles (especially any that didn't contain the names Spears or Trump). I came across this article and thought it was rather very important to share here. It's from the online version of CanadianLiving and penned by Julie Beun-Chown.
Spot the psychopath
In film, a psychopath is easy to spot; he?s the guy with the charming smile, snaky eyes and knife up his sleeve. In real life, psychopaths can really only be diagnosed by professionals. But, say the experts, there are a few clues.
? Pity play: Psychopaths use our sympathy because we blindly believe they deserve it. "Consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behaviour with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person?s forehead as you will ever be given," says Martha Stout, a clinical psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School.
? Manipulative: Emotional puppeteers to the core, psychopaths love to make people jump, "even if it?s not to their benefit," says Stout. "If you?re left wondering why, or thinking there was no sense in what happened, that?s a red flag."
? Parasitical: Whether they use charm and manipulation or the pity play to meet their needs, "they prefer living off the work of others rather than their own efforts," says Robert Hare in Vancouver, a world authority on psychopathy.
? Deceitful: Big or little, deception is a tool of the trade. "Their lies are always woven with a thread of truth," warns Hare, "which, if questioned, they indignantly point out in their own defence."
? Charming: Compelling and charismatic, psychopaths are mesmerizing, like predators before the kill.
? Conceited: Psychopaths "think they?re the next step in evolution," says Hare, and they let it show with arrogance, boasting and undermining those around them.
? Not to blame: Not only do they never accept culpability, but psychopaths will also manufacture proof that puts others at fault.
? Reactionary: When it suits them, psychopaths can mask their anger, but will also "overreact in response to perceived personal insults or insufficient demonstration of respect for their authority," explains Hare.
? Risk-taking: Psychopaths never do dull, repetitive work but will lure others into taking financial, social or physical risks with them.
? Power-hungry: Attracted to positions of power, psychopaths are often found lurking in careers as politicians, lawyers, coaches, psychologists, counsellors and high school principals.
If you know a psychopath
You may think your love will cure him. Fuhgeddit. Psychopaths are untreatable. "People have a hard time getting their heads around that," says Donna Anderson, a U.S. journalist who launched lovefraud (sorry MM won't allow links so add the com at the end.)to educate the public after her husband defrauded her of $227,000 US.
If you know a psychopath, she says, "put up your guard and get him out of your life." If you are suspicious, trust your instincts and take these steps:
? Check her credentials, university or criminal records, past relationships and work history for inconsistencies.
? Look past the smoke screen. "No matter what, always evaluate a person on what he says and how he behaves rather than the front he puts up," says Robert Hare, a world authority on psychopathy.
? Get a second opinion from friends and family on whose honesty you can rely.
? Don?t cover for her. If she acts in an unprincipled or criminal way, don?t lie to protect her. It will only give her more leverage in your life.
*** now my notes***
Still more to think about in this dating world, but if it prevents one member from being hurt or taken then passing this information along was worth it.
Alright if we could go back one year from now the topic would be the same in this regard. Though the players different. To be rather frank, I didn't understand this at all. People are told the same information time and time again. It's the same information that I was given many years ago when I discovered the internet world, and it's the same speaches yet again.
There are people who intentionaly cause trouble and chaos, simply because they wish to and can. There are some who feel jilted or misunderstood and lash out in inappropriate and rather immature ways. There are going to be people who have much stronger opinions and tend to wish to force their opinions on others. But the one consistant thing remains with these people. Ignore them and in time they simple leave. I've worked as a moderator at a rather very large adult chat site and pretty much thought I had seen it all and had to deal with it. In the past few months I've had to deal with one person I'd befriended at this site who (in my personal opinion and I knew him very well) could use a little bit of a vacation between some white walls and someone to help him find some very constructive outlets. His behaviour was completely unacceptable towards others. He simply could not accept any one's rules or opinions and ways of thinking. Well I turn around and come here thinking that finally I'll be able to deal with adults again. Only to find that it's much the same. And what's more shocking I get accused of being a troll. That's actually laughable.
I guess what I have a hard time understanding is how people who are supposed to be adults can first of all act in such childish manners and secondly fail to undersatnd that we are all different. Not everyone is going to think exactly like you. I don't even want to be you, I rather enjoy simply being myself and being true to myself.
While we are different it's not hard to look at others and to accept and respect them for who they are. We might not even like them. But we should always respect them. It shouldn't matter where we are from, what religion we believe in (or don't believe in), what we eat (or don't eat in some cases LOL), what job we hold and especially what our social back ground it. We are ALL Humans. And therefore are deserving of respect.
There is One rule of life that is truly Golden; Treat every human being just the way you want to be treated". It applies to every single person on this plant. It applies to every aspect of our lives and should be used at all times. Why not try to remember this before posting on her? Would it hurt?
Now that applies to all Trolls, Demons (my mother swears I'm still half demon child LOL) and Witches. Let's unite and teach the mere mortals how to be human again by showing them some humanity.
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They are not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorifying or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them, because they change things. They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think that can change the world are the ones who do.
Not my words but very wise words penned for an "apple" commercial and sent to me by a friend.
Sometimes it's hard being different. Thinking differently then everyone else it seems. Not viewing the world with the same rose coloured glasses like your neighbour. Being pushed at, proded and told to conform to the ways of others. But who is to say that conforming is right for each of us. Being true to ourselves is what should be right. Daring to be different should be right. Thinking out side of the box and aiming for those stars. That should be right.
Dare to dream.
Dare to try.
Dare to fail.
Dare to succeed.
Around here, however, we don?t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things - because we're curious. And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. (Walt Disney)
We learn from our pasts. We dream of our futures. But the present is where we live. Dare to try and dare to make a difference. Even in some small way. Dare.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Life is going along perfectly when suddenly the unexpected happens and your world is turned upside down. Sometimes it doesn?t just rain but pours. One event after another until it seems like there is no way that it can get any worse and we?re looking up from the bottom of the pond scum of life. I find that most people when faced with the worst tend to feel a great deal of self pity and self loathing. I understand this all to well. All too often it feels like all hope has been lost and there is no way that this could ever get any better. Where do you go from here? How could this happen to such a good, nice person? Why me?
Watching a movie tonight had me thinking though. And of course those thoughts hit at the funniest times during the movie, which is rather typical of my warped mind. Perhaps what we see as being a bad event in turn somehow, and someday, turns out to be a complete blessing in disguise. When faced with cold hard facts, we can?t always see the light at the end of the tunnel. We might know it?s there but it?s so dark that we simply can?t see it. There just seems to be no hope. We?re too closed to the possibilities that are lying there, perhaps even within our grasp.
If someone had said 10 years ago that I would be where I am today I probably would have lost it and told them that there was absolutely no hope of that. In hindsight I can honestly look back and see myself at the low times in my life. Every time I thought it couldn?t get worse it did. The more I lost hope the worse it seemed to get also. And for a while I think I even just wanted to curl up in the winter snow and simply just slip away. For one reason or another that simply wasn?t possible.
Right now it really seems hard for me to hope that the series of unfortunate events that has lead to my being here, tonight and writing to you, I DO hope. I have hopes. I have dreams. I have visions of where my future is going to take me. This isn?t the ending this is merely the beginning. That ray of sunshine always follows even the worst storms in life. The tapestry of life merely awaits that first stroke of genius. And I know that the more paint that is applied the more the white of despair and pain is blotted out and the true masterpiece comes alive. The more the paint is applied the more we are able to believe in our dreams and hopes.
Thinking back this morning to all the festivities and wide eyed amazement and pure joy in children?s eyes I can say that sometimes all it takes is believing in our dreams to make them a reality. Have hope and dream of a masterpiece that leave even Angels in awe.
Merry Christmas Everyone.
I admit that I haven't kept up with what was going on on the blogs much in the past few months, reality has a way of intruding for all of us at the best of times. I see many new faces and I see some old ones gone. What I don't see really is any difference in blogland. The names have changed but it's the same situations and behaviors again and again. It's the same sort of he said she said and attacking. It saddens me to see some of the members gone due to this also. I actually thought that this site was for adults, but I guess the saying "We live what we learn" holds true even here and now. It seems rather ridiculous that some adults have never learned how to deal with confrontations and a differ of opinions in a mature and reasonable manner. We teach our children the three R's (Respect, Reason and Responsibility) yet the examples we give our children are exactly the opposite. And people wonder why there are major problems in modern society?!?!
Here we are heading into the season of Peace and Giving and all I see about me here is Taking and Flaring tempers. When was the last time that each of you remembered that at the other end of a name is a real person. Even trolls can be real people. Alright, admittedly shallow if they insist upon playing games, but sadly society has always had shallow characters. Every person has feelings and the right to be respected, do they not? Regardless of ethnic background, religion, education, age and so on. Once you go past all these differences we're really all the same anyways. So why is everyone so intent on attacking each other?
Just my thoughts for today.
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."
On their wedding night, the young bride Jodie, approached her new Husband Marvin and asked for $20.00 for their first Lovemaking encounter.
In His highly aroused state,
Marvin readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more
Than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find
Marvin in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that Cal Trans was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had
been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, Jodie handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty
years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied
and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, Marvin was so astounded he could barely speak, but
finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
Tonight while watching a tv show they dealt with one character's struggle in understanding how the victim felt/feels. In a previous show he had been the one who was victimized and so now he was able to know and understand what was going through their minds at the time.
I started thinking about others, as I so often do. How do you feel when you suddenly realise you know and can understand how another feels? It made me think of different situations where this can occure. For example in racism or discrimination of any sort. So often many of us say things without thinking about what we are saying and not realising how we're discriminating against others. Then I thought about how many of us have simply shrugged off another's pain at a loss or their fears when they find out about Cancer. It hasn't happened to us so we simply can't understand it. Sure we say what we think we're supposed to say at the time. "I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have happened to such a nice person. I'm there if you need me as a friend." But we truly can't understand fully. Or perhaps we don't know how to try to understand.
Sometimes we've been conditioned not to respond or to show emotions in certain situations. Real Men don't cry, remember that saying? Sometimes we're afraid to show emotions and empathy towards others. It tends to be viewed as a weakness in our characther. Or is it?
In the tv show at the end, he asked his co-worker "So how do I deal with it?" The co-worker simply responded "You work with it and allow it to make you a better person." Guess what people, there is more truth in that simple answer. Emapthy isn't a weakness. It's a real strength. Being able to work with our emotions and thoughts is a strength. Being able to think and care about others is a strength. Being able to use that to help others is one of the best strengths in our character.
It doesn't matter the size of the action we take that uses our empathy, it's going to make a difference, in someone else's life.. and in our lives. You see, every time we give something of ourselves, we get it back ten fold.
So don't be afraid to understand and to show that understanding to others. Sometimes even just a knowing smile of support is all it takes to lift a spirit in need. So go for it.
Flicking through the MSN/CTV videos online tonight I came across one that actually caught my interest, Bono (and his famous friends) takes over the cover of Vanity Fair. His message, "Africa is a land of Opportunities and not a burden." Vanity Fair is doing series. 20 Covers of various celebreties have been presented in such a manner that it appears as a visual chain letter. The message they want to get across is simply this, Africa is a land of Opportunity and Adventure and Not a Burden.
This brought to mind that not too long ago, historically speaking, North America was considered and perhaps still is considered to be the "Land of Opportunities" to many people around the world. Now those countries that have viewed our Countries as being the new begining are starting to see a turn around. I think sometimes we get so caught up in our own egos as a society that we overlook the opportunities that are merely waiting to be swept up and taken advantage of. I don't mean "taken advantage of" in the sense that we use and misuse these people and the resourses to better ourselves, I mean that we fail to see where we could be helping another to accomplish what we have worked hard at for hundreds of years and appearingly have Mastered. North America is a huge success. Of course there is always room for improvement and we aren't at all a perfect society, far from it. But we have excelled in areas and have so much to share and give to other countries. We have so much to teach and to encourage other countries in.
With the world growing smaller every day and our ability to connect with peoples all over the world it simply makes more sense to try to work together rather then to belittle and browbeat other countries. We tend to be leaders in all aspects and areas of life, Business, Medicine, Finance, Law and so on.
I personally don't believe that things should simply be handed out in charity. While Charity works it doesn't solve the root problems. But if each of us in some way worked together to help and to teach others how to establish and build up their close society and to make it self sufficient, wouldn't that be doing a service to those who need it most and in turn to ourselves? Wouldn't that be turning a Land into an Opportunity rather then seeing it as a burden?
It's all in Attitude and Perspective. How we view a country and it's people is definately about our perspective and our attitude. I definately don't see Burden and I can definately see Opportunities. And in all honesty that excites me. I absolutely agree with and stand with Bono and Vanity Fair on this one.. Africa is a land of Opportunity.
It's a known fact that children learn copying examples. I'm sure that while growing up we've all been told that we were an example and that younger children would mimic our behavours. As parents we get told that we have to set a good example for our children. But how often do we think about the examples we set for our peers?
We know that in the work place if we want to teach someone a new program/job the best way is through example and explanations. Have you ever throught though about how much others might be watching our behavours though and learning from them? People are watchers, it's a known fact. We are curious creatures and tend to watch others far more then we might realise. How we behave when we interact with others is closely observed and in many times mimiced too. And the more important our role is within the company the more important our examples are. I know personally I've watched the uppper management I've worked with very carefully. How did they act or react in a certain situation? Was it the best way to handle that situation? Should I try to do the same when faced with the same situation someday in the future? And in the long run it's paid off for me. I've made far fewer mistakes in my dealings with others then I probably would have, simply from following a good example.
All that being said though have you ever thought about the example you show to others here on the blog boards? Are we helping others to better themselves or avoid problems? Are we giving good advice? Are we being responsible and mature in our behavour and mannerisms? Are we having fun? Are we bring good topics to light and having adult discussions/debates about them?
I've taken the liberty of changing the word "children" to "adults" in Dorothy Law Nolte, PhD's poem "Children learn what they live" as I feel the poem can and should apply to us as well.
If adults live with criticism, They learn to condemn.
If adults live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If adults live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If adults live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If adults live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If adults live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If adults live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If adults live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If adults live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If adults live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If adults live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If adults live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
So how do you want to live and how do you want those around you to live. Think about it.
It started off with something little. A book left out of place. His coffee was too strong. "You know how I like everything so why can't you get it right" I thought I had made a real mistake and messed things up so I tried harder. Then if a man simply smiled at me in passing or held the door for me as I went through, I was flirting. But the sun rose and set on him, couldn't he see that? "Don't bother trying to make me that supper, you can't do it nearly as good as my mother can" So I begged his mother to teach me how to make it her way, but it never seemed to turn out right in his eyes. First it was something little and happened only once, but little by little it become more frequent and growing in intensity. That first time he ever laid a hand on me in anger he merely pushed me just a tiny bit. I was shocked. He lost his temper with me one day in a local mall when I ran into a male class mate of mine and his two small boys and merely talked about the previous class. Suddenly I was disgracing him in his home town and having an affair. I can remember being so upset and mad, again disbelieving that he couldn't see how much I loved him and adored him. Then the gifts started. For every time he lost his temper with me it was diamond earings, new clothes and so on. It won't happen again, here let me buy you something to show you how sorry I am. But it happened again and again.
Then while pregnant I had complications and ended up in the hospital early in the pregnancy. I was at home alone and I was terrified, while he was hundreds of miles away at his parents. I called him for reassurance and love. Isn't that what husbands are for? He never offered to come home and be with me and said I'd be fine. When he got home he was livid with me. How dare I ruin his family get together by pulling a stunt like that. That was the night he first hit me. "It's all your fault" he said. I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong. This floored me. I'm not uneducated. In fact in highschool I counselled my peers and helped get some out of bad situations. We'd been trained about abuse. I couldn't accept that I was in an abusive situtation. It grew from there sadly. His yelling at me and belittling me happened more often. He even accused me of having an affair with my childhood best friend, who's wife had been his childsweetheart and my other best friend since kindergarten. They distanced themselves from me in an effort to protect me. Then I went into labour early and the baby was born too early and died. The guilt trips he put on me. Months later when I was pregnant again his words were" Abort the baby since you know you will never carry it to term and you're going to be a horrible mother anyways. You don't deserve to have this baby." I started to ask myself if he was right. I started to question myself on every action I took every minute of every day. I had to be doing something wrong. There had to be something wrong wtih me. It grew and grew until it was a raging monster of hate and fear. I kept telling myself I could try harder and he'd love me again and treat me like a queen. I was issolated and alone. I tried and tried and it never happened. It only got worse over time. Not even having police and charges laid against him helped. He was back in no time at all and made sure I was pregnant again so I couldn't leave him again. And the monster grew.
The day I lay on the floor floating in between a consious and unconsious state after having been thrown across the room to hit my head while he picked me up by the shoulders and threw me back down again on the floor over and over, I could hear my daughter screaming he'd killed me. When I came to that was the day I decided it had to stop. I started to plan and wait for the right moment to put my plans into action. I started to get mad at him for how he was hurting us all and especially me. And we did it. We left and have never looked back and will NEVER go back to that life. And I was the first one to ask for professional help to never repeat that again. And I won't.
I wanted to tell this story for one reason. Maybe somewhere out there someone will get involved with a man like my ex husband. And that little thing will start up and make a side of him come out. Watch for the little signs please and don't ever dismiss them. Abuse can happen to all of us. Rich or poor. From educated or non educated backgrounds. Don't be afraid to admit it, especially to yourself. You are a valuable person who should be loved and treasured and not broken and used. No matter how rich, powerful, good looking he is.. he does NOT have the right to mistreat you. If you see those little signs and something in the back of your mind tells you this isn't right, PLEASE listen to that little voice. I didn't and I dismissed it. And picking up the pieces and starting again is very hard to do. And if you need a friend, I'm always here to listen and to help. And if I'm not, others are and are more then willing to help. We all have choices to make in life. He's made his, now you make yours. Love yourself and believe in yourself. You're worth the world of treasures.
Alright I think I've had more then I can take now. When I first came onto the internet I will admit that I went a bit insane trying to figure out what all the short forms of words meant. I quickly learned the LOL and L and even EG (evil grins) and BOL (burst out laughing) and LMAO (okay I don't think I've ever truly laughed my ass off.. it's attached well) It seemed like a cute and fun way to show some expressions on the internet. But one thing bothered me. People shortening words in sentences or using slang for words. Perhaps it's just the memory of always being corrected if I didn't use proper English when talking in class or at home that's influenced me.
Trying to read an email or have a conversation with someone that shortens words like For-4.. are-R You-U, is just mind boggling. My first instinct is to think that I'm speaking with someone from a certain age group. Hey I can see where many a teen would do it. When I was in high school we'd send notes in pigLatin. But then I've found out that some people are very well educated that do this. And I don't understand that. If you've spent good money obtaining an education why not use those skills perpetually. Emailing and chatting in these short forms isn't giving a good impression to others. It almost seems to belittle those who do it. Now I'm not saying this about someone who's first language is not English. I've noticed how many times words are shortened or misspelled in that sense. I'm talking about those who have grown up in English speaking countries with good solid educational skills. And what is scary is that more and more people are pushing to have these shortened words accepted. Some people even want them included in a dictionary. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet.
Don't even ask about the grammar that people use. Does no one know how to correctly form and use words and sentences anymore? Or is it just me that's noticing this and being agrivated by it?
That perfect romance with that perfect partner suddenly starts to turn sour. He/she does something that you find really irritating and you try to let it slide and move on. But it's not something you can let go and it starts to eat at your resistance until one day it's gone over the edge. You can't take it anymore. Everyone will state that you are the calmest and most patient person on the earth. But you snap and all hell breaks loose. So what do you do and will it end up affecting the relationship? Are there ways to avoid getting this mad with that love of yours? You try talking it out but they simply shut down and refuse to talk to you. And that anger grows stronger. When will it end? Where will it take you? Is there a way out of the mess?
For those who find who need somewhere to vent some anger, go for it here. I won't delete comments. For those of you who have suggestions or success stories from the ashes please post away. Just go for it!
Do we as a society over label each other? Think about it for a moment please. If you're really good looking or have a certain sex appeal you're considered "Hot". Where as someone that tends to be rather average or under average with brains, they are a "Geek". We as society associate personalities with labels. We automatically assume that a woman with blond hair is a "Blond" and therefore an airhead and an easy mark for sex. Most men I know assume that she is also better at sex because of course she has blond hair and is therefore hotter then others. Redheads have a fiery disposition. And so on. We label each other in regards to looks, age, height, body build and even self confidence. We label people simply based upon where they come from in this world too. We tend to lump people together and place certain behaviors on them simply based on what country they were grew up in. Or what religion they believe in. So many labels.
In our workplaces; sales men are known as being perverts with fast hands and small brains. Secretaries are either hot to trot or cold as ice, usually depending on age and looks. Executives are seen my some as being over controlling and cold. Okay some women think executives and think power and it?s a turn on. Then there are Doctors and nurses, okay that one depends on if you're facing a needle or not sometimes. For every job that there is there is a mind set of how they should look and behave. There is a label.
But what we don't realize is how hurtful these labels can be towards others. First of all in most cases the labels are completely wrong. Some of the most intelligent women I know of have blond hair and blue eyes. I've met some extremely good looking men and women there were some of the most boring people going. As for the cultural labels, well each country consists of many individual that are as unique as you and I are. As for work related labels, again the same rule applies. Everyone is simply unique and special and while there are certain characteristics of a job they don't always mean that we behave in the same ways for the same jobs.
But one of the most hurtful labels, are those that we place upon children and adults with physical and mental challenges. I watched a TV show today in which a 14 year old girl was inspired to do up a documentary of a day in the life with her twin brother who was mentally challenged. So often we assume the worst and treat people like this with such disrespect and malice. In her movie she showed the good sides of life with her brother. How he was pure joy. And then she showed the hard times, where his behavior made it difficult to deal with normal social situations. Her one main thought was; why people couldn't just take the time to get to know him rather then to label him a "retard" and to judge him.
It's a very good point really. Instead of labeling everyone why not take the time to simply get to know them and to see what they really are like. We can never get away from labeling each other but at least if we try we might just discover some incredible facts about people that we never knew existed or facts about those we know barely that might surpise us. And we might just discover a new friend or better yet, the love of our life. Why not stop labeling and start looking with open eyes and minds.
Okay I know what you all are thinking, alright maybe 85% of you are. Naughty Naughty! But now that I have your attention, how often do you ever wish you knew what or how someone else was thinking? I know that there are enough instances in life where I've thought, why on earth is he/she reacting or behaving like that? Do you remember hearing your parents or a teacher when we were younger saying, "Try putting yourself in their shoes."? I can remember my common quick come back too. "Well I'm not them so how can I think like they do and I'd never behave like that to begin with, they must not have a brain" or some stupid and cheesy come back would spring from my lips.
Yet in Theatre training in my early teens it was common when we did improve to be given a role or a situation and then have to try to think and behave as accurately as we thought. Well years later when dealing with very complicated or touchy situations I've found myself trying that again. How would I react were I in those same situations? What would I do? What would I say? There always seems to be multiple answers too.
I never truly realized that role playing like this, even if it's only in one's mind, can be extremely useful and be used to gauge our own actions and reactions. Perhaps some view it as giving excuses to those with poor behaviour but the truth is, we simply don't know all the circumstances behind everyone and therefore we can know how they are going to act or react. Sometimes thinking about others changes how I might automatically act or react at a given time. Other times it let's me know by their reaction how I need to respond.
It never truly hurts though to try and put yourself in another's shoes now and again. Simply imagine quickly first. Sometimes it's a very useful and can save a great deal of hurts and heartaches. Just imagine.
Thought I'd share a fun bit of news with everyone. Today at 1pm EST, 1525 schools across Canada will be participating in singing the same song at the same time. Most will be going outdoors to sing their song also. My two younger children only go to school in the mornings but we were encouraged to bring the children back to let them join in. So it's a picnic at the park and then joining in with hundreds of children right across a nation.
I guess sometimes it takes the smallest of souls to show us that perhaps unity can be accomplished and by working together we can do great things. I know this seems small in comparison to many other causes that are out there... but what a great example these children are showing us adults. So why not follow their example and get out there and join up or start something that can be shared with a nation or nations. Go for it. The time is now!