1. You wanted to state that you are 'spiritual, but not religious' to a group of people who actually know what that means
2. You don't know how to 'wink' with your eye in real-life, so you enjoy sending 'winks' via email
3. The 'Ask April Dating Tips' are worth the $20 a month, even though the feminine April is really a prison inmate named 'One-Eyed Snake' just trying to make some extra cash
4. You are a 56 year old-man who listed your age requirement for a woman to be between 18-21; only to discover the person you've been chatting with and are possibly falling in love with is actually your granddaughter Jessica by mistake
5. It's fun to read the 'Success Stories' ...all four of them
6. It's fun to join a Chat- IM, only to find by the time it pops up on your screen, the person actually wrote it 7 days ago and now hates your guts for not responding
7. You are positive that the guy you are chatting with is Charlie Sheen, even though he's 4'11'', 458 pounds and lives in South Dakota
8. No one but you, knows that there is absolutely NOT ONE PERSON in your 'My Circle of Friends'
9. You tried to go to a real bar to meet someone, but when they made a joke, instead of laughing, you accidently said 'LOL'
and the top reason...............................drum roll.......................
10. WHERE ELSE CAN YOU... show a picture with you and your Porsche, even though it was repossessed 4 months ago' OR claim to be worth $10 million as you are posing in a Camel Lights T-Shirt in a trailer park with your barefoot and pregnant chick in the background, holding a can of Skoal tobacco and smiling at the camera right after you just spit