Hello every ,
I am currently very new and very lost on what to do. ::lol:: I just now relised that this started to ryme I do enjoy to write but I swear that I was not trying to do make poetry on my blog I think I have like 4 or 5 that I already do that to to show case some of my work to firneds.
Any Who welcome to all the new comes ike me I hope you all get the chance to chat with me and get to know me better Hope to talk to you soon So till then
Well I didn;t mean to orget this blog alot of thigs have happened since the last time I was here I had a death in the family sadly my grandmother passed away back in march
My sister and her two kids moved n the house with me so it is just a bit crazy here. But besides all that I continue to work hard and support my family being that I will be 28 soon I can only hope that I don't get too crazy ::lol:
Have 2 boys one 4 the other 9 things will be intresting to say the least...I am in need of a vacation
Through out my day I have come to realized the craziness continues no matter what you do. I mean I got my hair done as well as my nails bought some make up got dressed up and went to dinner were I met up with a friend, and in all of that the craziness was still there I tried to act like a proper ?lady? but when we were talking out ?what if s?
I snorted and laughed not very lady like I know but it was part of the craziness that was going on it was part of the experience granted I didn?t Half to wear a dress but I did it made me feel good and I wish my camera worked So I could have token pictures
But sadly that to is part of the craziness It had a good batter and every thing it just kept turning it self off.
But with all the craziness that is going on in our merger lives its always good to be home and to quote the wizard of Oz ?There is no place like home.?
Passion and honor
Honor and passion
That witch we want is those that we seek
Honor a thing of pride
Passion a thing of want
The honor of passion
The passion of honor
Makes hearts race
Makes hearts unite
Makes the love we feel leap inside
Honor is a quest
Passion is a love
Passion and honor,
Honor and Passion
A thing of desire?
A thing of want?
A voice in my head screams at me
A voice in me drives me on to the point of no return
Put those together what do you get? a PHD <-:lol:
It seems like every day we are constantly going thru changes and we are making decisions on those changed. My current changes were for my family and I know we all make changes when our family is concerned. Family is always the thing that causes change. My change was a change in shift at work and though I was on that shift for 4 ? years before my promotion It felt strange to be work a some what normal schedule
I guess I sort of gotten use to working swing instead of days. Change is good on so many levels we change our looks, what we eat, our habits?every thing I guess we should never fear change, because change is what makes us who we are?what we are.
My thoughts on change is Change?it is what the world is constantly doing what inspires us to improve in our day to day lives. It is a building tool a path, a ?desire? I want to change so many thing about my self but I think that is normal who doesn?t want to change there self into
Some one better to improve them self for more opportunities and a chance to change for the better but that is up to there person who is making the changes to themselves
In a lot of ways I am repeating what I said a few days ago change and desire go hand in hand .
What are your thoughts on change? Or desire?
Is Change good? Is it bad?
What about desire?
In life we all have wants and desires must is the desire of the flesh the desire to want, to hold to love, to possess and it becomes an obsession a strong hold as passion
For lovers. I am only human and have desires like son may others but sometimes my desires are not meet
My heart beats and aches for the things I want but can not have
It aches for the things I see but can not touch
It aches for me and wanting to be whole
It looks for it?s perfect match
It looks for the one who will not hurt it again
We all fear hurt but yet we desire love and companionship
We desire to be whole and to be free if just for a moment
We desire for tranquility and every thing we could possibly need
It is a dark desire it is part of the darkness with in us that some times allows us to do wicked things or thing we soon regret
I am only Human and I too have a dark desire , a wickedness to be touched, haled, loved and conquered over.
But then there is that part of us that is pure and is scared of the wants and desires
It is scared of the new world around it self it is scared of losing something once it is found
And it gives us strength, Hope and courage at times to face the darkness and shed a light
On it to embrace it so we become balanced some stay innocent after looking in to the dark cause they are frightened at what they see or do not wish to embrace it
And those that do some of the change sometimes for the better and others not for the best
The darkness in our mind the desires we have, feel, want, change each one of us
And sometimes it continues to change us over time and only time will tell
With our Dark desires with Our hearts Our Wants, or longing to be complete
~ this came to me after a talk I had at work with a co-worker about relation ships that don?t work out in the work place and how the Co-workers, Team members or cast
some time make it hard for one to continue working at there place of employment
she asked me what I thought about it and I told her the above and that if two people who work together and goes out to have a relationship and it dose not work out they must be mature adults to leave the other be and not be spiteful or petty
and then the who Dark desires inspired me I still wonder about it , can it be that with these Desires to have a mate, a lover, A husband, wife, ect part of the darkness that witch we embraced forever changing our destiny? Can it Be that with Our Desires and Heart on the line we are willing to risk it all for just a moment? And will it always remain as such a dark desire?
I guess in life we all have hard ships we try to understand I always try to be honest whit who I am and try to understand "my fellow man" if you were to say that. It is hard sometimes when you think about the actions of others and wonder why they didn't do that action differently or do it your way and that thought makes you angry and in the end causes you hardships. I know in this game of life we all make mistakes and we all must deal with he consequences of those mistakes no matter what the out come may be.
But for me I take these hardships and these consequences of my action as the tools I need to improve upon my self and to hopeful help others with what I have learned. I know what your all thinking you are probably all thinking What has caused me to write my blog this way. And a lot of it is due to the stress in my life of a ill family , A sister who is being controlled, A brother who thinks he is god, and a father who had lost his way but found it again and is wanting redemption for all the wrong doings in his past
As I told my mother this morning through tears and screaming (we had a fight)
Every thing happens for a reason, but it?s not fair if you don?t share your burden with me ( my grand Mother who is ill) I share every thing with her she know about my Love life ( or the lack of it currently) she knows about my work, My school, my finical hard ships but she won?t share with me on How she is scared that Her mother with never make it home or that she will be left along in those last hours of her mothers life to take care of her.
So in that respect she is unfair, she wants me to have my life to live but hw can I live if I know she is suffering do to watch My Grandmother, Her mother, slowly deter ate from our lives. I was there at 16 when Grandfather, Her father passes away and I want be there for her now to allow her to cry and to share with me her feelings about what is going on but yet she dose not and in that it is causing anger, stress, and hardships not only for her but for me, my brother and my sister, But we as adults that have our own lives can only do so much or as much as one person allows.
Hardship and understanding, I am guessing it is along like good and evil, Yin and yang they balance each other out and in the end Help a person to become strong and they can pass that strength on to future generations
Oh First post those is always fun to do make sure your blog is in working condition.
errrr I'm not sure what else I'm supose to write in theres things my Profile basicly says it all about me well I guess I could rant about work... well I work Full time on the Swing shift at a Local Casino
That Casino would be Pechanga, I have been there 5 years and am currently attending classes to get a certificate in Casino Gaming through SDSU. I willalso be taking a Managent course though Phonex of Ariazon come Spring or Summer
I love animals I have 4 dog 1 cat
um lets see what else I think that is it feel free to ask me any questions hope to talk to you soon so till then