The other day I went shopping, and stumbled upon noticing someone who clearly stood out of the crowd, and seemed to be surrounded by aura of confidence and ability that is commonly known as class. It was love from the first sight, and I firmly decided not to leave the place alone.
And I didn't. I brought him home: a beautiful, made of stone frog, who takes my breath away every time I look at him. I intend to give him a kiss every day until he turns into an incredible person he is meant to be. I hope our story will become the next Pygmalion / Galatea story, and not some other well-known tale.
Just read an advice by Chiara Atik why you should always go on that one date if someone makes an effort to ask you. Because, well, you never know.
I would agree with that rule, because it is true, and you never know, but in my experience, it seems like I have to go through breakup every time, and I hate breakups! What do you say to someone you had a date with once, and realized that it can not go beyond friendship? You do not want to offend the person making up some excuse, like "I had a really great time, but I am going to be busy washing my hair for the rest of my life", you want to be respectful to the person, and let him know explicitly that there is no chemistry, and a second date makes no sense.
So, what do you do? How do you handle it? What do you say?
We all know how important close relationships are to our mental and physical health, to our happiness, and love is the most important of all. Yet we seem to work hard on screwing up our existing relationships, and sabotaging our chances in developing new relationships. We let small things ruin great relationships, and make a big deal out of nothing.
And then we reluctantly subscribe for online dating services, and spend years in front of our computers, instead of meeting people face-to-face, and making attempts to having real relationships. We flip through profiles keeping in mind not so happy past experience, and always seem to find a reason why that or another profile should not be taken into consideration, even though we know how little those profiles can tell us about the real people who wrote them.
Are we destroying our happiness through self fulfilling prophecy? Are we letting our lives pass us by?
I have decided to start exploring NYC, and was hoping that the residents (and non-residents)of the city would help me with that.
What places you believe should be seen rather than well known attractions? What are your favorite attractions, coffee shops, restaurants, theaters, shows, bars, clubs... etc?
"You are smarter than you look" - I was told in a recent instant chat with a member of an online dating club. It sounded like a verdict, or a remark in a closing speech. Luckily, I did not get a chance to quote Nietzsche, having been occupied with his extensive compliments to my looks. lol
I never thought that being smart and good looking would be a problem, is it? And I am not really that smart: I would be filthy rich if I were. So, what is it exactly that men are looking for in a woman? Looks only? Looks or intellect? Somehow, I can not imagine that a man would be attracted to a smart but not good looking woman, but it seems that I have no idea what men in an online dating club want....
Remember those days before online dating? At a party you would hear a group of women discussing new restaurants, fashion trends, diets etc. Now I hear more and more women discussing online dating in general, and some members/dates in particular. Here is a conversation I overheard recently.
Woman 1: Hey Jane, how are you?
Woman 2: Not bad, going on a date with Carl tomorrow.
Woman 1: Which Carl: ABC11 or XYZ22?
Woman 1: ABC11.
Woman 3: Oh, I saw him yesterday. He is very nice.
Woman 2: Really? He did sound nice on the phone. Are you going to see him again?
Woman 3: Ummmm... I am not sure. Seems like he has some issues, and I don't need it right now. I am seeing QWE tomorrow.
Woman 1: QWE? I saw him last week.....
When you are a member of an online dating club, you have few contacts, and sometimes you meet few people in a week for coffee/drink. Also, there are others you have not met yet, but you enjoy written communication with them. And then one of them asks you to dinner.. If you agree, are you supposed to cancel all coffee/drink meetings that are already planned? Are you supposed to stop written communication with others? And at what point are you supposed to cancel/freeze your membership?
I was just having a conversation with a friend about enigmatic Russian soul, and why Russians are hard to understand. He mentioned that Russians are highly emotional/passionate and cold-blooded at the same time; constantly drunk (men), yet operate nukes, airplanes etc. etc. That's when I realized that "Russian roulette" was invented by Russians, as well as The Periodic Table of Elemens !
It seems that some of us make mistakes, others - get it right from the beginning, so it seems. But the reality is that it's not what it seems, and life is not black and white, it's grey, and there are many shades of grey....
Below is a note from "Postsecret". Very interesting, I think.
I have always thought that 3 years age difference is being coinsidered about the same age. And was somewhat surprised by a question if I would be comfortable dating a man who is 3 years younger...... So, when we say "she is dating a younger man", how much younger do we mean? Two years? Three? ....
"This belief has created a lot of trouble for people, especially in the area of commitment. By insisting on finding a perfect partner, many people have walked away from really great potential partners. Why? Because something was missing. Maybe it was chemistry, or that he/she didn't match their ideal of The One. So they've ended up alone, still looking for that perfect soul mate. The renowned family psychiatrist Frank Pittman once said, "Nothing has produced more unhappiness than the concept of the soul mate."
It seems to me that not so many people have a lot of luck in online dating clubs, unless, so many people just love being online dating club members too well :)
My understanding is that we want to find someone sooner rather than later, and enjoy our lives, yet, I see that some members joined the club few years back, and do not seem to be trying to get to know someone. We all understand that profiles really do not tell us a lot, if anything, about another person. Or ... do they?
This experience taught me two things. The first is that age is not just a number. It is a fairly accurate measurement that describes where you have been and what is left in front of you. It tells you what you may have in common with someone. The second is to know what you are attracted to, understand what you want in a partner and a relationship, and confirm that these things are in agreement before you choose to spend time with someone. Now I stay away from age extremes, and in those rare moments when I meet someone extremely younger or older who I'm into, I look for common interests before committing to a date. This works for me because I recognize that age matters. It is simply naive to think otherwise."
It seems that everybody is enjoying creating/reading blogs, so I just checked the word "blog" on Dictionary.com, and decided to create my own one. No interesing thoughts yet, for lack of experience, but I will get there, hopefully :)