Happy Thursday. WOW, it's been a while since I've been on here. Took some time off to pursue my studies and help with the care of my ailing mother... It's been a rough year. Wondering how things are going here... Would love to chat!!!
Miss you all a LOT! Nursing school's going well, acing my classes. Work's good but not terribly busy, get to do a lot of homework :)
Hope you're all well! Drop me a line and say HI as I haven't checked in here for quite some time :)
Just checking in to see how everyone's doing... I've had a whirlwind spring with new job and acing last semester of school. One more to go and then off to my Master's program...
Hope everyone's doing well. Even though I have a break this summer, it's jam-packed with fun and travel. Please drop by to say hi once in a while!
I have been troubled by something that I'm not sure what to do about. I need to put this out here and ask for advice! I'll try to make it short...
I have been friends with this guy for about 3 years, we'll call him John. We met and both hang out at the same tavern. Over the course of our friendship we've had a lot of fun and great conversations. I knew he has been living with a gal, we'll call her Jane, since before I met him and met Jane about a year after John and I did. She and I are now friends too. She travels a lot for her job and has family in Oregon so she's quite a bit. So, while Jane is away he emails me on occasion and asks me to meet him for a drink and watch a game or just hang out. I've always been happy to oblige as I enjoy his company.
Last night was one of those nights, so I thought nothing of it. I noticed right off the bat that he was a little more touchy-feely than he normally is and about half way through the night started to tell me that he is not where he'd like to be in his relationship with Jane. When I asked him why, he said one of the reasons is because she's away a lot, but the other is because he's been attracted to me since we first met. I thought he was joking at first and told him I thought the same until I met Jane. John laughed and said "I'M SERIOUS!" I told him that Jane is my friend and I would never do anything to jeopardize that, plus I don't have romantic feelings for him.
Without going into great details of the conversation, I dropped it and we moved on until we left. He walked me back to my car and I gave him our normal "Nice to see you" hug and started to turn to get into my car when he grabbed me and planted one on me. I don't mean just a "kiss," I mean he PLANTED one on me. I pushed him away and told him I could not go down that road and left quickly.
So, here's my question... I know if I was in Jane's shoes I would want to know. But, I'm afraid of saying anything because I don't want her to blame me or have it get in between our newly formed friendship, nor do I want to ruin whatever relationship THEY have and let them deal with whatever their issues are themselves. I also don't want to stop hanging out at the tavern because I've been going there for years and have other friends there too... On the other hand... I think she deserves to know...
What should I do???? It's eating me alive. Right now, I am telling myself to just pretend it never happened and keep doing what I do but stop hanging out with John if Jane's not there. But I feel guilty that I've been put into this position as well. I don't like secrets but I don't like lying even more....
Just dropping in to say hi to my fellow MM'ers. Hectic week but loving being back at work and the "perks" on top of my already phenomenal benefits package is extra-worth-wild!!! Still have 3 more weeks of school AND ski patrol so not likely to be here with any frequency as I'm having enough trouble coordinating a decent schedule right now, let alone the next few weeks. Thanks to those who have popped in to check in on me, much appreciated :) Keep it up as the stress may just about kill me before the month's end.
Sorry, I once again cannot keep up with limp but not here to catch the "flow" and too much to read to participate.
p.s. George, I took a beautiful picture of a cherry tree in full bloom with the mountains behind it... have to figure out how to get it off my phone, or the time to figure it out.
Anyhow, HI and BYE!!!!
WHY MEN ARE RARELY DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal... You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a seven step stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. It really works!
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of Nancy Pelosi, the person you are holding under water.
There! See? It really does work. You're smiling already. Feel free to forward this if you know others who might benefit from this technique.
"Never run a joke about Sicilians when relaxation is on the line! Ha ha ha!"
En memorium of your hard drive :)
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
Any of my fellow MM bloggers, my buddies, my pals, interested in joining my FB? I only accept those I consider my friends and I am on there much more than here as I can access it from my phone. All of my former MM'ers from way back when are there too :)
Just asking. If so, send me your email or full name and I'll befriend you :)
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
Many folks over 50 are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' , we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.
Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combination's DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3.. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
And, Most importantly
At some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts
OK, I have been in contact with a few of you personally but others have inquired as to my whereabouts and my short visits and posts, as well as no visit to the LW (even though I have)... Gosh... where to start??? First, I guess, thanks to all who have inquired... BIG HUGS, I've missed it here!!! :D
Without going into a lot of background, I was laid-off twice in 2008 (totaling 4 in a dozen years). My background is as a Senior Corporate Paralegal, working in-house for large corporations. After my last layoff, decided to go back to school and change careers completely. In the meantime knowing I had to continue working, although living on some nice "packages" from the layoffs... I entered back into academia in June to begin my studies in Nursing, pursuing a Master's with an emphasis in Medical Ethics and Law. Why the drastic career move, you ask? Well, I have been a National Ski Patrol volunteer for 8 years and have my EMT Certification and Outdoor Emergency Care certification. I enjoy being a first responder and working with people, as opposed to sitting in my office only interacting with peers or clients over the phone. Many of my fellow patrollers recommended this path, and I agreed!!!
As with Trish, with my career experience and education, I thought NOTHING of the difficult task of finding a new position as I was never unemployed for longer than a few days, unless by choice. Well, our "new" economy dictated differently. I have been unemployed (other than consulting "gigs") for almost 2 years, having interviewed for hundreds of positions (literally - 35 this year alone)... Very discouraging but still on the hunt and still studying away in school...
Well, funny story... I get a call from the HR department of this company last Monday, she said they had already gone through the first round of interviews and, although the attorney liked the skills of the other Paralegal's, they were all a bit "stiff" and wanted somebody with personality, a bit more "bubbly"... WOW... could she have COME to a better person??? LOL... Had an interview the next morning and walked away feeling really good about it - having been there for almost 2 hours. I sent him a "thank you" that night and on Wednesday he asked me to meet for coffee on Thursday. I initially thought "HOW ODD..." but agreed. He hired me ON THE SPOT and has offered me full benefits and 10% higher salary than I have been accustomed to. So, I am now the Sr. Paralegal for the new Merchant Services division for Bank of America AND First Data!!!
Now, the burning question on everyone's mind... will this change my "new" career path... NO! I will continue my studies at night and on weekends and will figure out my clinical's when I have to cross that path. Funny, this won't even interfere with my timeline for graduation.
What does this mean for MM? Hopefully not much! I will be SUPER busy throughout the next couple of months but will figure it all out... if I don't burn-out first! PACE, PACE, PACE... I worked and went to school full-time when I was younger but I'm no spring chicken, so I must "get my house in order" prior to the first day on the job.
The other good news that I get "giddy" over is the fact that if I can LIVE on unemployment and survive, I can't wait to save money and be able to PLAY a lot more than the past few years... I mean travel mostly, which I miss terribly! And that new Audi I've had my eye on!!!!
Thanks to all for your support and friendship!!!
Let me get this straight......
We've passed a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it...
Passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it...
To be signed by a president that also hasn't read it and who smokes...
With funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay
All to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke.
What the hell could possibly go wrong?
Universal Laws..."Are these ever TRUE!!"
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last, leave their seats several times and leave early.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chance of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
- I thank God that you are unique!
- You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.
- Its always nice to see you, from far away.
- Parting is such sweet sorrow, knowing that I am going to have to see you again tomorrow.
- I hate watching you go. You block everything in view.
- Here is a pair of scissors. Run!
- Your opinions mean as much to me as my facts mean to you.
- Oh, you are an artist. I thought you were just deranged.
- You make my life feel longer than necessary.
- The problem with common sense is that most people are morons.
- They worship the ground that he walks away from.
Always cracks me up!!!
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend
5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will
crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!
It turns out that Chuck had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.
The night went very well. The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Chuck even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'
'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
'Oh, that........... Chuck was too tired.'
God is good
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:
MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them...
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing them:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'